He knelt beside her, wordless, and he felt the thickness in his throat, the sting of tears in his eyes, and he put his arms about the slim body, raised her, and her head fell backwards so that the big ruby in the hollow of her neck leaked a slow trickle towards her chin. He put a hand under her head, feeling where the cold snow was on her hair, and he pressed her cheek against his and he wept for Teresa was dead.
Her hands were in the snow, cold hands frozen by the ride, yet there was still warmth in her. Warmth that would fade. He held her to him as though he could force life back into the body and he sobbed into the black hair. She had loved him with a pure, simple love that forgave, understood, and she had loved him.
He had no picture of her. She would be a memory that would fade as her warmth would fade, but would fade over the years, and he would forget the passion that gave life to this face. She had seethed with life. She had been restless and forceful, a killer of the border hills, yet she had a childlike faith in love. She had given herself to him and never doubted the wisdom of the gift as he had sometimes doubted it. She had kept the faith, and she was dead.
He cried, not caring who watched, and he rocked her in his arms and held her tight because he had not held her enough when she lived. They had met through war, war had held them apart, and now war had done this. It should have been himself who died, he thought, not this, and his grief was formless, incoherent, a pain that was betrayed love and filled the universe.
‘Sharpe?’ Nairn touched his shoulder, but Sharpe did not hear, did not see, he only rocked the body in his arms. His left arm was entwined in her hair, gripping it because he did not want to lose her, he did not want to be alone, and she was the mother of his child, his motherless child, and Nairn heard the moan, half howl, that came from Sharpe’s throat. Nairn saw the face of the body and straightened up. ‘Oh God.’
Patrick Harper crouched opposite Sharpe. ‘There’ll be a priest with the Spanish, sir.’ He had to repeat it, and then Sharpe looked up, eyes strange to Harper. ‘What?’
‘A priest, sir. She must be shriven.’ Sharpe appeared not to understand. He was holding Teresa as though Harper would take her away, but then he frowned. ‘After death?’
Harper was not embarrassed by the tears. ‘Aye, sir. It can be done.’ He put out a hand and, with extraordinary gentleness, closed the eyelids. ‘We must send her to heaven, sir. She’d be best laying down, so she would.’ He spoke as if to a child and Sharpe obeyed.
He knelt by the body till the priest came and he was in the confused world of the grief and he babbled promises at her and inside was the insane hope that the eyes would open and she would smile at him, tease him as she used to tease him, but there was no movement in her. Teresa was dead.
Her cloak was open at the waist and he pulled it over her and felt the lump tucked into the sash she wore. He pulled out the cloth bundle, unwrapped it, and he looked at the Rifleman which was his daughter’s present and he did not think it worthy of her so he broke it, tore it, scattered the small shreds on the snow.
He stood unseeing as the priest knelt by the body, as the Latin words whirled over the snow like meaningless, dead things. The wafer was put to dead lips, the sign of the cross made, and Sharpe stared at the face that was so calm and still and utterly without life.
‘Sharpe?’ Nairn touched his elbow. Pointed eastwards.
Dubreton was riding slowly towards them and behind the French Colonel was Sergeant Bigeard, walking, and in Bigeard’s grip once more was Hakeswill. Hakeswill clutched the greatcoat about his nakedness and jerked helplessly against the big Frenchman’s hold.