BEWARE OF THE DOG By Roald Dahl

wretched soap won’t lather at all.

It’s the water. It’s as hard as nails.”

He said, “None of the soap is very good now and, of course, with hard water it’s hopeless.” As he

said it he remembered

something. He remembered the baths which he used to take at school in Brighton, in the long

stone-floored bathroom which

had four baths in a room. He remembered how the water was so soft that you had to take a

shower afterwards to get all the

soap off your body, and he remembered how the foam used to float on the surface of the water,

so that you could not see your

legs underneath. He remembered that sometimes they were given calcium tablets because the

school doctor used to say that

soft water was bad for the teeth.

“In Brighton,” he said, “the water isn’t . . .”

He did not finish the sentence. Something had occurred to him; something so fantastic and

absurd that for a moment he felt like

telling the nurse about it and having a good laugh.

She looked up. “The water isn’t what?” she said.

“Nothing,” he answered. “I was dreaming.

She rinsed the flannel in the basin, wiped the soap off his leg, and dried him with a towel.

BEWARE OF THE DOG

9

“It’s nice to be washed,” he said. “I feel better.” He was feeling his face with his hands. “I need a

shave.”

“We’ll do that tomorrow,” she said. “Perhaps you can do it yourself then.”

That night he could not sleep. He lay awake thinking of the Junkers 88’s and of the hardness of

the water. He could think of

nothing else. They were JU-88’s, he said to himself. I know they were. And yet it is not possible,

because they would not be

flying around so low over here in broad daylight. I know that it is true, and yet I know that it is

impossible. Perhaps I am ill.

Perhaps I am behaving like a fool and do not know what I am doing or saying. Perhaps I am

delirious. For a long time he lay

awake thinking these things, and once he sat up in bed and said aloud, “I will prove that I am not

crazy. I will make a little

speech about something complicated and intellectual. I will talk about what to do with Germany

after the war.” But before he

had time to begin, he was asleep.

He woke just as the first light of day was showing through the slit in the curtains over the

window. The room was still dark, but

he could tell that it was already beginning to get light outside. He lay looking at the grey light

which was showing through the slit

in the curtain, and as he lay there he remembered the day before. He remembered the Junkers

88’s and the hardness of the

water; he remembered the large pleasant nurse and the kind doctor, and now the small grain of

doubt took root in his mind and

it began to grow.

He looked around the room. The nurse had taken the roses out the night before, and there was

nothing except the table with a

packet of cigarettes, a box of matches and an ash tray. Otherwise, it was bare. It was no longer

warm or friendly. It was not

even comfortable. It was cold and empty and very quiet.

Slowly the grain of doubt grew, and with it came fear, a light, dancing fear that warned but did

not frighten; the kind of fear that

one gets not because one is afraid, but because one feels that there is something wrong. Quickly

the doubt and the fear grew so

that he became restless and angry, and when he touched his forehead with his hand, he found that

it was damp with sweat. He

knew then that he must do something; that he must find some way of proving to himself that he

was either right or wrong, and he

looked up and saw again the window and the green curtains. From where he lay, that window

was right in front of him, but it

BEWARE OF THE DOG

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