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Captain Stormfield’s Visit To Heaven by Mark Twain

its best, for there’s where his enjoyment is best, and his ways

most set and established.”

“Does a chap of twenty-five stay always twenty-five, and look it?”

“If he is a fool, yes. But if he is bright, and ambitious and

industrious, the knowledge he gains and the experiences he has,

change his ways and thoughts and likings, and make him find his

best pleasure in the company of people above that age; so he allows

his body to take on that look of as many added years as he needs to

make him comfortable and proper in that sort of society; he lets

his body go on taking the look of age, according as he progresses,

and by and by he will be bald and wrinkled outside, and wise and

deep within.”

“Babies the same?”

“Babies the same. Laws, what asses we used to be, on earth, about

these things! We said we’d be always young in heaven. We didn’t

say HOW young – we didn’t think of that, perhaps – that is, we

didn’t all think alike, anyway. When I was a boy of seven, I

suppose I thought we’d all be twelve, in heaven; when I was twelve,

I suppose I thought we’d all be eighteen or twenty in heaven; when

I was forty, I begun to go back; I remember I hoped we’d all be

about THIRTY years old in heaven. Neither a man nor a boy ever

thinks the age he HAS is exactly the best one – he puts the right

age a few years older or a few years younger than he is. Then he

makes that ideal age the general age of the heavenly people. And

he expects everybody TO STICK at that age – stand stock-still – and

expects them to enjoy it! – Now just think of the idea of standing

still in heaven! Think of a heaven made up entirely of hoop-

rolling, marble-playing cubs of seven years! – or of awkward,

diffident, sentimental immaturities of nineteen! – or of vigorous

people of thirty, healthy-minded, brimming with ambition, but

chained hand and foot to that one age and its limitations like so

many helpless galley-slaves! Think of the dull sameness of a

society made up of people all of one age and one set of looks,

habits, tastes and feelings. Think how superior to it earth would

be, with its variety of types and faces and ages, and the

enlivening attrition of the myriad interests that come into

pleasant collision in such a variegated society.”

“Look here,” says I, “do you know what you’re doing?”

“Well, what am I doing?”

“You are making heaven pretty comfortable in one way, but you are

playing the mischief with it in another.”

“How d’you mean?”

“Well,” I says, “take a young mother that’s lost her child, and – ”

“Sh!” he says. “Look!”

It was a woman. Middle-aged, and had grizzled hair. She was

walking slow, and her head was bent down, and her wings hanging

limp and droopy; and she looked ever so tired, and was crying, poor

thing! She passed along by, with her head down, that way, and the

tears running down her face, and didn’t see us. Then Sandy said,

low and gentle, and full of pity:

“SHE’S hunting for her child! No, FOUND it, I reckon. Lord, how

she’s changed! But I recognized her in a minute, though it’s

twenty-seven years since I saw her. A young mother she was, about

twenty two or four, or along there; and blooming and lovely and

sweet? oh, just a flower! And all her heart and all her soul was

wrapped up in her child, her little girl, two years old. And it

died, and she went wild with grief, just wild! Well, the only

comfort she had was that she’d see her child again, in heaven –

‘never more to part,’ she said, and kept on saying it over and

over, ‘never more to part.’ And the words made her happy; yes,

they did; they made her joyful, and when I was dying, twenty-seven

years ago, she told me to find her child the first thing, and say

she was coming – ‘soon, soon, VERY soon, she hoped and believed!'”

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Categories: Twain, Mark
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