BEWARE OF THE DOG
By Roald Dahl
BEWARE OF THE DOG
1
BEWARE OF THE DOG
By Roald Dahl
BEWARE OF THE DOG
2
DOWN below there was only a vast white undulating sea of cloud. Above there was the sun, and
the sun was white like the
clouds, because it is never yellow when one looks at it from high in the air.
He was still flying the Spitfire. His right hand was on the stick, and he was working the rudder
bar with his left leg alone. It was
quite easy. The machine was flying well, and he knew what he was doing.
Everything is fine, he thought. I’m doing all right. I’m doing nicely. I know my way home. I’ll be
there in half an hour. When I
land I shall taxi in and switch off my engine and I shall say, help me to get out, will you. I shall
make my voice sound ordinary
and natural and none of them will take any notice. Then I shall say, someone help me to get out.
I can’t do it alone because I’ve
lost one of my legs. They’ll all laugh and think that I’m joking, and I shall say, all right, come and
have a look, you unbelieving
bastards. Then Yorky will climb up onto the wing and look inside. He’ll probably be sick
because of all the blood and the mess.
I shall laugh and say, for God’s sake, help me out.
He glanced down again at his right leg. There was not much of it left. The cannon shell had taken
him on the thigh, just above
the knee, and now there was nothing but a great mess and a lot of blood. But there was no pain.
When he looked down, he felt
as though he were seeing something that did not belong to him. It had nothing to do with him. It
was just a mess which
happened to be there in the cockpit; something strange and unusual and rather interesting. It was
like finding a dead cat on the
sofa.
He really felt fine, and because he still felt fine, he felt excited and unafraid.
I won’t even bother to call up on the radio for the blood wagon, he thought. It isn’t necessary.
And when I land I’ll sit there quite
normally and say, some of you fellows come and help me out, will you, because I’ve lost one of
my legs. That will be funny. I’ll
laugh a little while I’m saying it; I’ll say it calmly and slowly, and they’ll think I’m joking. When
Yorky comes up onto the wing
and gets sick, I’ll say, Yorky, you old son of a bitch, have you fixed my car yet? Then when I get
out I’ll make my report and
later I’ll go up to London. I’ll take that half bottle of whisky with me and I’ll give it to Bluey.
We’ll sit in her room and drink it. I’ll
get the water out of the bathroom tap. I won’t say much until it’s time to go to bed, then Ill say,
Bluey, I’ve got a surprise for
you. I lost a leg today. But I don’t mind so long as you don’t. It doesn’t even hurt. We’ll go
everywhere in cars. I always hated
BEWARE OF THE DOG
3
walking, except when I walked down the street of the coppersmiths in Bagdad, but I could go in
a rickshaw. I could go home
and chop wood, but the head always flies off the ax. Hot water, that’s what it needs; put it in the
bath and make the handle
swell. I chopped lots of wood last time I went home, and I put the ax in the bath. . . .
Then he saw the sun shining on the engine cowling of his machine. He saw the rivets in the
metal, and he remembered where he
was. He realized that he was no longer feeling good; that he was sick and giddy. His head kept
falling forward onto his chest
because his neck seemed no longer to have- any strength. But he knew that he was flying the
Spitfire, and he could feel the