“My middle name,” said Joe Winder.
In the first draft of the press release, he wrote:
Orky the killer whale, a popular but unpredictable performer at the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, died suddenly last night after asphyxiating on a foreign object.
Chelsea sent the press release back, marked energetically in red ink.
In the second draft, Joe Winder wrote:
Orky the whale, one of the most colorful animal stars at the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, passed away last night of sudden respiratory complications.
Chelsea returned it with a few editing suggestions in blue ink.
In the third draft, Winder began:
Lovable Orky the whale, one of the most colorful and free-spirited animal stars at the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, was found dead in his tank this morning. While pathologists conducted tests to determine the cause of death, Francis X. Kingsbury, founder of the popular family theme park, expressed deep sorrow over the sudden loss of this majestic creature.
“We had come to love and admire Orky,” Kingsbury said. “He was as much a part of our family as Robbie Raccoon or Petey Possum.”
Joe Winder sent the press release up to Charles Chelsea’s office and decided not to wait for more revisions. He announced that he was going home early to have his testicles reattached.
Before leaving the park, Winder stopped at a pay phone near the Magic Mansion and made a few calls. One of the calls was to an old newspaper source who worked at the Dade County Medical Examiner’s Office. Another call was to the home of Mrs. Will Koocher, where a friend said she’d already gone back to Ithaca to await her husband’s coffin. A third phone call went to Nina at home, who listened to Joe Winder’s sad story of the dead vole doctor, and said: “So the new job isn’t working out, is that what you’re saying?”
“In a nutshell, yes.”
“If you ask me, your attitude is contributing to the problem.”
Joe Winder spotted the acne-speckled face of Pedro Luz, peering suspiciously from behind a Snappy-the-Troll photo gazebo, where tourists were lined up to buy Japanese film and cameras. Pedro Luz was again sucking on the business end of an intravenous tube; the tube snaked up to a bottle that hung from a movable metal sling. Whenever Pedro Luz took a step, the IV rig would roll after him. The liquid dripping from the bottle was the color of weak chicken soup.
Joe Winder said to Nina: “My attitude is not a factor.”
“Joe, you sound…”
“Yes?”
“Different. You sound different.”
“Charlie made me lie in the press release.”
“And this comes as a shock? Joe, it’s a whole different business from before. We talked about this at length when you took the job.”
“I can fudge the attendance figures and not lose a minute of sleep. Covering up a murder is something else.”
On Nina’s end he heard the rustling of paper. “I want to read you something,” she said.
“Not now, please.”
“Joe, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”
Winder glanced over toward the Snappy photo gazebo, but Pedro Luz had slipped out of sight.
Nina began to read:
Last night I dreamed I fell asleep on a diving board; the highest one, fifty meters. It was a hot steamy day, so I took my top off and lay down. I was so high up that no one but the sea gulls could see me. The sun felt wonderful. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep—
“Not ‘meters,’ ” Winder cut in. ” ‘Meters’ is not a sexy word.”
Nina kept going:
When I awoke, you were standing over me, naked and brown from the sun. I tried to move but I couldn’t—you had used the top of my bikini to tie my hands to the board. I was helpless, yet afraid to struggle…we were up so high. But then you knelt between my legs and told me not to worry. Before long, I forgot where we were….
“Not bad.” Joe Winder tried to sound encouraging, but the thought of trying to have sex on a high diving board made his stomach pitch.
Nina said: “I want to leave something to the imagination. Not like Miriam, she’s unbelievable. I took chew in my mouth and sock like a typhoon.”