Agatha Christie – A Murder Is Announced

‘Use that fluff of yours you call a brain. To begin with, where was everybody when the lights went out?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Yes, you do. You’re maddening, Murgatroyd. You know where you were, don’t you? You were behind the door.’

‘Yes—yes, I was. It knocked against my corn when it flew open.’

‘Why don’t you go to a proper chiropodist instead of messing about yourself with your feet?. You’ll give yourself blood poisoning one of these days. Come on, now—you’re behind the door. I’m standing against the mantelpiece with my tongue hanging out for a drink. Letty Blacklock is by the table near the archway, getting the cigarettes. Patrick Simmons has gone through the archway into the small room where Letty Blacklock has had the drinks put. Agreed?’

‘Yes, yes, I remember all that.’

‘Good, now somebody else followed Patrick into that room or was just starting to follow him. One of the men. The annoying thing is that I can’t remember whether it was Easterbrook or Edmund Swettenham. Do you remember?’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘You wouldn’t! And there was someone else who went through to the small room: Phillipa Haymes. I remember that distinctly because I remember noticing what a nice flat back she has, and I thought to myself “that girl would look well on a horse.” I was watching her and thinking just that. She went over to the mantelpiece in the other room. I don’t know what it was she wanted there, because at that moment the lights went out.

‘So that’s the position. In the drawing-room are Patrick Simmons, Phillipa Haymes, and either Colonel Easterbrook or Edmund Swettenham—we don’t know which. Now, Murgatroyd, pay attention. The most probable thing is that it was one of those three who did it. If anyone wanted to get out of that far door, they’d naturally take care to put themselves in a convenient place when the lights went out. So, as I say, in all probability, it’s one of those three. And in that case, Murgatroyd, there’s not a thing you can do about it!’

Miss Murgatroyd brightened perceptibly.

‘On the other hand,’ continued Miss Hinchcliffe, ‘there’s the possibility that it wasn’t one of those three. And that’s where you come in, Murgatroyd.’

‘But how should I know anything about it?’

‘As I said before if you don’t nobody does.’

‘But I don’t! I really don’t! I couldn’t see anything at all!’

‘Oh, yes, you could. You’re the only person who could see. You were standing behind the door. You couldn’t look at the torch—because the door was between you and it. You were facing the other way, the same way as the torch was pointing. The rest of us were just dazzled. But you weren’t dazzled.’

‘No—no, perhaps not, but I didn’t see anything, the torch went round and round—’

‘Showing you what? It rested on faces, didn’t it? And on tables? And on chairs?’

‘Yes—yes, it did…Miss Bunner, her mouth wide open and her eyes popping out of her head, staring and blinking.’

‘That’s the stuff!’ Miss Hinchcliffe gave a sigh of relief. ‘The difficulty there is in making you use that grey fluff of yours! Now then, keep it up.’

‘But I didn’t see any more, I didn’t, really.’

‘You mean you saw an empty room? Nobody standing about? Nobody sitting down?’

‘No, of course not that. Miss Bunner with her mouth open and Mrs Harmon was sitting on the arm of a chair. She had her eyes tight shut and her knuckles all doubled up to her face—like a child.’

‘Good, that’s Mrs Harmon and Miss Bunner. Don’t you see yet what I’m getting at? The difficulty is that I don’t want to put ideas into your head. But when we’ve eliminated who you did see—we can get on to the important point which is, was there anyone you didn’t see. Got it? Besides the tables and the chairs and the chrysanthemums and the rest of it, there were certain people: Julia Simmons, Mrs Swettenham, Mrs Easterbrook—either Colonel Easterbrook or Edmund Swettenham—Dora Bunner and Bunch Harmon. All right, you saw Bunch Harmon and Dora Bunner. Cross them off. Now think, Murgatroyd, think, was there one of those people who definitely wasn’t there?’