Carl Hiaasen – Native Tongue

Danny Pogue looked lamely toward his partner. Bud Schwartz said, “Look, we just asked for.22s. The guy didn’t say nothin” about long or short.”

“It’s all right,” Molly McNamara said. “I’ll pick up a box at the range next week.”

“We don’t know diddly about guns,” Danny Pogue reiterated. “Neither of us do.”

“I know, and I think it’s precious.” Molly put on her rose-framed glasses and instructed Bud Schwartz to adjust the volume on the television. A nurse came in to check the dressing on Molly’s stitches, but Molly shooed her away. She pointed at the TV and said, “Look here, boys.”

The news opened with videotape of a colossal raging fire. The scene had been recorded at a great distance, and from a helicopter. When the TV reporter announced what was burning, the burglars simultaneously looked at one another and mouthed the same profane exclamation.

“Yes,” Molly McNamara said rapturously. “Yes, indeed.”

Danny Pogue felt mixed emotions as he watched the Amazing Kingdom burn. He recalled the gaiety of the promenade, the friendliness of the animal characters, the circus colors and brassy music, the wondrous sensation of being inundated with fun. Then he thought of Francis X. Kingsbury killing off the butterflies and crocodiles, and the conflagration seemed more like justice than tragedy.

Bud Schwartz was equally impressed by the destruction of the theme park—not as a moral lesson, but as a feat of brazen criminality. The torch artist had been swift and thorough; the place was engulfed in roaring, implacable flames, and there was no saving it. The man on TV said he had never witnessed such a fierce, fast-moving blaze. Bud Schwartz felt relieved and lucky and wise.

“And you wanted to stay,” he said to Danny Pogue. “You wanted to ride the Jungle Jerry again.”

Danny Pogue nodded solemnly and slid the chair close to the television. “We could be dead,” he murmured.

“Fried,” said his partner. “Fried clams.”

“Hush now,” Molly said. “There’s no call for melodrama.”

She announced that she wasn’t going to ask why they’d gone to the Amazing Kingdom that night. “I don’t like to pry,” she said. “You’re grown men, you’ve got your own lives.”

Danny Pogue said, “It wasn’t us who torched the place.”

Molly McNamara smiled as if she already knew. “How’s your foot, Danny?”

“It don’t hardly hurt at all.”

Then to Bud Schwartz: “And your hand? Is it better?”

“Gettin” there,” he said, flexing the fingers.

Molly removed her glasses and rested her head against the pillows. “Nature is a wonder,” she said. “Such power to renew, or to destroy. It’s an awesome paradox.”

“A what?” said Danny Pogue.

Molly told them to think of the fire as a natural purge, a cyclical scouring of the land. Bud Schwartz could hardly keep a straight face. He jerked his chin toward the flickering images on television, and said, “So maybe it’s spontaneous combustion, huh? Maybe a bolt a lightning?”

“Anything’s possible,” Molly said with a twinkle. She asked Danny Pogue to switch to the Discovery Channel, which just happened to be showing a documentary about endangered Florida manatees. A mating scene was in progress as Danny Pogue adjusted the color tint.

Not tonight, thought Bud Schwartz, and got up to excuse himself.

Molly said, “There’s a Dodgers game on ESPN. You can watch across the hall in Mr. McMillan’s room—he is in what they call a nonresponsive state, so he probably won’t mind.”

“Swell,” Bud Schwartz muttered. “Maybe we’ll go halfsies on a keg.”

Danny Pogue heard none of this; he was already glued to the tube. Bud Schwartz pointed at his partner and grinned. “Look what you done to him.”

Molly McNamara winked. “Go on now,” she said. “I think Ojeda’s pitching.”

Trooper Jim Tile braked sharply when he saw the three green Jeeps. The wildlife officers had parked in a precise triangle at the intersection of Card Sound Road and County 905.

“We’ll be out of the way in a minute,” said Sergeant Mark Dyerson.

The rangers had gathered between the trucks in the center of the makeshift triangle. Jim Tile joined them. He noticed dogs pacing in the back of one of the Jeeps.

“Look at this,” Sergeant Dyerson said.

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