They walked in silence for a moment. Increasingly bitter and embarrassed thoughts reared up. Kurt glanced at the nemet.’ “You pulled me from the harbor. You saved my life. You gave me everything I have, by Djan’s leave. You went to her and asked for me, and if not for that I would be… I would certainly not be walking the streets free. So do not misunderstand what I ask you. But you said that from the time I arrived in Nephane, people knew that I would become involved with the Methi. Was I pushed toward that, Kta? Was I aimed at her, an Indras weapon against Shan t’Tefur?”
And to his distress, Kta did not answer at once.
“Is it the truth, then?” Kurt asked.
“Kurt, you have married within my house.”
“Is it true?” he insisted.
“I do not know how a human hears things,” Kta protested. “Or whether you attribute to me motives no nemet would have, or fail to think what would be obvious to a nemet. Gods, Kurt-”
“Answer me.”
“When I first saw you, I thought, He is the Methi’s kind. Is that not most obvious? Is there offense in.that? And I thought: He ought to be treated kindly, since he is a gentle being, and since one day he may be more than he seems now. And then an unworthy thought came to me: It would be profitable to your house, Kta t’Elas. And there is offense in that. At the time you were only human to me; and to a nemet, that does not oblige one to deal morally. I do offend you. I cause you pain. But that is the way it was. I think differently now. I am ashamed.”
“So Elas took me in, to use.”
“No,” said Kta quickly. “We would never have opened-”
His words died as Kurt kept staring at him. “Go ahead,” said Kurt. “Or do I already understand?”
Kta met his eyes directly, contrition in a nemet. “Elas is holy to us. I owe you a truth. We would never have opened our doors to you-to anyone… Very well, I will say it: it is unthinkable that I would have exposed my hearth to human influence, whatever the advantage it promised with the Methi. Our hospitality is sacred, and not for sale for any favor. But I made a mistake. In my anxiousness to win your favor, I gave you my word, and the word of Elas is sacred too. So I accepted you. My friend, let our friendship survive this truth: when the other Families reproached Elas for taking a human into its rhmei, we argued simply that it was better for a human to be within an Indras house than sent to the Sufaki instead, for the influence of the Sufaki is already dangerously powerful. And I think another consideration influenced Djan-methi in hearing me: that your life would have been in constant danger in a Sufak house, because of the honor of Shan t’Tefur, although I dared not say it in words. So she sent you to Elas. I think she feared t’Tefur’s reaction even if you remained in the Afen.”
“I understand,” said Kurt, because it seemed proper to say something. The words hurt. He did not trust himself to say much.
“Elas loves and honors you,” said Kta, and when Kurt still failed to answer him he looked down and, with what appeared much thought, he cautiously extended his hand to take Kurt’s arm, touching like Mim, with feather-softness. It was an unnatural gesture for the nemet; it was one studied, copied, offered now on the public street as an act of desperation.
Kurt stopped, set’ his jaw against the tears which threatened.
“Avoid t’Tefur,” Kta pleaded. “If the house-friend of Elas kills the heir of Tefur-or if he kills you-killing will not stop there. He will provoke you if he can. Be wise. Do not let him do this.”
“I understand. I have told you that.”
Kta glanced down, gave the sketch of a bow. The hand dropped. They walked on, near to Elas.
“Have I a soul?” Kurt asked him suddenly, and looked at him.
The nemet’s face was shocked, frightened.