Anderson, Poul – Avatar. Part five

Both heads snapped that way.

“Listen.” Brodersen’s tones came raw, gulped forth, as if he was weeping. “Message from Williwaw. They, they, they’re okay. Bound back to us.

Arriving in two-three hours. They didn’t find any help for us, but… they’re alive! Well! They’re coming back!”

“Ya-a-a-ah!” Frieda screamed, and grabbed Leino’s whole body against hers. He floated like a rag doll, mouth working. Between sounds she did not know, she heard: “Lord, I thank.

Christ, I thank…”

After a few minutes Brodersen made a calmer announcement. Joelle could talk the boat home, and he personally would handle the chores of docking.

Everybody else might as well sleep. The three from Williwaw would certainly be needing to. In about twelve hours, or however long it took, there’d be breakfast call, followed by a general debriefing. Then probably Chinook would boost back to the T machine for another jump. That would take more than an Earth day.

Meanwhile they could throw a proper wingding to celebrate. “Good night. A real good night, ain’t it? A real good night.”

(Chinook entered the shadow cone of Danu, and half of heaven was blotted out.)

“We celebrate right away,” Frieda laughed, and kissed Leino.

He jerked back. “What do you mean?”

She widened her china-blue eyes. “Why, what do you suppose, luffer? We are both glad.”

He thrust clear of her. Floating off, he held denying palms in her direction. “No. Not right. I will thank the Lord.”

“Oh, yes. Afterward-”

“Get out!” he yelled. “You slut!” He struggled. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. But- well- please go, Frieda. You mean well, but please go.”

She regarded him for several seconds, and went.

Brodersen had restlessness to work off. (Pegeen, Pegeen.) Usually at such times he did exercises, but that would now have been intolerable. Therefore he made a tour of inspection. Everything was in order, he knew it would be, but the gesture helped him, gave him a sense he was doing what he could for the worldlet that would most likely be his and Caitlin’s till they died. Not that he was its God – Judas priest, no! (The juxtaposition tugged a brief smile from him.) He merely needed to give whatever he was able.

Goodbye, Lis, he thought as he flew down silent corridors.

Goodbye, Mikey, boy. You ought to do all right, and you may not even remember me. Goodbye, Barbara, dear darling. You may… Why do I worry most about you, Babsy? You’ll grow to be like your mother, a free-standing woman who can shove the world up its own south pole if it dares to threaten you.

I’ll miss you, my kids. I really don’t want you to miss me, but it’d be Side 125

Anderson, Poul – Avatar, The nice to believe you’ll remember me kindly.

He rounded a corner, catching the metal to swing himself about. Lis- God damn it, Lis, I love you!

I love you too, Pegeen, and how the hell can I measure between the two of you, and why should I? Lis sits forsaken; but she can have another man if she wants, or men, and live out a long and full life. Pegeen is here; but chances are she’ll die young in space along with the rest of us, and I’m not worth that.

Brodersen mustered a grin. I do not feel guilty. I was in a war, and this was how things worked out, and if I made mistakes, the opposition did too.

It’s a shame what’s happened, but Lis and Pegeen both would whop me in the chops if 1 started whining about it. They’d tell me just to keep on trying.

Triumphantly went through him: Pegeen’s alive. I’ll see her again in a couple of hours.

The broad door to the common room appeared. He knew no reason to check inside, but did anyway. As he passed through, he heard sobbing.

He snagged a table whereon miscellaneous games were played, felt the reaction surge through his muscles, and hung anchored by his fingers. The viewscreens showed a total eclipse. Danu – which Caitlin had named – stood monstrous, not quite black but mysteriously ashimmer and ringed in crimson, while elsewhere the stars blazed and a visible pair of sickle moons went by.

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