Cadenus And Vanessa by Jonathan Swift

Cadenus, who could ne’er suspect His lessons would have such effect, Or be so artfully applied,

Insensibly came on her side;

It was an unforeseen event,

Things took a turn he never meant.

Whoe’er excels in what we prize, Appears a hero to our eyes;

Each girl, when pleased with what is taught, Will have the teacher in her thought.

When miss delights in her spinnet, A fiddler may a fortune get;

A blockhead, with melodious voice In boarding−schools can have his choice; And oft the dancing−master’s art Climbs from the toe to touch the heart.

In learning let a nymph delight, The pedant gets a mistress by’t.

Cadenus, to his grief and shame, Could scarce oppose Vanessa’s flame; But though her arguments were strong, At least could hardly with them wrong.

Howe’er it came, he could not tell, But, sure, she never talked so well.

Cadenus And Vanessa

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Cadenus And Vanessa His pride began to interpose, Preferred before a crowd of beaux, So bright a nymph to come unsought, Such wonder by his merit wrought;

‘Tis merit must with her prevail, He never know her judgment fail.

She noted all she ever read,

And had a most discerning head.

‘Tis an old maxim in the schools, That vanity’s the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.

So when Cadenus could not hide, He chose to justify his pride; Construing the passion she had shown, Much to her praise, more to his own.

Nature in him had merit placed, In her, a most judicious taste.

Love, hitherto a transient guest, Ne’er held possession in his breast; So long attending at the gate, Disdain’d to enter in so late.

Love, why do we one passion call?

When ’tis a compound of them all; Where hot and cold, where sharp and sweet, In all their equipages meet;

Where pleasures mixed with pains appear, Sorrow with joy, and hope with fear.

Wherein his dignity and age

Forbid Cadenus to engage.

But friendship in its greatest height, A constant, rational delight, On virtue’s basis fixed to last, When love’s allurements long are past; Which gently warms, but cannot burn; He gladly offers in return;

His want of passion will redeem, With gratitude, respect, esteem; With that devotion we bestow, When goddesses appear below.

While thus Cadenus entertains Vanessa in exalted strains,

The nymph in sober words intreats A truce with all sublime conceits.

For why such raptures, flights, and fancies, To her who durst not read romances; In lofty style to make replies, Which he had taught her to despise?

But when her tutor will affect Devotion, duty, and respect,

He fairly abdicates his throne, Cadenus And Vanessa

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Cadenus And Vanessa The government is now her own; He has a forfeiture incurred, She vows to take him at his word, And hopes he will not take it strange If both should now their stations change The nymph will have her turn, to be The tutor; and the pupil he:

Though she already can discern Her scholar is not apt to learn; Or wants capacity to reach

The science she designs to teach; Wherein his genius was below

The skill of every common beau; Who, though he cannot spell, is wise Enough to read a lady’s eyes?

And will each accidental glance Interpret for a kind advance.

But what success Vanessa met

Is to the world a secret yet; Whether the nymph, to please her swain, Talks in a high romantic strain; Or whether he at last descends To like with less seraphic ends; Or to compound the bus’ness, whether They temper love and books together; Must never to mankind be told, Nor shall the conscious muse unfold.

Meantime the mournful queen of love Led but a weary life above.

She ventures now to leave the skies, Grown by Vanessa’s conduct wise.

For though by one perverse event Pallas had crossed her first intent, Though her design was not obtained, Yet had she much experience gained; And, by the project vainly tried, Could better now the cause decide.

She gave due notice that both parties, CORAM REGINA PROX’ DIE MARTIS, Should at their peril without fail Come and appear, and save their bail.

All met, and silence thrice proclaimed, One lawyer to each side was named.

The judge discovered in her face Resentments for her late disgrace; And, full of anger, shame, and grief, Directed them to mind their brief; Nor spend their time to show their reading, She’d have a summary proceeding.

She gathered under every head, The sum of what each lawyer said; Cadenus And Vanessa

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Cadenus And Vanessa Gave her own reasons last; and then Decreed the cause against the men.

But, in a weighty case like this, To show she did not judge amiss, Which evil tongues might else report, She made a speech in open court; Wherein she grievously complains,

“How she was cheated by the swains.”

On whose petition (humbly showing That women were not worth the wooing, And that unless the sex would mend, The race of lovers soon must end);

“She was at Lord knows what expense, To form a nymph of wit and sense; A model for her sex designed, Who never could one lover find, She saw her favour was misplaced; The follows had a wretched taste; She needs must tell them to their face, They were a senseless, stupid race; And were she to begin again,

She’d study to reform the men; Or add some grains of folly more To women than they had before.

To put them on an equal foot; And this, or nothing else, would do’t.

This might their mutual fancy strike, Since every being loves its like.

But now, repenting what was done, She left all business to her son; She puts the world in his possession, And let him use it at discretion.”

The crier was ordered to dismiss The court, so made his last O yes!

The goddess would no longer wait, But rising from her chair of state, Left all below at six and seven, Harnessed her doves, and flew to Heaven.

Cadenus And Vanessa

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