“Art: Isn’t that nice,” said Dr. Harper indifferently. After drying his hands, he tore open a package of latex rubber gloves. In front of Kristin he thrust his hands into them, snapping them noisily back over his wrists, then adjusting each finger in turn. It was done meticulously, like a ritual. Kristin noticed that Dr. Harper had plenty of hair everywhere but on the top of his head. Seen through the sheer latex, the hair on the backs of his hands looked vulgar.
Walking down to the foot of the table, he quizzed Kristin about her mild discharge and her occasional spotting. Obviously he wasn’t impressed by either symptom. Without any more delay, he sat down on the small stool, disappearing from Kristin’s view. She felt a sense of panic when the bottom edge of the sheet was picked up.
“All right,” said Dr. Harper casually. “I want you to scoot down here toward me.”
As Kristin moved even farther down the table, the door to the exam room opened and Ms. Blackman entered. Kristin was glad to see her. She felt her legs being pushed apart, to their limit. She couldn’t have been more exposed and vulnerable.
“Let’s have the Graves’ speculum,” said Dr. Harper to Ms. Blackman.
Kristin couldn’t see what was going on but she heard the sharp clink of metal hitting against metal and it gave her a sinking feeling in the pit of her abdomen.
“Okay,” said Dr. Harper. “I want you to relax now.”
Before Kristin could respond, a gloved finger spread the lips of her vagina and the muscles of her thighs contracted by reflex. Then she felt the cold intrusion of the metal speculum.
“Come on, relax! When was your last Pap smear?”
It took a few seconds for Kristin to realize the question was being directed at her. “About a year ago.” There was a spreading sensation.
Dr. Harper stayed silent. Kristin had no idea what was happening. With the speculum inside of her, she was terrified to move a muscle. Why was it taking so long? The speculum moved slightly and she could hear the doctor murmuring. Was something wrong with her? Lifting her head, Kristin could see that he wasn’t even looking at her. He had turned and was bending over the small table, doing something that required both hands. Ms. Blackman was nodding and whispering. Lying back down, Kristin wished he’d hurry and take the speculum out. Then she felt it move, followed by a strange deep sinking sensation in her abdomen.
“Okay,” said Dr. Harper finally. The speculum came out as fast as it went in and with only a momentary twinge of pain. Kristin breathed a sigh of relief only to be assaulted by the rest of the examination.
“Your ovaries feel fine,” Dr. Harper said finally as he pulled off his soiled gloves, dropping them into a covered pail.
“I’m glad,” said Kristin, referring more to the termination of the experience.
After a quick breast exam, Dr. Harper told her she could get dressed. He acted curt and preoccupied. Kristin stepped behind the screen, pulling the curtain closed. She put her clothes on as quickly as possible, afraid the doctor might leave before she had the chance to talk with him. When she emerged from the dressing area she was still buttoning her blouse. It was good timing because Dr. Harper was just completing her chart.
“Dr. Harper,” began Kristin. “I wanted to ask about birth control.”
“What would you like to know?”
“I’d like to know what would be the best method for me to use.”
Dr. Harper shrugged. “Each method has its good points and bad points. As far as you’re concerned, I don’t think there’s any contraindication for using any of the methods. It’s a personal choice. Talk to Ms. Blackman about it.”
Kristin nodded. She wanted to ask more, but Dr. Harper’s abrupt manner made her feel self-conscious.
“Your exam,” continued Dr. Harper, as he put his pen back into his jacket pocket and stood up, “was essentially normal. I noticed a slight erosion of your cervix, which would explain your mild discharge. It’s nothing. Perhaps we should check it again in a couple of months.”