a thing you are thinking of doing, that you are actually
planning to destroy a young life that has as good a right to
its existence as you have to yours …” he paused in order to
let the substance of what he was saying sink in—“well,
then, I think you might feel called upon to stop and consider
—both you and your husband. Besides,” he added, in a
diplomatic and more fatherly and even intriguing tone of
voice, “I think that once you have it it will more than make
up to you both for whatever little hardship its coming will
bring you. Tell me,” he added curiously at this point, “does
your husband know of this? Or is this just some plan of
yours to save him and yourself from too much hardship?”
He almost beamed cheerfully as, fancying he had captured
Roberta in some purely nervous and feminine economy as
well as dread, he decided that if so he could easily extract
her from her present mood. And she, sensing his present
drift and feeling that one lie more or less could neither help
nor harm her, replied quickly: “He knows.”
“Well, then,” he went on, slightly reduced by the fact that his
surmise was incorrect, but none the less resolved to
dissuade her and him, too: “I think you two should really
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consider very seriously before you go further in this matter. I
know when young people first face a situation like this they
always look on the darkest side of it, but it doesn’t always
work out that way. I know my wife and I did with our first
child. But we got along. And if you will only stop now and
talk it over, you’ll see it in a different light, I’m sure. And
then you won’t have your conscience to deal with
afterwards, either.” He ceased, feeling reasonably sure that
he had dispelled the fear, as well as the determination that
had brought Roberta to him—that, being a sensible,
ordinary wife, she would now desist of course—think
nothing more of her plan and leave.
But instead of either acquiescing cheerfully or rising to go,
as he thought she might, she gave him a wide-eyed terrified
look and then as instantly burst into tears. For the total
effect of his address had been to first revive more clearly
than ever the normal social or conventional aspect of the
situation which all along she was attempting to shut out
from her thoughts and which, under ordinary
circumstances, assuming that she was really married, was
exactly the attitude she would have taken. But now the
realization that her problem was not to be solved at all, by
this man at least, caused her to be seized with what might
best be described as morbid panic.
Suddenly beginning to open and shut her fingers and at the
same time beating her knees, while her face contorted itself
with pain and terror, she exclaimed: “But you don’t
understand, doctor, you don’t understand! I have to get out
of this in some way! I have to. It isn’t like I told you at all. I’m
not married. I haven’t any husband at all. But, oh, you don’t
know what this means to me. My family! My father! My
mother! I can’t tell you. But I must get out of it. I must! I
must! Oh, you don’t know, you don’t know! I must! I must!”
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She began to rock backward and forward, at the same time
swaying from side to side as in a trance.
And Glenn, surprised and startled by this sudden
demonstration as well as emotionally affected, and yet at
the same time advised thereby that his original surmise had
been correct, and hence that Roberta had. been lying, as
well as that if he wished to keep himself out of this he must
now assume a firm and even heartless attitude, asked
solemnly: “You are not married, you say?”
For answer now Roberta merely shook her head negatively
and continued to cry. And at last gathering the full import of
her situation, Dr. Glenn got up, his face a study of troubled
and yet conservative caution and sympathy. But without
saying anything at first he merely looked at her as she
wept. Later he added: “Well, well, this is too bad. I’m sorry.”
But fearing to commit himself in any way, he merely
paused, adding after a time soothingly and dubiously: “You
mustn’t cry. That won’t help you any.” He then paused
again, still determined not to have anything to do with this
case. Yet a bit curious as to the true nature of the story he
finally asked: “Well, then where is the young man who is
the cause of your trouble? Is he here?”
Still too overcome by shame and despair to speak, Roberta
merely shook her head negatively.
“But he knows that you’re in trouble, doesn’t he?”
“Yes,” replied Roberta faintly.
“And he won’t marry you?”
“He’s gone away.”
“Oh, I see. The young scamp! And don’t you know where
he’s gone?”
“No,” lied Roberta, weakly.
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“How long has it been since he left you?”
“About a week now.” Once more she lied.
“And you don’t know where he is?”
“No.”
“How long has it been since you were sick?”
“Over two weeks now,” sobbed Roberta.
“And before that you have always been regular?”
“Yes.”
“Well, in the first place,” his tone was more comfortable and
pleasant than before—he seemed to be snatching at a
plausible excuse for extricating himself from a case which
promised little other than danger and difficulty, “this may not
be as serious as you think. I know you’re probably very
much frightened, but it’s not unusual for women to miss a
period. At any rate, without an examination it wouldn’t be
possible to be sure, and even if you were, the most
advisable thing would be to wait another two weeks. You
may find then that there is nothing wrong. I wouldn’t be
surprised if you did. You seem to be oversensitive and
nervous and that sometimes brings about delays of this kind
—mere nervousness. At any rate, if you’ll take my advice,
whatever you do, you’ll not do anything now but just go
home and wait until you’re really sure. For even if anything
were to be done, it wouldn’t be advisable for you to do
anything before then.”
“But I’ve already taken some pills and they haven’t helped
me,” pleaded Roberta.
“What were they?” asked Glenn interestedly, and, after he
had learned, merely commented: “Oh, those. Well, they
wouldn’t be likely to be of any real service to you, if you
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were pregnant. But I still suggest that you wait, and if you
find you pass your second period, then it will be time
enough to act, although I earnestly advise you, even then,
to do nothing if you can help it, because I consider it wrong
to interfere with nature in this way. It would be much better,
if you would arrange to have the child and take care of it.
Then you wouldn’t have the additional sin of destroying a
life upon your conscience.”
He was very grave and felt very righteous as he said this.
But Roberta, faced by terrors which he did not appear to be
able to grasp, merely exclaimed, and as dramatically as
before: “But I can’t do that, doctor, I tell you! I can’t. I can’t!
You don’t understand. Oh, I don’t know what I shall do
unless I find some way out of this. I don’t! I don’t! I don’t!”
She shook her head and clenched her fingers and rocked
to and fro while Glenn, impressed by her own terrors, the
pity of the folly which, as he saw it, had led her to this
dreadful pass, yet professionally alienated by a type of case
that spelled nothing but difficulty for him stood determinedly
before her and added: “As I told you before, Miss—” (he
paused) “Howard, if that is your name, I am seriously
opposed to operations of this kind, just as I am to the folly
that brings girls and young men to the point where they
seem to think they are necessary. A physician may not
interfere in a case of this kind unless he is willing to spend
ten years in prison, and I think that law is fair enough. Not
that I don’t realize how painful your present situation
appears to you. But there are always those who are willing
to help a girl in your state, providing she doesn’t wish to do
something which is morally and legally wrong. And so the
very best advice I can give you now is that you do nothing
at all now or at any time. Better go home and see your
parents and confess. It will be much better—much better, I