“Aye.” Caitlin squared her shoulders against the weight upon her. “Our best bet is to seek onward.” She laughed shakenly. “We’ve seen this much of what the universe holds. Ho for the next world!”
Dozsa bit his lip. “If possible,” he said. “We’re still out of touch with Chinook. We’ll have to fight our way alone, unguided, up to clear space.”
Caitlin cast regret from her. “Go, lad, go,” she urged. “You’ll make it.
We’ll yet be seeing wonders more lofty than here.”
XXIX
I was a chimpanzee, born where forest met savannah. My earliest memory was of my mother holding me to her. The warmth and odors of her flesh mingled with the sharper fragrances of hair, and with the smells of soil and growth everywhere around us. Leaves glowed green-gold overhead, sunbeams slanting between them to fleck the ground whereon she sat. My lips sought through her crisp shagginess until they found a teat and gladdened me with belly comfort.
Later I ran free and noisy in the band, save when an elder bared teeth.
Then one cringed respectfully back. The Eldest, He was like the sky over us all, which sent rain and sunlight alike, and sometimes roared and flashed till we squalled in terror: for He did lead us to safe trees and delicious fruits, He did lead us in that grimacing, howling threat-dance which made the leopard slink off.
I learned where to find bananas and birds’ nests, insects and grubs.
Later I learned how to moisten a stick and probe it into the anthills which loomed under the savannah blaze. I began to stand my share of lookout while we drank at the river. Further grown, I became the only female who joined our occasional hunts, when we went after a small animal, caught it, tore it asunder, grew wild from its meat and salty blood and crunchy bones. A craziness more pure Side 123
Anderson, Poul – Avatar, The was to spring, swing, soar from branch to branch, become speed and air, clasp and let go the tree as a lover.
The first who mounted me was He. His grip was python-strong, He growled and thrust, the scent of Him whirled me away. But afterward when my seasons came upon me, I liked best another among the males, the gentlest. We would groom and nuzzle through long, lazy, lovely whiles, or sit hand in hand on a bough looking out over the moon-white plain.
There was everything to wonder at, sun, weather, a butterfly, elephants, lion roar, flower aromas, the creatures that came in bright shells and stepped forth on two long legs, the distant twinkle of the fires they made at dusk… We peered, prodded, snuffed, nibbled, listened, hooted our merriment or chattered our anger or mutely marveled.
Greatest of wonders was whenever my waxing heaviness departed in pain and left a baby to cling to me. It would grow up and leave me at last, or it would grow still and I would carry it around, hurt, puzzled, till it turned strange; but always would come new babies, new love.
Once the male I liked best wanted me when He did too, and defied. But he was soon thrashed and, groveling, offered his rear. It was a different male who at last brought Him down and became He. A later morning, when we stirred awake, we found the body which had so long dominated us lying at the edge of our glade.
A breeze played with its grizzled fur. The ants were busy. The vultures came. We went away, for somehow fear had touched us.
After a crocodile got my special mate, I drifted into a different band.
Rank by rank, I rose to be first among its females. We ordered ourselves in less clear and less conscious wise than the males, but we knew who ruled over whom.
Indeed, now in my ripeness I had no more dread of them, from Him on down. They came and went on their foolish errands; we endured; and the band was really ours
– was mine. I took the choicest food and resting places among females, but I also often kept watch over children, not just my own, and herded them back from danger.