Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

“Yes, I’m sure I’m doing it right, just like I’ve been sure the last fifty times I did it!”

He was starting to sound annoyed.

“Can you….”

“Look, kid. If I knew what was wrong, I’d have fixed it already. Now, just shut up and let me think!”

He sank down to sit cross-legged in the center of the pentagram where he began sketching vague patterns in the floor as he mumbled darkly to himself. I wasn’t sure if he was trying some alternate incantation or was simply thinking hard, but decided it would be unwise to ask. Instead, I used the time to organize my scrambled thoughts.

I still wasn’t sure if Aahz was a threat to me or if he was my only possible salvation from a greater threat. I mean, by this time I was pretty sure he was kidding about ripping my heart out, but that’s the sort of thing one wants to be very sure of. One thing I had learned for certain, there was more to this magik stuff than floating feathers around.

“That’s got to be it!”

Aahz was on his feet again, glaring at Garkin’s body.

“That ill-begot son of a wombat!”

“What’s a wombat?” I asked, then immediately wished I hadn’t. The mental image that sprang into my mind was so horrifying I was sure I didn’t want details. I needn’t have worried. Aahz was not about to take time to answer me.

“Well, it’s a pretty crummy joke. That’s all I have to say.”

“Um…. What are you talking about, Aahz?”

“I’m talking about Garkin! He did this to me. If I thought it would go this far, I would have turned him into a goat-fish when I had the chance.”

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