A SMALL TOWN IN GERMANY by John le Carré

I mean?’

‘I get the idea,’ said Turner, waiting.

‘Then there’s all the cross-references, the sister files in the same series: will they be affected? Should they be destroyed as well? Or should we make up residuals to be on the safe side? Before you know where you are, you’re wandering all over Registry, looking in every nook and cranny; there’s no end to it once you start; nothing’s holy.’

‘I should think it suited him down to the ground.’

‘There’s no restriction,’ Meadowes observed simply, as if replying to a question. ‘It may offend you, but it’s the only system I can understand. Anyone can look at anything, that’s my rule. Anyone sent up here, I trust them. There’s no other way to run the place. I can’t go sniffing round asking who’s looking at what, can I?’ he demanded, ignoring Turner’s bewildered gaze.

‘He took to it like a duck to water. I was amazed. He was happy, that was the first thing. It tickled him, working in here, and quite soon it tickled me having him. He liked the company.’ He broke off. ‘The only thing we ever really minded,’ he said with an unexpected smile, ‘was those ruddy cigars he smoked. Javanese Dutch I believe they were. Stank the place out. We used to tease him about them but he wouldn’t budge. Still, I think I miss them now.’ He continued quietly: ‘He’d been out of his depth in Chancery, he’s not their sort at all, and the ground floor didn’t have much time for him either in my opinion, but this place was just right.’ He inclined his head towards the closed door. ‘It’s like a shop in there, sometimes: you have the customers and you have one another. Johnny Slingo, Valerie… well, they took to him too and that’s all there is to it. They were all against him when he came, and they all took to him within a week, and that’s the truth of it. He’d got a way with him. I know what you’re thinking: it flattered my ego, I suppose you’d say. All right, it did. Everyone wants to be liked and he liked us. All right, I’m lonely; Myra’s a worry, I’ve failed as a parent and I never had a son; there was a bit of that about it too, I suppose, although there’s only ten years between us. Perhaps it’s him being little that makes the difference.’

‘Go for the girls, did he?’ Turner asked, more to break the uncomfortable silence than because he had been preparing questions in his mind.

‘Only banter.’

‘Ever hear of a woman called Aickman?’

‘No.’

‘Margaret Aickman. They were engaged to be married, her and Leo.’

‘No.’

Still they did not look at one another.

‘He liked the work too,’ Meadowes continued. ‘In those first weeks. I don’t think he’d ever realised till then how much he knew by comparison with the rest of us. About Germany, I mean, the soil of it.’

He broke off, remembering, and it might have been fifty years ago. ‘He knew that world too,’ he added. ‘He knew it inside out.’

‘What world?’

‘Post-war Germany. The Occupation; the years they don’t want to know about any more. He knew it like the back of his hand. “Arthur,” he said to me once, “I’ve seen these towns when they were car parks. I’ve heard these people talk when even their language was forbidden.” It used to knock him clean off course sometimes. I’d catch sight of him deep in a file, still as a mouse, just fascinated. Or he’d look away, look round the room, for someone with a moment to spare, just so he could tell them about something he’d come across: “Here,” he’d say. “See that? We disbanded that firm in 1947. Look at it now!” Other times, he’d go right off into a dream, and then you’d lost him altogether; he was on his own. I think it bothered him to know so much. It was queer. I think he almost felt guilty sometimes. He went on quite a lot about his memory. “You’re making me destroy my childhood,” he says one time – we were breaking up some files for the machine – “You’re making an old man of me.” I said, “If that’s what I’m doing you’re the luckiest man alive.” We had a good laugh about that.’

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