A Plague of Demons And Other Stories by Keith Laumer

5

Dan felt a familiar chill in the air. A Portal appeared. In a puff of icy mist, a tall figure stepped through.

Gone was the tight uniform. In its place, the lanky Australopithecine wore skin-tight blue jeans and a loose sweatshirt. An oversized beret clung to the small round head. Immense dark glasses covered the yellowish eyes, and sandals flapped on the bare, long-toed feet. Dzhackoon waved a long cigarette holder at the group.

“Ah, a stroke of luck! How nice to find you standing by. I had expected to have to conduct an intensive search within the locus. Thus the native dress. However—” Dzhackoon’s eyes fell on Snithian standing stiffly by, the gun out of sight.

“You’re of a race unfamiliar to me,” he said. “Still, I assume you’re aware of the Interdict on all Anthropoid-populated loci?”

“And who might you be?” Snithian inquired loftily.

“I’m a Field Agent of the Interdimensional Monitor Service.”

“Ah, yes. Well, your Interdict means nothing to me. I’m operating directly under Ivroy auspices.” Snithian touched a glittering pin on his drab cloak.

Dzhackoon sighed. “There goes the old arrest record.”

“He’s a crook!” Dan cut in. “He’s been robbing art galleries!”

“Keep calm, Dan,” Blote murmured. “No need to be overly explicit.”

The Agent turned to look the Trader over.

“Vegan, aren’t you? I imagine you’re the fellow I’ve been chasing.”

“Who, me?” the bass voice rumbled. “Look, officer, I’m a home-loving family man, just passing through. As a matter of fact—”

The uniformed creature nodded toward the paintings in the carrier. “Gathered a few souvenirs, I see.”

“For the wives and kiddie. Just a little something to brighten up the hive.”

“The penalty for exploitation of a sub-cultural Anthropoid-occupied body is stasis for a period not to exceed one reproductive cycle. If I recall my Vegan biology, that’s quite a stretch.”

“Why, officer! Surely you’re not putting the arm on a respectable, law-abiding being like me? Why, I lost a tentacle fighting in defense of peace—” As he talked, Blote moved toward the carrier.

“—your name, my dear fellow,” he went on. “I’ll mention it to the Commissioner, a very close friend of mine.” Abruptly the Vegan reached for a lever—

The long arms in the tight white jacket reached to haul him back effortlessly. “That was unwise, sir. Now I’ll be forced to recommend subliminal reorientation during stasis.” He clamped stout handcuffs on Blote’s broad wrists.

“You Vegans,” he said, dusting his hands briskly. “Will you never learn?”

“Now, officer,” Blote said, “you’re acting hastily. Actually, I’m working in the interest of this little world, as my associate Dan will gladly confirm. I have information which will be of considerable interest to you. Snithian has stated that he is in the employ of the Ivroy—”

“If the Ivroy’s so powerful, why was it necessary to hire Snithian to steal pictures?” Dan interrupted.

“Perish the thought, Dan. Snithian’s assignment was merely to duplicate works of art and transmit them to the Ivroy.”

“Here,” Snithian cut in. “Restrain that obscene mouth!”

Dzhackoon raised a hand. “Kindly remain silent, sir. Permit my prisoners their little chat.”

“You may release them to my custody,” Snithian snapped.

Dzhackoon shook his head. “Hardly, sir. A most improper suggestion—even from an agent of the Ivroy.” He nodded at Dan. “You may continue.”

“How do you duplicate works of art?” Dan demanded.

“With a matter duplicator. But, as I was saying, Snithian saw an opportunity to make extra profits by retaining the works for repeated duplications and sale to other customers—such as myself.”

“You mean there are other—customers—around?”

“I have dozens of competitors, Dan, all busy exporting your artifacts. You are an industrious and talented race, you know.”

“What do they buy?”

“A little of everything, Dan. It’s had an influence on your designs already, I’m sorry to say. The work is losing its native purity.”

Dan nodded. “I have had the feeling some of this modern furniture was designed for Martians.”

“Ganymedans, mostly. The Martians are graphic arts fans, while your automobiles are designed for the Plutonian trade. They have a baroque sense of humor.”

“What will the Ivroy do when he finds out Snithian’s been double-crossing him?”

