“Americans already have a term for the thing, Landgrave,” interjected Wilhelm smoothly. “They call it a ‘package deal.’ ”
Hesse-Kassel cocked his eyebrow. “Indeed?”
“Oh, yes. In fact, the American vocabulary for matters of fine political distinction is quite massive.” He smiled sweetly. Simpson suspected Saxe-Weimar was taking the opportunity to drive home a point. “Remind me someday to explain such terms as ‘logrolling’ and ‘pork-barrel’ and ‘line-item veto.’ The concept of the ‘filibuster’ is particularly enchanting.”
Simpson cleared his throat. “In other words, the king of Sweden—ah, ’emperor of the CPE’ I should say—”
He paused, a bit nonplussed. Once again, the noblemen in the room were staring at him as if he were a speaking bear.
“Did I mention Americans are fond of acronyms?” mused Wilhelm. “An odd habit, I thought at first. But then, when I saw the enthusiasm with which the Americans proliferate administrative and regulatory bureaus, I realized the logic of it. They’re quite an efficient folk, much given to order and routine. They even have a name for that, too: ‘red tape.’ ”
Now, the noblemen were staring at him as if he were a speaking bear. Or, perhaps, a man they thought they knew suddenly transformed into one. Saxe-Weimar’s smile was still on his face, but it could no longer be described as “sweet.” Indeed, it was rather grim.
“They ruled a continent, lords. They had provinces larger than any realm in Europe. Do you think they did that by the methods of anarchy?”
Simpson sat stiff, wooden-faced. There had been times in his life—not many, but some—when he’d cursed that also. That inability of his to “unbend,” however useful it was in many situations, had cost him in others. In his most honest moments, he knew it had played a large role in losing the affections of his own son. But tonight, in the here and now, it was invaluable. He could tell, just by the look on the faces of the German landgrave and his supporting counts.
To hell with you snots. I’ve forgotten more about efficient administration than the pack of you amateurs will ever learn. But the stiff and wooden face removed the insult, while passing along the fact itself.
“Ah,” said one of the counts. “By ‘CPE’ you refer to—”
Hesse-Kassel chuckled. “It is more efficient, I admit.”
The point having been made well enough, Simpson continued. “In short, Gustav Adolf is demanding that you adopt all of his measures. He will not permit you to pick and choose.”
One of the counts nodded. Glumly: “And some of those other measures are . . . highly distasteful. Speaking for myself, for instance, losing the tolls will cost me—”
“Oh, enough!” exclaimed one of the other noblemen. “Enough, I say! We’ve already agreed to support the emperor and we’ve formed a league to do it. So why waste the rest of the evening fretting over it?”
He bestowed a smile on Simpson which, for the first time coming from any of them except Saxe-Weimar, was the kind of expression a man gives to another man, not the formal grimace one presents to a potentially savage animal.
“I am Ludwig Guenther, Admiral. The count of Schwarzburg-Rudolstadt. And, speaking for myself, I think we will—certainly in the long run—gain far more than we will lose from the emperor’s policies.” His nostrils flared. “If nothing else, abolishing the rule of derogation will mean that my lazy cousins will no longer have any excuse to drain my larder.”
“Surely you won’t turn away the prince of Orange?!” exclaimed Hesse-Kassel, half-laughing and half-grimacing.
Ludwig Guenther smiled thinly. “If my first cousin Frederik Hendrik shows up at my door looking for asylum, I will gladly give it to him. But my second cousin Ernst—to give just one example—can hardly claim Orange’s necessities. Much less his talents! If Ernst can do anything beyond ride a horse and drink himself into a stupor, I have yet to see any evidence of it.”
The count of Schwarzburg-Rudolstadt’s face grew stern. “Half the noblemen of Germany are pure and simple parasites. I know it and you know it—all of you. Well, no longer! Not after the reforms are instituted. Henceforth, they will have no excuses. They will be able to take up any occupation—trade, commerce, whatever—without losing their precious status as members of the Adel. I can assure you that as soon as I return home, those cousins of mine are out the door. Louts, all of them! I’ll give them enough to get started. That’s it.”