“But the facts kept staring me in the face. I was going to do all those things. There were no alternatives, no fanciful ‘branches of time,’ no decision-points that might be altered to make the future change. My future, like yours, Dr. Wald’s, and everyone else’s, was fixed. It didn’t matter a snap whether or not I had a decent motive for what I was going to do; I was going to do it anyhow. Cause and effect, as I could see for myself, just don’t exist. One event follows another because events are just as indestructible in space-time as matter and energy are.
“It was the bitterest of all pills. It will take me many years to swallow it completely, and you too. Dr. Wald will come around a little sooner, I think. At any rate, once I was intellectually convinced that all this was so, I had to protect my own sanity. I knew that I couldn’t alter what I was going to do, but the least I could do to protect myself was to supply myself with motives. Or, in other words, just plain rationalizations. That much, it seems, we’re free to do; the consciousness of the observer is just along for the ride through time, and can’t alter eventsbut it can comment, explain, invent.
That’s fortunate, for none of us could stand going through motions which were truly free of what we think of as personal significances.
“So I supplied myself with the obvious motives. Since I was going to be married to you and couldn’t get out of it, I set out to convince myself that I loved you. Now I do. Since I was going to join the bureau staff, I thought over all the advantages that it might have over video commentating, and found that they made a respectable list. Those are my motives.