“You certainly deserve it.”
Pushing himself up from the bed, Philip raised his hands over his head and cried out, “Look at me! I’m not even fifty years old and I’m half-crippled, half-blind, waiting for an assassin’s knife or my own wife’s poison. I’ve given my life to make something new and enduring, a nation of many tribes, many cities. No one has done that, Orion! No one in all of Greece. But I have, and I’ll keep working at it because the instant I stop it will all fall apart. There’s no end to my labors, no end except death.”
I stood there, almost stunned by the passions my question had unleashed. Philip seemed to realize how much of his soul he had revealed. He let his hands drop to his side and shuffled off toward the window, pretending to look down into the darkened courtyard below.
“I did it all for her,” he murmured, so low I could barely hear him. “I was a lad of eighteen, just about Alexandros’ age, when I met her. I wasn’t king; I had no prospect of being king. My two older brothers stood ahead of me.”
He turned back toward me, his face a mask of memories and regrets. “She truly bewitched me, Orion. I wanted to conquer the world for her! I pushed both my brothers aside and seized the throne. I smashed the tribes who were carving up Macedonia. I made our army invincible. I worked for years to bring all of Greece together under my leadership. All for her. All for her.”
I thought his voice was going to break into sobs.
“And she spurns me. Calls me foul names and refuses to lie with me. I put the world at her feet and all she can think about is how to put her son on the throne—my throne! She doesn’t love me. She never did.”
“She doesn’t love anyone,” I said. “She uses us the way a drover uses his oxen.”
He cast his good eye on me. For long moments he was silent while a parade of emotions played across his scarred, bearded face.
At last he said gruffly, “You’d better go now. Prepare for your journey to Susa with that unpronounceable one.”
I left him alone, staring into the past and his memories. Dawn was brightening the sky outside. Birds were stirring and singing cheerily out among the trees. But I felt far from cheerful. I wondered if I would ever see Philip again, alive.