Awakeners by Sheri S Tepper

“Well, I got more fun out of the myth than I ever did eating the candy after I knew you had put it there. Especially since it was Prender who told me.”

“Prender wasn’t supposed to tell you. She was supposed to let you believe as long as you could. We always let the little ones believe as long as they can; they get such pleasure out of it. She probably wouldn’t have told you if it hadn’t been for jealousy in the family. You two didn’t get along then and most likely never will. I’ve told Prender a hundred times, ‘We eat the crops the workers grow! Why should we turn our backs on the Awakeners?’ Ah, well, but you know your oldest sister.”

“I know her well enough.” Pamra was grimly certain about this. “The whole family. Rejecting me because of what I chose to do.”

“Oh, child. They just doubt sometimes, that’s all. Don’t you ever doubt? Are you always sure Awakening is for the best?”

“Delia! What do you expect me to say? That’s the kind of question Mother would have asked! And you know how everyone felt about that! Of course Awakening is for the best.”

“I know you believe so, child. But lots of people don’t, truly. It doesn’t make them bad. Perhaps you know something they don’t. It’s better when all the people know, Pamra. It’s better not to be alone.” She sighed. “I wish you’d forgive your mama, Pammy. What she did wasn’t so bad.”

“It was bad enough! Deserting me and Papa that way!”

“She had her reasons, Pammy. She was pregnant, sick, frightened.”

“That’s no excuse! How could she give up an eternity of blessedness in Potipur’s arms for no more reason than that!”

“Perhaps … perhaps because she doubted she’d be Sorted Out, child. We all have our little sins.”

“And Potipur is merciful,” Pamra grated, teeth tight together. “Delia, stop this. I didn’t come here to argue with you!” Remembering, suddenly, why it was she had not come more often. Delia always pressed her for forgiveness. And it always evoked this old guilt. This old pain.

“All right, all right, child. We won’t fight over it. I wish you’d forgive her because you’d be happier so. But you won’t. And that’s that. It doesn’t change I-love-you.”

“No,” she said, softening enough to put her arm around the old woman. “No, Delia. It doesn’t change I-love-you.”

They sat beneath the flowering puncon tree, the sky beginning to flush with sunset. “I’m glad you’ve come, Pamra. I prayed you would, because your old Delia wants your help to break a rule. Just a little bit.”

Pamra’s mouth twitched. Because she could not imagine Delia breaking any rule at all, it took a moment for the enormity of the woman’s request to sink in. “You want to what?”

“I want to go back east, to the village I was born in, to see my sister. She’s old. I want to see her.”

For a moment she did not believe she had heard. Then she believed and was appalled at the fury of anger that took her. Anger. At Delia. She choked on it. “By the three, Delia! You want to get us both whipped? Or used? That’s no small rule breaking. That’s a major infraction-the major infraction. No one crosses town lines eastward. No one!”

“Oh, well, child, sometimes people do, you know. They just lie about it a lot. I heard that someone on the other side of Baristown went to Wilforn and stayed for the Conjunction festival and then came back, all in one piece and in his right mind.”

“Don’t tell me!” she demanded, feeling her face grow white and stiff. “Honestly, Delia. Of all the things I’m sworn to uphold, the direction of life is one of-is the most important.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Because it’s Potipur’s commandment, that’s why. The World River moves west, the moons move west, the sun moves west, we move-all west,

in the direction of life. To go east is antilife, against the Three. It’s evil, in and of itself! Blasphemous! It’s like those foul same-sex lovers who refuse to propagate in accordance with Potipur’s will, like those rotten celibates the Laughers keep rooting out. If you want to visit your sister, you’ll have to go west to Shabber, and keep on going until you come to it.”

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *