ASSIGNMENT IN ETERNITY — Robert A. Heinlein

“Doc! Stir your stumps! Time’s awastin’!”

He glanced again around the patio, and rejoined the others at the car. “I like your house. Miss Freeman. Why should we bother to leave Beachwood Drive when Griffith Park can’t be any pleasanter?”

“That’s easy. If you stay at home, it’s not a picnic-it’s just breakfast. My name’s Joan.”

“May I put in a request for ‘just breakfast’ here some morning-Joan?”

“Lay off o’ that mug, Joan,” advised Phil in a stage whisper. “His intentions ain’t honorable.”

Joan straightened up the remains of what had recently been a proper-sized meal.

She chucked into the fire three well-picked bones to which thick sirloin steaks were no longer attached, added.some discarded wrapping paper and one lonely roll. She shook the thermos jug. It gurgled slightly. “Anybody want some more grapefruit juice?” she called.

“Any more coffee?” asked Coburn, then continued to Huxley, “His special talents are gone completely?”

“Plenty,” Joan replied. “Serve yourselves.”

The Doctor filled his own cup and Huxley’s. Phil answered, “Gone entirely, I’m reasonably certain. I thought it might be hysterical shock from the operation, but I tried him under hypnosis, and the results were still negative-completely.

Joan, you’re some cook. Will you adopt me?”

“You’re over twenty-one.”

“I could easily have him certified as incompetent,” volunteered Coburn.

“Single women aren’t favored for adoption.”

“Marry me, and it will be all right-we can both adopt him and you can cook for all of us.”

“Well, I won’t say that I won’t and I won’t say that I will, but I will say that it’s the best offer I’ve had today. What were you guys talking about?”

“Make him put it in writing, Joan. We were talking about Valdez.”

“Oh! You were going to run those last tests yesterday, weren’t you? How did you come out?”

“Absolutely negative insofar as his special clairvoyance was concerned. It’s gone.”

“Hmm-How about the control tests?”

“The Humm-Wadsworth Temperament Test showed exactly the same profile as before the accident, within the inherent limits of accuracy of the technique. His intelligence quotient came within the technique limit, too. Association tests didn’t show anything either. By all the accepted standards of neuropsychology he is the same individual, except in two respects; he’s minus a chunk of his cortex, and he is no longer able to see around corners. Oh, yes, and he’s annoyed at losing that ability.”

After a pause she answered, “That’s pretty conclusive, isn’t it?”

Huxley turned to Coburn. “What do you think, Ben?”

“Well, I don’t know. You are trying to get me to admit that that piece of grey matter I cut out of his head gave him the ability to see in a fashion not possible to normal sense organs and not accounted for by orthodox medical theory, aren’t you?”

“I’m not trying to make you admit anything. I’m trying to find out something.”

“Well, since you put it that way, I would say if we stipulate that all your primary data were obtained with care under properly controlled conditions — ”

“They were.”

” — and that you have exercised even greater care in obtaining your negative secondary data.”

“I have. Damn it, I tried for three weeks under all conceivable conditions.”

“Then we have the inescapable conclusions, first — ” He ticked them off on his fingers. “that this subject could see without the intervention of physical sense organs; and second, that this unusual, to put it mildly, ability was in some way related to a portion of his cerebrum in the dexter lobe.”

“Bravo!” This was Joan’s contribution.

“Thanks, Ben,” acknowledged Phil. “I had reached the same conclusions, of course, but it’s very encouraging to have someone else agree with me.”

“Well, now that you are there, where are you?”

“I don’t know exactly. Let me put it this way; I got into psychology for the same reason a person joins a church-because he feels an overpowering need to understand himself and the world around him. When I was a young student, I thought modern psychology could tell me the.answers, but I soon found out that the best psychologists didn’t know a damn thing about the real core of the matter. Oh, I am not disparaging the work that has been done; it was badly needed and has been very useful in its way. None of ’em know what life is, what thought is, whether free will is a reality or an illusion, or whether that last question means anything. The best of ’em admit their ignorance; the worst of them make dogmatic assertions that are obvio us absurdities — for example some of the mechanistic behaviorists that think just because Pavlov could condition a dog to drool at the sound of a bell that, therefore, they knew all about how Paderewski made music!”

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