As You Like It by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616

not, hold your tongues.

AMIENS Well, I’ll end the song. Sirs, cover the while; the

duke will drink under this tree. He hath been all

this day to look you.

JAQUES And I have been all this day to avoid him. He is

too disputable for my company: I think of as many

matters as he, but I give heaven thanks and make no

boast of them. Come, warble, come.

SONG.

Who doth ambition shun

All together here

And loves to live i’ the sun,

Seeking the food he eats

And pleased with what he gets,

Come hither, come hither, come hither:

Here shall he see No enemy

But winter and rough weather.

JAQUES I’ll give you a verse to this note that I made

yesterday in despite of my invention.

AMIENS And I’ll sing it.

JAQUES Thus it goes:–

If it do come to pass

That any man turn ass,

Leaving his wealth and ease,

A stubborn will to please,

Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame:

Here shall he see

Gross fools as he,

An if he will come to me.

AMIENS What’s that ‘ducdame’?

JAQUES ‘Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a

circle. I’ll go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I’ll

rail against all the first-born of Egypt.

AMIENS And I’ll go seek the duke: his banquet is prepared.

Exeunt severally

Scene 6

The forest.

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

ADAM Dear master, I can go no further. O, I die for food!

Here lie I down, and measure out my grave. Farewell,

kind master.

ORLANDO Why, how now, Adam! no greater heart in thee? Live

a little; comfort a little; cheer thyself a little.

If this uncouth forest yield any thing savage, I

will either be food for it or bring it for food to

thee. Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers.

For my sake be comfortable; hold death awhile at

the arm’s end: I will here be with thee presently;

and if I bring thee not something to eat, I will

give thee leave to die: but if thou diest before I

come, thou art a mocker of my labour. Well said!

thou lookest cheerly, and I’ll be with thee quickly.

Yet thou liest in the bleak air: come, I will bear

thee to some shelter; and thou shalt not die for

lack of a dinner, if there live any thing in this

desert. Cheerly, good Adam!

Exeunt

Scene 7

The forest.

A table set out. Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and Lords like outlaws

DUKE SENIOR I think he be transform’d into a beast;

For I can no where find him like a man.

First Lord My lord, he is but even now gone hence:

Here was he merry, hearing of a song.

DUKE SENIOR If he, compact of jars, grow musical,

We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.

Go, seek him: tell him I would speak with him.

Enter JAQUES

First Lord He saves my labour by his own approach.

DUKE SENIOR Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,

That your poor friends must woo your company?

What, you look merrily!

JAQUES A fool, a fool! I met a fool i’ the forest,

A motley fool; a miserable world!

As I do live by food, I met a fool

Who laid him down and bask’d him in the sun,

And rail’d on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms and yet a motley fool.

‘Good morrow, fool,’ quoth I. ‘No, sir,’ quoth he,

‘Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:’

And then he drew a dial from his poke,

And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,

Says very wisely, ‘It is ten o’clock:

Thus we may see,’ quoth he, ‘how the world wags:

‘Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,

And after one hour more ’twill be eleven;

And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,

And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;

And thereby hangs a tale.’ When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral on the time,

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,

That fools should be so deep-contemplative,

And I did laugh sans intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool!

A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.

DUKE SENIOR What fool is this?

JAQUES O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,

And says, if ladies be but young and fair,

They have the gift to know it: and in his brain,

Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit

After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm’d

With observation, the which he vents

In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!

I am ambitious for a motley coat.

DUKE SENIOR Thou shalt have one.

JAQUES It is my only suit;

Provided that you weed your better judgments

Of all opinion that grows rank in them

That I am wise. I must have liberty

Withal, as large a charter as the wind,

To blow on whom I please; for so fools have;

And they that are most galled with my folly,

They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?

The ‘why’ is plain as way to parish church:

He that a fool doth very wisely hit

Doth very foolishly, although he smart,

Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not,

The wise man’s folly is anatomized

Even by the squandering glances of the fool.

Invest me in my motley; give me leave

To speak my mind, and I will through and through

Cleanse the foul body of the infected world,

If they will patiently receive my medicine.

DUKE SENIOR Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.

JAQUES What, for a counter, would I do but good?

DUKE SENIOR Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin:

For thou thyself hast been a libertine,

As sensual as the brutish sting itself;

And all the embossed sores and headed evils,

That thou with licence of free foot hast caught,

Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.

JAQUES Why, who cries out on pride,

That can therein tax any private party?

Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,

Till that the weary very means do ebb?

What woman in the city do I name,

When that I say the city-woman bears

The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?

Who can come in and say that I mean her,

When such a one as she such is her neighbour?

Or what is he of basest function

That says his bravery is not of my cost,

Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits

His folly to the mettle of my speech?

There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein

My tongue hath wrong’d him: if it do him right,

Then he hath wrong’d himself; if he be free,

Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,

Unclaim’d of any man. But who comes here?

Enter ORLANDO, with his sword drawn

ORLANDO Forbear, and eat no more.

JAQUES Why, I have eat none yet.

ORLANDO Nor shalt not, till necessity be served.

JAQUES Of what kind should this cock come of?

DUKE SENIOR Art thou thus bolden’d, man, by thy distress,

Or else a rude despiser of good manners,

That in civility thou seem’st so empty?

ORLANDO You touch’d my vein at first: the thorny point

Of bare distress hath ta’en from me the show

Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred

And know some nurture. But forbear, I say:

He dies that touches any of this fruit

Till I and my affairs are answered.

JAQUES An you will not be answered with reason, I must die.

DUKE SENIOR What would you have? Your gentleness shall force

More than your force move us to gentleness.

ORLANDO I almost die for food; and let me have it.

DUKE SENIOR Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

ORLANDO Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you:

I thought that all things had been savage here;

And therefore put I on the countenance

Of stern commandment. But whate’er you are

That in this desert inaccessible,

Under the shade of melancholy boughs,

Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time

If ever you have look’d on better days,

If ever been where bells have knoll’d to church,

If ever sat at any good man’s feast,

If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear

And know what ’tis to pity and be pitied,

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:

In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.

DUKE SENIOR True is it that we have seen better days,

And have with holy bell been knoll’d to church

And sat at good men’s feasts and wiped our eyes

Of drops that sacred pity hath engender’d:

And therefore sit you down in gentleness

And take upon command what help we have

That to your wanting may be minister’d.

ORLANDO Then but forbear your food a little while,

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