M: Answer: continue to deny, and continue to not accept herself! (This has been going on as a process since our initial interactions circa 1981-82.)
M: Until last Wednesday evening.
M: Again there was a link, privately with her in isolation. All privacy between us was vacated as it must be during the melding of selves. (By comparison, the “intimacy” of sex is analogous to a simple pro-forma handshake.) Using this form as a tool, and after perhaps five hours the latter two of which included her husband, the corner was turned and her life, her very existence, has been altered forever. She will conjoin the consortium that includes myself, and that process has already started.
M: I talked to her husband late yesterday, and he said that the change was remarkable and continuing. Thursday night, she spontaneously saw her cocoon and started interacting to move it’s energy forms.
M: It’s much easier after an irrevocable commit is made. ———–
Dialogue On The Way Of Knowledge – Part Vl
I’ve added, what I’m calling, Dialogue on the Way of Knowledge, to my site, Carlos Castaneda’s don Juan’s Teachings. It began Mon, Jun 28th, 1999, when I received an E-mail from Michael. I will use “M:” to begin his comments, R: to begin mine. This is part six of the dialogue. It continues where part V left off.
—————–
R: This report of the apprentice “pushing down” her husband has reminded me of something I’ve meant to inform you of:
R: It happened while in Japan, sleeping in the same room with my wife and daughter around 1994 or 1995. It was, perhaps, the strangest bit of dreaming I’ve ever done as it manifested as sound through my physical sleeping body. I was in a dream, in a room with my wife in the dream, and I was fully aware that I was dreaming and aware that my wife in the dream was unaware of my presence there in the dream with her. That is, again: I was doing volitional dreaming, I was in a room with my wife and she could not see or hear me. I decided to “intend” for her to hear me by voicing very very loudly the words, “I intend for you to hear me.” I’d been reading during waking hours, The Art of Dreaming where it was recommended that one scream out one’s intent in a dream. So, anyway, I attempted to say very very loudly “I intend.” Upon doing that I was aware that something strange had just happened. I was still in the dream but I was aware of the fact that, I guess, I willed myself to vocalize through my physical body but without any muscle control over the mouth-tongue that would make speech intelligable and I heard it in the dream my “I intend” as a garbled “hhii-iinnhenn” … just like “I intend” would sound if your tongue and lips did not move as you tried to say it.
R: Not realizing, at that point in the dream, that I’d actually forced that sound out of my sleeping body, I decided to add more power to it and say the whole thing, which I then did, shouting to my wife in the dream, “I intend for you to hear me” Well, this time a much louder sound came out of my physical body and it woke me up, and my wife and my daughter, and my daughter made kind of a scarred-child sound and my wife was afraid and I then started apologizing for scaring them and tried to explain that I’d just had a strange dream so that they would not think I was possessed or something as the sound I’d produced was not from “me.” It was strange, to say the least, and I decided right then that that was the end of yelling my intent in dreams. I had actually, through my dreaming self, “pushed” a sound out of my physical body but employing only vocal cords and breath. Very very strange sound, but the full sentence, “I intend for you to hear me.” She heard me all right, but it wasn’t in the dream! “hhi (I) ihhenn (intend) hhurr (for) uuh (you) huu (to) hhirr (hear) heee (me)” in a strange LOUD DEEP voice.
M: My approach, in practice prior to the fact of 2nd – 3rd attention actions, was to “practice” the intensity of the command – without verbalization. This approach started in meditation. The result was that while my consciousness was still occupying my body, I could “clearly hear” my interactions with others, but with no physical artifact. In the 3rd attention, when the consciousness is NOT in the body, the same action results is a very powerful expression. The first time I was in the 3rd attention, and being tested by others in the consortium, I placed intense energy (way over-reaction) into the statement prompted by “the others” as my response. The result was the it seemed that the entire universe resonated very clearly – crisp clarity – with my “sound” which was only energy of communication. For a while, I used this “sound” as an indicator of how to modulate my energy, and for that matter, as confirmation that I was indeed within the 3rd attention. Since that time, I’ve learned how to “modulate” myself so that the energy required is more proportional to the circumstance. By the time of my clinical deaths, it was very proportional and soft in approach.
R: Well, to complete the set of the top three dreams I’ve had:
R: This third one (the first being the “muddy hole” dream) was around 1989-92. I woke up in the morning and the cat was on the bed, so I took the cat down stairs and put it outside on the front porch. It was dawn and a light humid rain was falling. I went back upstairs and got back into bed and was lying there suddenly aware that I’d not just done that, it had been a dream, we didn’t have a cat. I got up to go in and check on my daughter in her room and when I returned to bed was struck by the 100% equalness of the two memories: taking the cat out, and going to check on my daughter. They both had the exact same realness in my memory; it was about two hours before dawn.
R: I just remembered a whole series of dreams I could group together as #4. Those were the ones I discribed before of holding onto another being while lying in bed “awake” and how it was just recently that I realized that the me that was holding onto the other was actually the dreaming me but at a point so close to the real me that for years I did not know the difference and for those years had actually “known” that I’d had my “real” head massaged by one of these beings and that I’d held one of these beings.
R: Sorry for getting off track, I intended to just relate the pushed out voice experience and ask what you make of that.
M: As you open more, there will be more discovery and again you will find with absent blocks and boundaries, it was “natural” all along.
M: Here is a file on commitment. Perhaps you might be interested in printing it out and keeping it in view as a reminder: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back: always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’ W.H. Murray, 1951 The Scottish Himalayan Expedition.”
———-
R: I’ve believed that I was doing the right thing by doing the health approach my way based on the arguement of trusting that the body is doing what it needs to do to survive, therefore, cutting something away would actually be counter to the bodies best interest. But I’ve stopped talking about it to you as it seemed you were not willing to acknowledge that possibility in a way that would have it outweigh the knife.
M: The only real point that I’ve attempted to make is that since the matter is truly threatening, and that any time limits on your process might preclude “getting the evolutionary job completed”, it seems logical if not impeccable to leave as little to chance as possible. The fact that the body in surface legions like you report, doesn’t “see” the treat until the cell count simply explodes to the point where it overwhelms the immune system, tends to make the “body can do this” statement less effective. If it were “my body” at risk, I would simply employ every possible approach to maximize my time.