The show will be presented at 8 p.m. in the Rare Animal Pavilion, and will feature color slides, videotapes, rare outdoor film footage and a Claymation exhibit. Admission is $4 for adults, $2.50 for children.
Kingsbury reread the press release as they jolted down the cart path with Jake Harp at the wheel. When they stopped next to his golf ball, Kingsbury shoved the paper back at Chelsea. “It sounds awfully damn…what’s the word?”
“Authentic, sir. This is what we’re up against.”
“I mean, hell, it sure puts me off the candy machines.”
“It’s fooling the reporters, too,” Chelsea said.
“You say this maniac’s got—what, two goddamn boxes?”
“That’s what’s missing.”
Jake Harp said, “If you’re not going to play that lie, pick the damn thing up.”
Kingsbury paid no attention. “I guess we’ll need—obviously, what am I saying!—get a new letterhead for Publicity.”
“I ordered it this morning,” Chelsea reported. “I’m afraid it won’t be ready for two weeks.”
“Don’t tell me—God, two weeks. So what do we do if your theory’s right? If it’s Winder, I mean.” Kingsbury took his stance and rifled a six-iron dead into the heart of a tea-colored pond.
“See what happens when you run your mouth,” said Jake Harp.
“The options are limited,” Chelsea told Kingsbury. “Do we come right out and admit it’s a fake? A disgruntled former employee, blah, blah, blah. Or do we roll with it? Take the hit and hope it’s over.”
“Is that your advice? Roll with it?”
“For now, yes.”
“Me, too,” Francis Kingsbury said. “Besides, Pedro’s on the case.” A brand-new golf ball appeared in Kingsbury’s right hand, and he dropped it with a flourish on the fairway. This time he nailed the six-iron to the center of the green, fifteen feet from the flag.
Jake Harp blinked sullenly and said nothing.
A duel.
That’s how Charles Chelsea saw it. The ultimate test of skills.
He warmed up the word processor and began to write:
The outbreak of viral hepatitis among performers at the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills was not as serious as first believed, according to a respected epidemiologist who visited the popular tourist attraction Friday.
The disease was confined to only four persons, none of whom became seriously ill, according to Dr. Neil Shulman, an international expert on liver pathology.
“Visitors to the Amazing Kingdom are in absolutely no danger,” Dr. Shulman declared. “There’s no evidence that the disease originated here. The food and beverages I’ve sampled are perfectly safe—and tasty, too!”
Initially it was believed that five persons were infected with hepatitis. Later, however, it was determined that one of the ill employees was actually suffering from gallstones, a common and non-transmittable disorder.
The four men who were diagnosed with hepatitis all began showing symptoms on Wednesday morning. Contrary to earlier reports, however, the victims did not contract the virus from contaminated candy purchased at a vending machine in the Amazing Kingdom. It is now believed that the men—all of whom portray members of Uncle Ely’s Elves—became infected during a recent promotional trip to the Caribbean aboard a Nassau-based cruise ship.
Moe Strickland, the crusty character actor who immortalized the character of Uncle Ely, recalled how some of his troupe had complained of “funky-tasting lobster” during the four-day excursion. Viral hepatitis has an incubation period of 15 to 45 days.
Those who were stricken spent only one night in the hospital, and are now resting comfortably at home. Although their conditions are good, they will not return to work until doctors are sure that they are not contagious.
Dr. Shulman, who has written extensively for national medical journals, said he is certain that the disease has been contained, and that no other employees or visitors to the Amazing Kingdom are in jeopardy. “It’s as safe as can be,” he said. “In fact, I’m staying over the weekend myself so I can ride the new porpoise!”
Skimming the text, Charles Chelsea changed the word “outbreak” to “incidence.” Then, with uncharacteristic fire, he punched the Send button.
To an invisible enemy he snarled, “All right, Joey. It’s go time.”
The queasy feeling that always accompanied the prospect of bad publicity had given way to a fresh sense of challenge; Chelsea felt he’d been training his whole professional life for such a test. He was up against an opponent who was talented, ruthless and quite possibly insane.