“I think I found somebody,” he said. “Somebody to help me . . . remember myself.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m not sure,” he said, his voice gossamer. “I’ve seen some things in the last few weeks, Tay . . . things I didn’t want to believe until I had no choice. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy.”
‘Tell me.”
“There was someone in New York who tried to kill Jude.”
“I know. She told me about it. What about him?” His eyes widened. “Is this the somebody?” he said.
“It’s not a he.”
“I thought Judy said it was a man.”
“It’s not a man,” Gentle said. “It’s not a woman, either. It’s not even human, Tay.”
“What is it then?”
“Wonderful,” he said quietly.
He hadn’t dared use a word like that, even to himself. But anything less was a lie, and lies weren’t welcome here.
“I told you I was going crazy. But I swear if you had seen the way it changed . . . it was like nothing on earth.”
“And where is it now?”
“I think it’s dead,” Gentle replied. “I wasted too long to find it. I tried to forget I’d ever set eyes on it. I was afraid of what it was stirring up in me. And then when that didn’t work I tried to paint it out of my system. But it wouldn’t go. Of course, it wouldn’t go. It was part of me by that time. And then when I finally went to find it. . . it was too late.” “Are you sure?” Taylor said. Knots of discomfort had appeared on his face, as Gentle talked, and were tightenin£-“Are you all right?”
“Yes, yes,” he said. “I want to hear the rest.”
“There’s nothing else to hear. Maybe Pie’s out there somewhere, but I don’t know where.”
“Is that why you want to float? Are you hoping—” He stopped, his breathing suddenly turning into gasps. “You know, maybe you should fetch Clem,” he said.
“Of course.”
Gentle went to the door, but before he reached it Taylor said, “You’ve got to understand. Gentle. Whatever the mystery is, you’ll have to see it for us both.”
With his hand on the door, and ample reason to beat a hasty retreat, Gentle knew he could still choose silence over a reply, could take his leave of the ancient without accepting the quest. But if he answered, and took it, he was bound.
“I’m going to understand,” he said, meeting Taylor’s despairing gaze. “We both are. I swear.”
Taylor managed to smile in response, but it was fleeting. Gentle opened the door and headed out onto the landing. Clem was waiting.
“He needs you,” Gentle said.
Clem stepped inside and closed the bedroom door. Feeling suddenly exiled, Gentle headed downstairs. Jude was sitting at the kitchen table, playing with a piece of rock.
“How is he?” she wanted to know.
“Not good,” Gentle said. “Clem’s gone in to look after him.”
“Do you want some tea?”
“No, thanks. What I really need’s some fresh air. I think I’ll take a walk around the block.”
There was a fine drizzle falling when he stepped outside, which was welcome after the suffocating heat of the sickroom. He knew the neighborhood scarcely at all, so he decided to stay close to the house, but his distraction soon got the better of that plan and he wandered aimlessly, lost in thought and the maze of streets. There was a freshness in the wind that made him sigh for escape. This was no place to solve mysteries. After the turn of the year everybody would be stepping up to a new round of resolutions and ambitions, plotting their futures like well-oiled farces. He wanted none of it.
As he began the trek back to the house he remembered that Jude had asked him to pick up milk and cigarettes on his journey, and that he was returning empty-handed. He turned and went in search of both, which took him longer than he expected. When he finally rounded the corner, goods in hand, there was an ambulance outside the house. The front door was open. Jude stood on the step, watching the drizzle. She had tears on her face.