As You Like It by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616

It was your pleasure and your own remorse:

I was too young that time to value her;

But now I know her: if she be a traitor,

Why so am I; we still have slept together,

Rose at an instant, learn’d, play’d, eat together,

And wheresoever we went, like Juno’s swans,

Still we went coupled and inseparable.

DUKE FREDERICK She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,

Her very silence and her patience

Speak to the people, and they pity her.

Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy name;

And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous

When she is gone. Then open not thy lips:

Firm and irrevocable is my doom

Which I have pass’d upon her; she is banish’d.

CELIA Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:

I cannot live out of her company.

DUKE FREDERICK You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself:

If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,

And in the greatness of my word, you die.

Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK and Lords

CELIA O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?

Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.

I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.

ROSALIND I have more cause.

CELIA Thou hast not, cousin;

Prithee be cheerful: know’st thou not, the duke

Hath banish’d me, his daughter?

ROSALIND That he hath not.

CELIA No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love

Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one:

Shall we be sunder’d? shall we part, sweet girl?

No: let my father seek another heir.

Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

Whither to go and what to bear with us;

And do not seek to take your change upon you,

To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out;

For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,

Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.

ROSALIND Why, whither shall we go?

CELIA To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden.

ROSALIND Alas, what danger will it be to us,

Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

CELIA I’ll put myself in poor and mean attire

And with a kind of umber smirch my face;

The like do you: so shall we pass along

And never stir assailants.

ROSALIND Were it not better,

Because that I am more than common tall,

That I did suit me all points like a man?

A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh,

A boar-spear in my hand; and–in my heart

Lie there what hidden woman’s fear there will–

We’ll have a swashing and a martial outside,

As many other mannish cowards have

That do outface it with their semblances.

CELIA What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

ROSALIND I’ll have no worse a name than Jove’s own page;

And therefore look you call me Ganymede.

But what will you be call’d?

CELIA Something that hath a reference to my state

No longer Celia, but Aliena.

ROSALIND But, cousin, what if we assay’d to steal

The clownish fool out of your father’s court?

Would he not be a comfort to our travel?

CELIA He’ll go along o’er the wide world with me;

Leave me alone to woo him. Let’s away,

And get our jewels and our wealth together,

Devise the fittest time and safest way

To hide us from pursuit that will be made

After my flight. Now go we in content

To liberty and not to banishment.

Exeunt

Act 2

Scene 1

The Forest of Arden.

Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and two or three Lords, like foresters

DUKE SENIOR Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,

Hath not old custom made this life more sweet

Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods

More free from peril than the envious court?

Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,

The seasons’ difference, as the icy fang

And churlish chiding of the winter’s wind,

Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,

Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say

‘This is no flattery: these are counsellors

That feelingly persuade me what I am.’

Sweet are the uses of adversity,

Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,

Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;

And this our life exempt from public haunt

Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,

Sermons in stones and good in every thing.

I would not change it.

AMIENS Happy is your grace,

That can translate the stubbornness of fortune

Into so quiet and so sweet a style.

DUKE SENIOR Come, shall we go and kill us venison?

And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,

Being native burghers of this desert city,

Should in their own confines with forked heads

Have their round haunches gored.

First Lord Indeed, my lord,

The melancholy Jaques grieves at that,

And, in that kind, swears you do more usurp

Than doth your brother that hath banish’d you.

To-day my Lord of Amiens and myself

Did steal behind him as he lay along

Under an oak whose antique root peeps out

Upon the brook that brawls along this wood:

To the which place a poor sequester’d stag,

That from the hunter’s aim had ta’en a hurt,

Did come to languish, and indeed, my lord,

The wretched animal heaved forth such groans

That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat

Almost to bursting, and the big round tears

Coursed one another down his innocent nose

In piteous chase; and thus the hairy fool

Much marked of the melancholy Jaques,

Stood on the extremest verge of the swift brook,

Augmenting it with tears.

DUKE SENIOR But what said Jaques?

Did he not moralize this spectacle?

First Lord O, yes, into a thousand similes.

First, for his weeping into the needless stream;

‘Poor deer,’ quoth he, ‘thou makest a testament

As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more

To that which had too much:’ then, being there alone,

Left and abandon’d of his velvet friends,

”Tis right:’ quoth he; ‘thus misery doth part

The flux of company:’ anon a careless herd,

Full of the pasture, jumps along by him

And never stays to greet him; ‘Ay’ quoth Jaques,

‘Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens;

‘Tis just the fashion: wherefore do you look

Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?’

Thus most invectively he pierceth through

The body of the country, city, court,

Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we

Are mere usurpers, tyrants and what’s worse,

To fright the animals and to kill them up

In their assign’d and native dwelling-place.

DUKE SENIOR And did you leave him in this contemplation?

Second Lord We did, my lord, weeping and commenting

Upon the sobbing deer.

DUKE SENIOR Show me the place:

I love to cope him in these sullen fits,

For then he’s full of matter.

First Lord I’ll bring you to him straight.

Exeunt

Scene 2

A room in the palace.

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with Lords

DUKE FREDERICK Can it be possible that no man saw them?

It cannot be: some villains of my court

Are of consent and sufferance in this.

First Lord I cannot hear of any that did see her.

The ladies, her attendants of her chamber,

Saw her abed, and in the morning early

They found the bed untreasured of their mistress.

Second Lord My lord, the roynish clown, at whom so oft

Your grace was wont to laugh, is also missing.

Hisperia, the princess’ gentlewoman,

Confesses that she secretly o’erheard

Your daughter and her cousin much commend

The parts and graces of the wrestler

That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles;

And she believes, wherever they are gone,

That youth is surely in their company.

DUKE FREDERICK Send to his brother; fetch that gallant hither;

If he be absent, bring his brother to me;

I’ll make him find him: do this suddenly,

And let not search and inquisition quail

To bring again these foolish runaways.

Exeunt

Scene 3

Before OLIVER’S house.

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM, meeting

ORLANDO Who’s there?

ADAM What, my young master? O, my gentle master!

O my sweet master! O you memory

Of old Sir Rowland! why, what make you here?

Why are you virtuous? why do people love you?

And wherefore are you gentle, strong and valiant?

Why would you be so fond to overcome

The bonny priser of the humorous duke?

Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.

Know you not, master, to some kind of men

Their graces serve them but as enemies?

No more do yours: your virtues, gentle master,

Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.

O, what a world is this, when what is comely

Envenoms him that bears it!

ORLANDO Why, what’s the matter?

ADAM O unhappy youth!

Come not within these doors; within this roof

The enemy of all your graces lives:

Your brother–no, no brother; yet the son–

Yet not the son, I will not call him son

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