apart and I’ve lost my taste for solitude.”
“That all of it?” he asked, pickingup his fork.
I looked up sharply. “What else?”
“Well,” he said, between mouthfuls, “I may be
totally off base here, Doctor, but it seems to me
that this Japanese thing puts a new perspective on
your–pardon the expression–relationship.”
“How so ?”
“Like for the past couple of years, you’ve been
the one with the bread, right? She makes a living,
106 Jonathan Ket/ennan
but the. life the two of you’ve been leading–Maui,
theater tickets, that incredible garden–who pays
for it?”
“I don’t get the point,” I said, annoyed.
“The point is that despite your pretending it
ain’t so, you guys have had a traditional setup. Now
she’s got the chance to become a big shot and it
could all change.”
“I can handle it.”
“Sure you can. Forget I brought it up.”
“Consider it forgotten.” I looked down at my
plate. All of a sudden my appetite was gone. I
pushed the food away and fixed my gaze on a flock
of gulls raiding the pier for bait scraps. “You
insightful bastard,” I said. “Sometimes you’re
spooky.”
He reached across the table and patted my shoulder.
“Hey, you’re not a very subtle guy. Everything
registers on that lean and hungry face.”
I rested my chin in my hands. “Things were
going along so nice and simple. She kept the studio
after she moved in, we prided ourselves on giving
each other room to move. Lately we’d started talking
marriage, babies. It was great, both of us moving
at the same pace, mutual decisions. Now,” I
shrugged, “who knows?” I took a long swallow of
the Dutch brew. “I’ll tell you, Milo, they don’t
cover it in the psych books, but there’s such a thing
as the paternal urge and at thirty-five I’m feel.ing
it.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve felt it, too,”
My stare was involuntary.
“Don’t look so surprised. Just because it’s never
gonna happen doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”
“You never can tell. They’re getting pretty liberal.”
He loosened his belt
of bread. “Not that liberal.”
Rick and I are not equiped for mothe
ever you wanna call it. Can’t you just
shopping at Toys “}{” Us and Dr. Fastidi°Us’changing
diapers ?”
We shared a good laugh over that.
“Anyway,” he said, “I didn’t mean to bring up a
sore point, but it’s something you’re gonna have to
deal with. I did. For most of my life I .made my own
way. My parents didn’t give me squat. I’ve been
working at one dodge or another since ele,en, Alex.
Paper routes, tutoring, picking pears, construction,
a little time out for the M.A., then Saigon and the
force. You don’t get rich in Homicide, but a single
guy can get by nicely. I was lonely as hell but my
needs were met. After I met Rick and we started .
living together, it all changed. You remember my
old Fiat–piece of shit that it was. I never-dxove
anything but garbage and unmarkeds. Now we tool
around in that Porsche like a pair of coke dealers.
And the house–no way I could ever have had a
place like that on my salary. He goes shopping at
Carrols or Giorgio, picks me up a shirt or tie. I’m
not a–kept man, but-my lifestyle has changed. For
the better, but that hasn’t-made it easy to accept.
Surgeons make more than cops, always have, always
will, and I’ve finally accommodated myself to
it. Makes you stop and think about what women go
through, huh?”‘
“Yup.’ I wondered if Robin had been faced with
the type of adjustment he’d described. Had there
been a struggle that I’d been too insensitive to notice?
“In the long run,” he said, “it’s better if both
parties feel like adults, don’t you think?”
“What I think, Milo, is that you’re an amazing
guy.”
He hid his embarrassment behind the menu. “If I
remember correctly the ice cream is good, right?”
“Right,”
Over dessert he had me tell him more about
Woody Swope and childhood cancer. He was shocked,
like most people, that it was the second most
common cause of death in children; only accidents