“He’ll think of something, I daresay. I blame myself for his defection, in a way. You see, it was my carrier which made it possible for Snithian to carry out his thefts. Originally, he would simply enter a gallery, inconspicuously scan a picture, return home and process the recording through the duplicator. The carrier gave him the idea of removing works en masse, duplicating them and returning them the next day. Alas, I agreed to join forces with him. He grew greedy. He retained the paintings here and proceeded to produce vast numbers of copies—which he doubtless sold to my competitors, the crook!”

Dzhackoon had whipped out a notebook and was jotting rapidly.

“Now, let’s have those names and addresses,” he said. “This will be the biggest round-up in IDMS history.”

“And the pinch will be yours, dear sir,” Blote said. “I foresee early promotion for you.” He held out his shackled wrists. “Would you mind?”

“Well . . .” Dzhackoon hesitated, but unlocked the cuffs. “I think I’m on firm ground. Just don’t mention it to Inspector Spoghodo.”

“You can’t do that!” Snithian snapped. “These persons are dangerous!”

“That is my decision. Now—”

Snithian brought out the pistol with a sudden movement. “I’ll brook no interference from meddlers—”

* * *

There was a sound from the door. All heads turned. The girl Dan had seen in the house stood in the doorway, glancing calmly from Snithian to Blote to Dzhackoon. When her eyes met Dan’s she smiled. Dan thought he had never seen such a beautiful face—and the figure matched.

“Get out, you fool!” Snithian snapped. “No; come inside, and shut the door.”

“Leave the girl out of this, Snithian,” Dan croaked.

“Now I’ll have to destroy all of you,” Snithian keened. “You first of all, ugly native!” He aimed the gun at Dan.

“Put the gun down, Mr. Snithian,” the girl said in a warm, melodious voice. She seemed completely unworried by the grotesque aliens, Dan noted abstractedly.

Snithian swiveled on her. “You dare—!”

“Oh, yes, I dare, Snithian.” Her voice had a firm ring now.

Snithian stared at her. “Who . . . are you . . . ?”

“I am the Ivroy.”

Snithian wilted. The gun fell to the floor. His fantastically tall figure drooped, his face suddenly gray.

“Return to your home, Snithian,” the girl said sadly. “I will deal with you later.”

“But . . . but . . .” His voice was a thin squeak.

“Did you think you could conceal your betrayal from the Ivroy?” she said softly.

Snithian turned and blundered from the room, ducking under the low door. The Ivroy turned to Dzhackoon.

“You and your Service are to be commended,” she said. “I leave the apprehension of the culprits to you.” She nodded at Blote. “I will rely on you to assist in the task—and to limit your operations thereafter to non-interdicted areas.”

“But of course, your worship. You have my word as a Vegan. Do visit me on Vorplisch some day. I’d love the wives and kiddie to meet you.” He blinked rapidly. “So long, Dan. It’s been crazy cool.”

Dzhackoon and Blote stepped through the Portal. It shimmered and winked out. The Ivroy faced Dan. He swallowed hard, watching the play of light in the shoulder-length hair, golden, fine as spun glass . . .

“Your name is Dan?” Her musical voice interrupted his survey.

“Dan Slane,” he said. He took a deep breath. “Are you really the Ivroy?”

“I am of the Ivroy, who are many and one.”

“But you look like—just a beautiful girl.”

* * *

The Ivroy smiled. Her teeth were as even as matched pearls, Dan thought, and as white as—

“I am a girl, Dan. We are cousins, you and I—separated by the long mystery of time.”

“Blote—and Dzhackoon and Snithian, too—seemed to think the Ivroy ran the Universe. But—”

The Ivroy put her hand on Dan’s. It was as soft as a flower petal.

“Don’t trouble yourself over this just now, Dan. Would you like to become my agent? I need a trustworthy friend to help me in my work here.”

“Doing what?” Dan heard himself say.

“Watching over the race which will one day become the Ivroy.”

“I don’t understand all this—but I’m willing to try.”

“There will be much to learn, Dan. The full use of the mind, control of aging and disease . . . Our work will require many centuries.”

“Centuries? But—”

“I’ll teach you, Dan.”

“It sounds great,” Dan said. “Too good to be true. But how do you know I’m the man for the job? Don’t I have to take some kind of test?”

She looked up at him, smiling, her lips slightly parted. On impulse, Dan put a hand under her chin, drew her face close and kissed her on the mouth . . .

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