“Well, I don’t either. That’s true. But now for the First time we know what the empties are for, and if my bright idea works, I’ll write a monograph. I’ll dedicate it to you personally: To Redrick Schuhart, honored stalker, with respect and gratitude.”
“And they’ll put me away for two years.”
“But you’ll go down in science. That’s what they’ll call it, ‘Schuhart’s jar.’ Like the sound of it?”
While we were bulling, I dressed. put the empty Bask in my pocket, counted my money, and left.
“Good luck, you complicated soul.”
He didn’t answer. The water was making a lot of noise.
There was Tender in person in the corridor. Red and puffed up like a turkey. Surrounded by coworkers, reporters, and 3 couple of sergeants (fresh from eating and picking their teeth), he was babbling on and on. “The technology that we command,” he blathered, “al-most completely guarantees success and safety.” Then he saw me and dried up a bit. He smiled and made little waving motions with his hand. Well, I’d better split, I thought. I made for the door, but they caught me. I heard footsteps behind me.
“Mr. Schuhart! Mr. Schuhart! A few words about the garage!”
“No comment.” I broke into a run. But there was no getting away.
There was one with a mike on my right, and another with a camera on my left.
“Did you see anything strange in the garage. Just two words!”
“No comment!” I said, trying to keep the back of my head to the camera. “It’s just a garage.”
“Thank you. How do you feel about turboplatforms?”
“Most wonderful.” I started edging toward the john.
“What do you think about the Visitation?”
“Ask the scientists,” I said, and slid behind the bathroom door.
I could hear them scratching at the door. So I called out: “I heartily recommend that you ask Mr. Tender how his nose came to look like a beet. He’s too modest to bring it up, but that was our most interesting adventure there.”
They shot down the corridor. Faster than racehorses. I waited a minute. Silence. Stuck out my head. Nobody. And I went on my way, whistling a tune. I went down to the lobby, showed my pass to the bean-pole sergeant, and saw that he was saluting me. I guess I was the hero of the day.
“At ease, sergeant,” said. “I’m pleased.”
He showed so many teeth, you’d think I was flattering him beyond all reason.
“Well, Red, you sure are a hero. I’m proud to know you,” he said.
“So now you’ll have something to tell the girls about back in Sweden?”
“You bet! They’ll just melt in my arms!”
I guess he’s right. To tell the truth, I don’t like guys who are that tall and rosy-cheeked. Women go nuts over them, and I don’t know why. Height is not the important thing. I was walking down the street and thinking along these lines. The sun was shining and there was no one around. And suddenly I wanted to sec Guta right then and there. just like that. To look at her and hold her hand a while. After the Zone that’s about all you can manage—to hold hands. Especially when you think of those stories about what stalkers’ children turn out like…. Who needs Guta now? What I really needed was a bottle, at least a bottle, of the hard stuff.
I went past the parking lot. There was a checkpoint there. There were two patrol cars in all their glory—low-slung and yellow, armed with searchlights and machine guns, the toads. And of course, the cops had blue helmets, too. They were blocking the whole street. There was no way to get through. I kept walking with my eyes lowered, because it would be better for me not to see them right now. Not in daylight. There’s two or three characters there that I’m afraid to recognize, because if I do, that’ll be the end of them. It was a good thing for them that Kirill lured me into working for the institute. Otherwise, by God, I would have found the snakes and finished them off.
I shouldered my way through the crowd, I was almost past it when I heard someone shout “Hey, stalker!” Well, that had nothing to do with me, so I went on, rummaging for a cigarette in my pocket. Someone caught up with me and took me by the sleeve. I shook off the hand and half turned toward the man and said politely:
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, mister?”
“Hold it, stalker,” he said. “Just two questions.
I looked up at him. It was Captain Quarterblad. An old friend. He was all dried up and kind of yellow.
“Ah, greetings, captain. How’s the liver?”
“Don’t try to talk your way out of this, stalker.” He was angry and his eyes bored into me. “You’d be better off telling me why you don’t stop immediately when you’re called.”
And right behind him were two blue helmets, hands on holsters. You couldn’t see their eyes, just their jaws working under the helmets. Where in Canada do they find these guys? Have they been sent out here to breed? In general I have no fear of the patrol guards in daytime, but they could search me, the toads, and I wasn’t too crazy about the idea just then.
“Were you calling me, captain?” I said. “You were calling some stalker.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you’re not a stalker?”
“Once the time I spent thanks to you was over, I went straight. Quit stalking. Thanks to you, captain, my eyes were opened. If it hadn’t been for you….
“What were you doing in the Prezone Area?”
“What do you mean, what? I work there. Two years now.
To bring the unpleasant conversation to a close, I showed Captain Quarterblad my papers. He took my hook and examined it page by page, sniffing and smelling every stamp and seal on it. He returned the book and I could see how pleased he was. His eyes lit up and there was color in his cheeks.
“Forgive me, Schuhart,” he said. “I didn’t expect it of you. I’m glad to see that my advice wasn’t wasted on you. Why, that’s marvelous. You can believe me or not, but even back then I knew that you would turn out all right. I just couldn’t believe that a fellow like you….” He went on and on like a record. Looked like I had saddled myself with another cured melancholic. Of course, I listened, eyes lowered modestly, nodding, spreading my arms innocently, and if I recall, shyly scuffing the sidewalk with my foot. The gorillas behind the captain’s back listened a bit, and then got bored and went off some place more exciting. Meanwhile the captain was painting glorious vistas for my future: education was the light, ignorance was darkness, and the Lord loves and appreciates honest labor, and so on and so forth. He was slinging the same bull the priest used to give us in prison every Sunday. And I really needed a drink—toy thirst wouldn’t wait. All right, I thought to myself, Red, you can put up with this too. You have to, so be patient. He can’t keep it up for much longer Look, he’s losing his breath al ready. A lucky break. One of the patrol cars started signaling. Captain Quarterblad looked around, heaved a sigh of dismay, and gave me his hand.
“Well, I’m glad I met you, Honest Mr. Schuhart. I would have been happy to drink to this acquaintance. I can’t have whiskey, doctor’s orders, but I would have enjoyed a beer. But, duty calls. We’ll meet again,” he said. God forbid. But I shook his hand and blushed and shuffled my feet, just like he wanted me to. He finally left me and I headed swift as an arrow for the Borscht.
It’s always empty that time of day in the Borscht. Ernest was behind tile bar, wiping glasses, and holding them up to the light. It’s amazing, by the way, that whenever you come in, bartenders are always wiping glasses, as though their salvation depended on it or something. He’ll just stand there all day—pick up a glass, squint at it, hold it up to the light, breathe on it, and start rubbing. He’ll rub and rub, look it over again (this time from the bottom) and then rub some more.
“Hi, Ernie! Leave the poor thing alone. You’ll rub a hole through it.”
He looked at me through the glass, muttered something indistinct and without a further word poured me four fingers of vodka. I climbed up on a stool, took a sip, made a face, shook my head, and had another sip. The refrigerator was humming, the jukebox was playing something soft and low, Ernest was laboring over another glass. It was peaceful. I finished my drink and put the glass back down on the bar. Ernest immediately poured me another four fingers.