Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

The innkeeper had arrived, clinking the two flagons of wine down on the table in a lackluster manner.

“About time!” Aahz commented, seizing a flagon in each hand and immediately draining one. “Aren’t you going to have anything, kid?”

A toss of his head and the second flagon was gone.

“While my friend here makes up his mind, bring me two more . . . and make them decent sizes this time if you have to use a bucket!”

The innkeep retreated, visibly shaken. I wasn’t. I had already witnessed Aahz’s capacity for alcohol, astounding in an era noted for heavy drinkers. What did vex me a bit was that the man had departed without taking my order.

I did eventually get my flagon of wine, only to find my stomach was too nervous to readily accept it. As a result, I wound up sipping it slowly. Not so Aahz. He continued to belt them down at an alarming rate. For quite some time he drank. In fact, we sat for nearly an hour, and there was still no sign of the couple who had entered the shop.

Finally, even Aahz began to grow impatient.

“I wonder what’s taking them so long,” he grumbled.

“Maybe they’re having trouble making up their mind,” I suggested.

“C’mon, kid. The shop’s not that big. He can’t have too large a selection.”

He downed the last of his wine and stood up.

“We’ve waited long enough,” he declared. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“But what about the couple?” I reminded him.

“We’ll just have to inspire them to conclude their business with a bit more speed.”

That had a vaguely ominous ring to it, and Aahz’s toothy grin was additional evidence that something unpleasant was about to happen.

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