Blood Test by Kellerman, Jonathan

apart and I’ve lost my taste for solitude.”

“That all of it?” he asked, pickingup his fork.

I looked up sharply. “What else?”

“Well,” he said, between mouthfuls, “I may be

totally off base here, Doctor, but it seems to me

that this Japanese thing puts a new perspective on

your–pardon the expression–relationship.”

“How so ?”

“Like for the past couple of years, you’ve been

the one with the bread, right? She makes a living,

106 Jonathan Ket/ennan

but the. life the two of you’ve been leading–Maui,

theater tickets, that incredible garden–who pays

for it?”

“I don’t get the point,” I said, annoyed.

“The point is that despite your pretending it

ain’t so, you guys have had a traditional setup. Now

she’s got the chance to become a big shot and it

could all change.”

“I can handle it.”

“Sure you can. Forget I brought it up.”

“Consider it forgotten.” I looked down at my

plate. All of a sudden my appetite was gone. I

pushed the food away and fixed my gaze on a flock

of gulls raiding the pier for bait scraps. “You

insightful bastard,” I said. “Sometimes you’re

spooky.”

He reached across the table and patted my shoulder.

“Hey, you’re not a very subtle guy. Everything

registers on that lean and hungry face.”

I rested my chin in my hands. “Things were

going along so nice and simple. She kept the studio

after she moved in, we prided ourselves on giving

each other room to move. Lately we’d started talking

marriage, babies. It was great, both of us moving

at the same pace, mutual decisions. Now,” I

shrugged, “who knows?” I took a long swallow of

the Dutch brew. “I’ll tell you, Milo, they don’t

cover it in the psych books, but there’s such a thing

as the paternal urge and at thirty-five I’m feel.ing

it.”

“I know,” he said. “I’ve felt it, too,”

My stare was involuntary.

“Don’t look so surprised. Just because it’s never

gonna happen doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

“You never can tell. They’re getting pretty liberal.”

He loosened his belt

of bread. “Not that liberal.”

Rick and I are not equiped for mothe

ever you wanna call it. Can’t you just

shopping at Toys “}{” Us and Dr. Fastidi°Us’changing

diapers ?”

We shared a good laugh over that.

“Anyway,” he said, “I didn’t mean to bring up a

sore point, but it’s something you’re gonna have to

deal with. I did. For most of my life I .made my own

way. My parents didn’t give me squat. I’ve been

working at one dodge or another since ele,en, Alex.

Paper routes, tutoring, picking pears, construction,

a little time out for the M.A., then Saigon and the

force. You don’t get rich in Homicide, but a single

guy can get by nicely. I was lonely as hell but my

needs were met. After I met Rick and we started .

living together, it all changed. You remember my

old Fiat–piece of shit that it was. I never-dxove

anything but garbage and unmarkeds. Now we tool

around in that Porsche like a pair of coke dealers.

And the house–no way I could ever have had a

place like that on my salary. He goes shopping at

Carrols or Giorgio, picks me up a shirt or tie. I’m

not a–kept man, but-my lifestyle has changed. For

the better, but that hasn’t-made it easy to accept.

Surgeons make more than cops, always have, always

will, and I’ve finally accommodated myself to

it. Makes you stop and think about what women go

through, huh?”‘

“Yup.’ I wondered if Robin had been faced with

the type of adjustment he’d described. Had there

been a struggle that I’d been too insensitive to notice?

“In the long run,” he said, “it’s better if both

parties feel like adults, don’t you think?”

“What I think, Milo, is that you’re an amazing

guy.”

He hid his embarrassment behind the menu. “If I

remember correctly the ice cream is good, right?”

“Right,”

Over dessert he had me tell him more about

Woody Swope and childhood cancer. He was shocked,

like most people, that it was the second most

common cause of death in children; only accidents

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