so far as she was concerned, or if not that, he was far from
being alive to the import of this both to herself and to him.
And supposing this new treatment did not work, then what?
Was he going to stop now and let the thing rest there?
Yet so peculiar was Clyde’s nature that in the face of his
fears in regard to his future, and because it was far from
pleasant to be harried in this way and an infringement on
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his other interests, the assurance that the delay of a month
might not prove fatal was sufficient to cause him to be
willing to wait, and that rather indifferently, for that length of
time. Roberta might be wrong. She might be making all this
trouble for nothing. He must see how she felt after she had
tried this new way.
But the treatment failed. Despite the fact that in her distress
Roberta returned to the factory in order to weary herself,
until all the girls in the department assured her that she
must be ill—that she should not be working when she
looked and plainly felt so bad—still nothing came of it. And
the fact that Clyde could dream of falling back on the
assurance of the druggist that a first month’s lapse was of
no import only aggravated and frightened her the more.
The truth was that in this crisis he was as interesting an
illustration of the enormous handicaps imposed by
ignorance, youth, poverty and fear as one could have
found. Technically he did not even know the meaning of the
word “midwife,” or the nature of the services performed by
her. (And there were three here in Lycurgus at this time in
the foreign family section.) Again, he had been in Lycurgus
so short a time, and apart from the young society men and
Dillard whom he had cut, and the various department heads
at the factory, he knew no one—an occasional barber,
haberdasher, cigar dealer and the like, the majority of
whom, as he saw them, were either too dull or too ignorant
for his purpose.
One thing, however, which caused him to pause before
ever he decided to look up a physician was the problem of
who was to approach him and how. To go himself was
simply out of the question. In the first place, he looked too
much like Gilbert Griffiths, who was decidedly too well-
known here and for whom he might be mistaken. Next, it
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was unquestionable that, being as well-dressed as he was,
the physician would want to charge him more, maybe, than
he could afford and ask him all sorts of embarrassing
questions, whereas if it could be arranged through some
one else—the details explained before ever Roberta was
sent— Why not Roberta herself! Why not? She looked so
simple and innocent and unassuming and appealing at all
times. And in such a situation as this, as depressed and
downcast as she was, well … For after all, as he now
casuistically argued with himself, it was she and not he who
was facing the immediate problem which had to be solved.
And again, as it now came to him, would she not be able to
get it done cheaper? For looking as she did now, so distrait
— If only he could get her to say that she had been
deserted by some young man, whose name she would
refuse to divulge, of course, well, what physician seeing a
girl like her alone and in such a state—no one to look after
her—would refuse her? It might even be that he would help
her out for nothing. Who could tell? And that would leave
him clear of it all.
And in consequence he now approached Roberta,
intending to prepare her for the suggestion that, assuming
that he could provide a physician and the nature of his
position being what it was, she must speak for herself. But
before he had spoken she at once inquired of him as to
what, if anything, more he had heard or done. Wasn’t some
other remedy sold somewhere? And this giving him the
opportunity he desired, he explained: “Well, I’ve asked
around and looked into most of the drug-stores and they tell
me if this one won’t work that none will. That leaves me
sorta stumped now, unless you’re willing to go and see a
doctor. But the trouble with that is they’re hard to find—the
ones who’ll do anything and keep their mouths shut. I’ve
talked with several fellows without saying who it’s for, of
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571
course, but it ain’t so easy to get one around here, because
they are all too much afraid. It’s against the law, you see.
But what I want to know now is, supposing I find a doctor
who would do it, will you have the nerve to go and see him
and tell him what the trouble is? That’s what I want to
know.”
She looked at him dazedly, not quite grasping that he was
hinting that she was to go entirely alone, but rather
assuming that of course he meant to go with her. Then, her
mind concentrating nervously upon the necessity of facing a
doctor in his company, she first exclaimed: “Oh, dear, isn’t it
terrible to think of us having to go to a doctor in this way?
Then he’ll know all about us, won’t he? And besides it’s
dangerous, isn’t it, although I don’t suppose it could be
much worse than those old pills.” She went off into more
intimate inquiries as to what was done and how, but Clyde
could not enlighten her.
“Oh, don’t be getting nervous over that now,” he said. “It
isn’t anything that’s going to hurt you, I know. Besides we’ll
be lucky if we find some one to do it. What I want to know is
if I do find a doctor, will you be willing to go to him alone?”
She started as if struck, but unabashed now he went on,
“As things stand with me here, I can’t go with you, that’s
sure. I’m too well known around here, and besides I look
too much like Gilbert and he’s known to everybody. If I
should be mistaken for him, or be taken for his cousin or
relative, well, then the jig’s up.”
His eyes were not only an epitome of how wretched he
would feel were he exposed to all Lycurgus for what he
was, but also in them lurked a shadow of the shabby role
he was attempting to play in connection with her—in hiding
thus completely behind her necessity. And yet so tortured
was he by the fear of what was about to befall him in case
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572
he did not succeed in so doing, that he was now prepared,
whatever Roberta might think or say, to stand his ground.
But Roberta, sensing only the fact that he was thinking of
sending her alone, now exclaimed incredulously: “Not
alone, Clyde! Oh, no, I couldn’t do that! Oh, dear, no! Why,
I’d be frightened to death. Oh, dear, no. Why, I’d be so
frightened I wouldn’t know what to do. Just think how I’d
feel, trying to explain to him alone. I just couldn’t do that.
Besides, how would I know what to say—how to begin?
You’ll just have to go with me at first, that’s all, and explain,
or I never can go—I don’t care what happens.” Her eyes
were round and excited and her face, while registering all
the depression and fear that had recently been there, was
transfigured by definite opposition.
But Clyde was not to be shaken either.
“You know how it is with me here, Bert. I can’t go, and
that’s all there is to it. Why, supposing I were seen—
supposing some one should recognize me? What then?
You know how much I’ve been going around here since I’ve
been here. Why, it’s crazy to think that I could go. Besides,
it will be a lot easier for you than for me. No doctor’s going
to think anything much of your coming to him, especially if
you’re alone. He’ll just think you’re some one who’s got in
trouble and with no one to help you. But if I go, and it
should be any one who knows anything about the Griffiths,
there’d be the deuce to pay. Right off he’d think I was
stuffed with money. Besides, if I didn’t do just what he
wanted me to do afterwards, he could go to my uncle, or
my cousin, and then, good night! That would be the end of
me. And if I lost my place here now, and with no money and
that kind of scandal connected with me, where do you
suppose I would be after that, or you either? I certainly
couldn’t look after you then. And then what would you do? I