Out of nowhere, JoLayne said, “I wonder what Martha Stewart would do in a spot like this.”
Krome thought: OK, she’s delirious.
“Seriously,” said JoLayne. “There’s a woman who’d be completely useless right about now, unless you were in a hurry for a macrame or a flower box. Ever see ole Martha on TV? Planting those bulbs and bakin’ them pies.”
Krome said, “Get a grip.” He lifted his head to peer out.
“Me, I’m all thumbs when it comes to crafts. A total klutz. However, I can use a gun—”
“Quiet,” Krome told her.
“—which we happen to have in our possession.”
“JoLayne, get ready!”
“A perfectly good shotgun.”
In the darkness Krome sensed her edging closer. Her cheek touched his, and he astonished himself by kissing her. No big deal; a light brotherly kiss meant only to calm. That’s what he told himself.
JoLayne turned her face but said nothing. The pickup truck was approaching rapidly. Krome felt her arm brush his shoulder, as if she were reaching out for him.
She wasn’t. She was going for his car keys, which she adroitly plucked from the ignition. In an instant she flung open her door and rolled out.
“No!” Krome shouted, but JoLayne was already at the trunk. By the time he got there, the Remington was in her hands.
Nearby, the roadbed brightened; insects swirled in the white beams of the truck’s lights. Hurriedly Krome pulled JoLayne Lucks behind a pine tree. He wrapped his arms around her, pinning the shotgun awkwardly between them.
“Lemme go,” she said.
“You got the safety on?”
“Don’t be a jerk, Tom.”
“Sshhh.”
As the pickup passed, they heard the sound of men’s voices raised in excitement. Tom Krome didn’t relax his hold on JoLayne until the truck was gone and the night was utterly still.
He said, “That was close.”
JoLayne laid the shotgun in the trunk, and not gently. “Macrame, my ass,” she said.
Demencio was still basking in the praise of the Reverend Joshua Moody, who before departing had turned to his curious flock and proclaimed:
“In thirty-three years of touring miracles, this is one of the most astounding things I’ve ever seen!”
He was speaking of the apostolic cooters.
Later, after the Christian pilgrims from West Virginia had keened and swooned and ultimately placed in Trish’s wicker collection basket the sum of $211 (not including what was spent on soft drinks, T-shirts, angel food snacks and sunblock), Reverend Moody had pulled Demencio aside: “You gotta tell me exactly where this came from.”
“It’s like I said.”
“Hey, I been doin’ this since before you were born.” The preacher, arching one of his snowy-white eyebrows. “Come on, son, I won’t give it away.”
Demencio had coolly stuck to his spiel. “One day the turtles are normal. The next day I look in the aquarium and there’s the apostles. All twelve of ’em.”
“Sure, sure.” With an impatient sigh, Reverend Moody had turned Demencio loose. “Of all the places for a holy apparition—on a cooter’s shell, I swear to God, boy.”
“Not an apparition,” Demencio had said coyly, “just a likeness.” The concept of using turtles is what had intrigued Reverend Moody—how had a mere layman such as Demencio dreamed up something so original? The man simply wouldn’t say. So, out of professional courtesy, the preacher had backed off. Amiably he’d pumped Demencio’s hand and told him: “You are one brilliant bastard.” Then he’d shepherded the pilgrims back onto the bus.
Demencio had stood waving on the sidewalk until they were out of sight. With a self-congratulatory smirk he’d turned toward his wife, who was sorting the tear-dampened clumps of cash. “We did it!” she said elatedly. “Un-fucking-believable.”
“You were right, honey. They’ll go for anything.” As a kid, Demencio had seen painted turtles for sale at an outdoor flea market in Hialeah. Some of them had roses or sunflowers lacquered on their shells; others had flags or hearts or Disney characters. Demencio had figured it would be no less absurd to decorate JoLayne’s cooters with the faces of religious figures. It had seemed Demencio’s only hope for salvaging a profit from Reverend Moody’s visitation, since the weeping Madonna was temporarily out of service.