“Well-I-”
“On your way, lad.”
Sean stood up. He was shaking, ever so faintly. He turned and walked stiff-legged from the gathering. Nobody looked after him.
There was silence, wind and surf and the high crying of the birds.
Ferenezi said, “Itll only be us here who make the break, eh?”
“Yeah. A bigger bunch would-be risky. We can take the
ship back to Nerthus. Hard work and short rations, but we can do it.”
“I was thinking about the others. They’ll be hostages here.”
“I asked ‘Lo about that, and what she said bore out my own bunch. The Alori don’t do things without a purpose. They won’t mistreat our people when they’ve already lost the game.” Joachim got to his feet, stretching. “Any more questions? If not, the meetidg’s adjourned until we know better where we stand. Avoid the natives, all of you. They’ll sense your excitement. Let’s get up a snappy game of volleyball to calm us down,”
Trevelyan stood with his arm about Nicki, looking over the beach. A few hundred meters off, joachim’s ball game got under way.
“What are vou thinking of, Micah?”
He smiled. “You,” he said. “And your people.”
“What of us?”
“You know the Service doesn’t like the Nomads. They’re a disrupting influence on an already unstable civilization. But I’m beginning to think that a healthy culture needs such a devil.”
“Are we so bad, we starjumpers?”
“No, you aren’t that either. You aren’t unnecessarily cruel to anyone. You have brought as much good as evil to the planets you visited, I think.”
His lips brushed her hair, and he caught the faint wild fragrance of it. “I’ll have to report back home,” he said, “and you’d like to visit Sol anyway. But after that-Nicki, I’m not sure yet, but I think I’ll turn Nomad myself.”
“Micah!-Oh, mv dearest!” She held Mm desperately close.
“Peregrine Trevelyan,” be murmured, as his mind raced on. This was his ansaer. The integrators would have to give a final verdict, but he believed be had found the way. Pure Nomad? No-but with his abilities, be would evetituallv become a power among the ships and influence what they did. And other Coordinators would be adopted, too.
They would give Nomad life a direction and a restraint it lacked and needed, quietly, without disrupting its spirit.
Scan walked down the beach until he was alone between the forest and the sea. He climbed a dune, and stood looking out over the huge sweep of loneliness. Grass grew thin and harsh here, cutting at Ms bare legs. He shaded his eyes with one hand, looking at the shoreward march of grass where it blended into meadow and woods.
She came to him, walking timidly out of the forest. A few hundred meters away she paused, tensed for flight as if he had a gun. He stood watching her, his hands hanging
empty. She ran.
He held her close to him, murmuring wordlessly, stroldng the wind-whipped hair and the fine blue-veined skin, and let her weep herself out. Only then did he kiss her with an ovenvhelming gentleness. “Ilaloa,” he whispered. “I love
you, Ilaloa.”
Her eyes were blind and wild, staring up at him. “You cannot remain here? You must go?”
“We must go,” he said.
She looked away. “These are my people.”
“It’s not as if they would be harmed,” he told her. “I have my people too. And they’re yours as well.”
‘I could be treated. I could be healed of you.” He let her go. “Then do it,’ he said bitterly. “No.” Her lips were parted wide, as if she could@t breathe. “No, that would be against life, too. I cannot.” “Is your life so much better than ours that it has to destroy us?” he asked.
“No.” She laced her fingers together, twisting them around each other. “I think you are right, Sean. This is a dark and empty world-universe-we have to find what warmth we
can.
Sh ‘ e straightened and faced him. Suddenly her tones were clear. “I will help you if I am able.”
CHAPTER XX
Again the Stars
TWO NIGHTS later a gale blew from the southeast, out of the sea and over the island and out to the water again. Trevelyan beard it whistle as if it were calling him. He looked at Nicki, and she was very close and dear in the warm yellow light of his home.