“ ‘Kay, Mommy.”
Harper sat on her mother’s lap, still in her pajamas, nestled in the folds of an old throw Bennett had wrapped about them both. Bennett still wore last night’s clothes, and her face was haggard and pale.
“ ‘Cause Mommy would feel so bad if anything happened to her baby girl. You know that, Harper?” Bennett hugged her. “Mommy just wants to keep you safe always.”
“Owee, Mommy,” Harper complained, as her mother squeezed too tightly.
“Sorry, sweetie.” Bennett rumpled her hair. “Hey, look, the sun’s coming up! Look, Harper! It’s all gold and red and lavender and pink! Look at all the pretty colors!”
They shifted on the couch, turning to look east out the window where the sun’s early light was just cresting the tree-line of the park. Nest watched in silence as Bennett drew Harper’s small body close to her own and pointed.
“You know what that is, Harper?” she asked softly. “Remember what I told you? That’s angel fire. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Bootiful.”
“Remember what Mommy told you about angel fire? At the beginning of every day, the angels go all over the world and gather up a little bit of the love that mommies have for their babies. They take bits and pieces, just scraps of it really, because mommies need most of it for themselves, to keep their babies safe. But the angels gather as much as they can, and they bring it all together, before anyone’s awake, and they use it to make the sunrise. Sometimes it’s really bright and full of colors, like today, because there is more love to spare than usual. But there is always enough to make a sunrise, enough to begin a new day.”
She went silent then, lowering her head into Harper’s thick hair. Nest slipped past them down the hall to her bedroom. Once inside, she stripped off her running clothes and went into the bathroom. She took a long shower, washed her hair, dressed, and put on makeup, wondering all the while what she was going to say to Bennett. Maybe nothing, she kept thinking. Maybe it was better to just leave things alone.
She was just about to go out and start breakfast when she noticed the message light blinking on her answer machine.
There was one message.
“Hi. It’s Paul. I thought I might catch you in, but I guess you’re already up and about. Or maybe sleeping, but I bet not. Not you. Anyway, I just wanted to say ‘Hi’ or maybe ‘Merry Christmas.’ I’ve been thinking about you lately. Haven’t talked with you for a while, so I decided to call. Hope you’re doing okay. Anyway, I’ll try again later. Bye.”
The machine offered its programmed choices, delete, save, or replay, and she hung up. She stared at the phone, still sitting on the bed. She hadn’t heard from Paul in months. Why was he calling her now? Maybe he just wanted to talk, like he said. Maybe it was something else. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
She went out of her bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen. She was pulling out pots and pans and cooking utensils, trying to decide on a breakfast menu, when Bennett came in and took a seat at the old kitchen table.
Nest glanced over. “Morning.”
“Morning,” Bennett replied, holding her gaze only a moment before her eyes slid away. She looked a wreck, much worse than Nest had thought earlier. “Can I do something?”
Nest saw Harper playing alone in the living room, content for the moment. “Make yourself some coffee, why don’t you?”
Bennett rose and walked over to the machine. She was pulling down the box of filters and opening the coffee tin when her hands began to shake. She couldn’t seem to stop them, but continued to try to set the filter in place in the machine, dropping it to the floor in the process.
Nest walked over and took her hands, holding them firmly in her own. “Nobody said this was going to be easy.”
Bennett’s face turned sullen and stiff. “I’m all right. Leave me alone.”
“Where were you last night, Bennett?”
“Out, Nest. Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just leave me alone!”