He beat fist in palm. “I can’t stop loving you, Caitlin.”
“No, if there has not been terrible rancor, we never really fall out of love, we humans, do we? But old fires burn gentler as new fires kindle. Were we home, you’d soon be happily courting a lass quite unlike me. I dare believe I’ve proved to you she can be both alive and decent, and that would be what you’d most kindly remember me for.
“But, Martti,” she said, a spoken caress, “a steady woman is what you want for the rest of your days, a partner, a tree for your house to stand beneath. Like Lis; like your mother, I’m sure. I must help you escape getting fixed on me. That will happen, if our search lasts for many months, unless we both take care and forethought. Then you’d be ruined for the family man your nature intends you to be. I’m never for you, unless as a friend who chances to be of the opposite sex. I’m a rover.”
“Oh, I’ve pretty well overcome jealousy about, I think-”
She smiled, “That’s not the main thing I meant, my honey. I’ve restless feet. Dan himself can’t hold me in Eopolis. You want a wife, not a vagrant mistress.” She swung her legs over the bedside. “Martti, I know full well we can’t neatly solve our problems in an hour’s talk. We’ll need patience and reflection and caring.” She stood up. “First and foremost, we should become friends – relax – stamp on any growth of melodrama between us, but nurture any shoot of comedy that springs up – for it’s comic animals we humans are, is that not so?
“We’ve most of a bottle of whisky left, I seem to recall.”
When they were lounging back, a trifle drunk, at enough ease that they could joke, she strummed her sonador and remarked, “Aye, I’d not be kicking you out, not while we travel on, have no fear. That would be a shameful waste of an excellent talent. You must simply realize I am a wanderer born… Do you remember you teased me about my ‘Outbound Song’ being in a man’s mouth, the which it is not, and I said I’d fix you in my next? Well, I’ve made my next, exactly for you.”
The associations of the evening to which she referred no longer pained him. “Go on,” he invited.
She grinned and began.
I’m off in space on an endless chase.
No single world can bind me.
As I boost along, I’ll sing a song
Of the lad I left behind me,
The trustiest lad, the lustiest lad,
The lad I left behind me.
Oh, he was a prize, the starry skies
Will forevermore remind me.
Aye, he was fair to see, and it’s rare
To meet a soul so cheery,
Though he was not tame, but kissed like flame And I could not make him weary.
Each time I felt bad, I’d seek out my lad
To get him to unwind me.
I would purr and pounce, and soon we’d bounce, Side 160
Anderson, Poul – Avatar, The All the while his arms entwined me.
We said goodbye on a day when I
Confess a little weeping,
And although it’s best to go a-quest,
I have often trouble sleeping.
And so, my good sir, you may well infer
I cherish hopes I’ll find me
Only one or two, including you,
Like the lad I left behind me.
Nightwatch.
“You are unhappy, Dan,” Frieda said.
“Huh? No, no, why should I be, after the workout we’ve had?” Brodersen pushed his arm against her. She arched her back and he got a clasp around her waist. “My mind just drifted. Sorry.”
“It drifted far, and into no good place. The way your mouth drooped, and that tiny line between your brows-” She brushed fingertips over the creases in his countenance. Concern paled the blue of her eyes.
He attempted a smile. “Well, I am the Old Man, you know. Worry about the ship is an occupational disease. Help me slough it off.”
The blond head shook. “That isn’t the matter. You are tough and practical; to brood is not in your nature. Therefore when you fall into it, you are defenseless.”