Anderson, Poul – Avatar. Part four

“Good day,” said a new voice.

Fidelio had no need to see who spoke. Caitlin did. Joelle Ky stood in the main doorway.

“Oh, good day, señora!” Caitlin made haste to give her a soft salute.

Side 99

Anderson, Poul – Avatar, The

“Can I be doing anything for you?”

“No. I happened by.” The holothete held her lean form as rigid as her tone.

“We were starting a chat-”

“This is the first member of this crew with whom I can freely talk,”

Fidelio explained.

“Won’t you join us, Dr. Ky?” Caitlin asked timidly.

“No,” the other woman said. Her countenance was likewise frozen. “What could I contribute? Do carry on, Senorita Muiryan. Dinner can wait. No doubt it’s more important to widen Fidelio’s experience of… humanity.” She strode from sight.

Caitlin stared at the space where she had been. The Betan’s query jerked her attention back to him: “Is there conflict between you two?”

“No. I never- that is-” CaitlIn drew breath. “After all, we have barely met, she and I. Of course, I knew about her, and was in awe, and hoped-” She half sighed, half shuddered, then squared her shoulders. “A conflict is possible anyhow,” she admitted. “Captain Brodersen has told me a few things. She may resent my closeness to him. But I’m sure this is completely foreign to you.”

Did Fidelio hunch over, as if defensive? “Have you not understood? We want this kind of thing not to be foreign to us.”

“Well, yes-” Caitlin stammered. “I suppose- I’ve heard- It’s stunningly strange, but-” Tears glimmered forth, though they did not go past her lashes.

“What you hoped would be an opening to love has become one to hatred and dread.

Oh, my poor dear!”

She rallied. “We’re bound for what’s better,” she said. “Dan Brodersen will see to that. Meanwhile, it would be wise if you come to know humans besides the few who went to your planet. We do differ very much. Surely some among us can help you. Also, getting acquainted will lift everyone’s minds off the loss we’ve suffered and the desperate action a few days hence.” Again she took hold of him, this time by the hands, since he had reached those out. “Let me be your guide. I can interpret, yes, and arrange small get-togethers and try to keep things cheery. We all need that.”

“Many thanks,” he replied. “You are kind.”

Still he stood bent, and his words came mechanical. Caitlin observed him closely, against the unpitying stars. “You were glad for a moment,” she murmured at last, “but that has fled you.”

He made a noise that might correspond to a sigh. “It is nothing you can do anything about, senorita. And, if we win free, it will soon be cured.”

“Do you care to tell me what?”

“I am a holothete, like Joelle Ky, and long out of the . . . the state of communion. You have heard it becomes vital to us, or at least to our happiness.” Fidelio lifted his head. “No matter. It is no worse for me than for her.”

“But you are among aliens!” Caitlin cried. “And we have the equipment aboard, but it could not fit you, could it? Why, you must be miserable!”

She flung herself against the massive, warm body and hugged him. He touched her in shy response.

“Listen, Fidelio,” she said when they separated, “you’ve the spirit to see brooding is useless. You can set your trouble aside for a bit. You were doing so when we got interrupted. Let’s go back to where we were then. Music.

You’d like to hear our songs, and I’d be overjoyed to hear yours.” Briskly: “Now I must prepare the food, but there’s no reason why we can’t be singing the while.”

He stirred, straightening. Life returned to his voice. “Yes, please, let us. Could I assist you in your work?”

For the first time since they left the Wheel, she laughed.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Oh… thank you… Maybe you could carry a few things. But I was remembering a primitive cottage in Ireland, and seeing you at the kitchen sink wielding a dish towel.”

As if a weight had fallen off her, Caitlin danced toward the galley.

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