always the intellect that fools us, because it receives the mes-
sage first, but rather than giving it credence and acting on it
immediately, it dallies with it instead.
I heard then, or perhaps I felt, a snapping sound at the base
of my neck, right behind my windpipe. I knew that she had
cracked my neck. My ears buzzed and then they tingled. I
experienced an exceptional clarity of hearing. I thought that
I must be dying. I loathed my incapacity to do anything to
defend myself. I could not even move a muscle to kick her. I
was unable to breathe anymore. My body shivered, and sud-
denly I stood up and was free, out of her deadly grip. I looked
down on the bed. I seemed to be looking down from the
ceiling. I saw my body, motionless and limp on top of hers.
I saw horror in her eyes. I wanted her to let go of the noose. I
had a fit of wrath for having been so stupid and hit her smack
on the forehead with my fist. She shrieked and held her head
and then passed out, but before she did I caught a fleeting
glimpse of a phantasmagoric scene. I saw dona Soledad being
hurled out of the bed by the force of my blow. I saw her run-
ning toward the wall and huddling up against it like a fright-
ened child.
The next impression I had was of having a terrible difficulty
in breathing. My neck hurt. My throat seemed to have dried
up so intensely that I could not swallow. It took me a long
time to gather enough strength to get up. I then examined
dona Soledad. She was lying unconscious on the bed. She had
an enormous red lump on her forehead. I got some water and
splashed it on her face, the way don Juan had always done
with me. When she regained consciousness I made her walk,
holding her by the armpits. She was soaked in perspiration. I
applied towels with cold water on her forehead. She threw
up, and I was almost sure she had a brain concussion. She was
shivering. I tried to pile clothes and blankets over her for
warmth but she took off all her clothes and turned her body
to face the wind. She asked me to leave her alone and said that
if the wind changed direction, it would be a sign that she was
going to get well. She held my hand in a sort of brief hand-
shake and told me that it was fate that had pitted us against
each other.
I think one of us was supposed to die tonight, she said.
Don’t be silly. You’re not finished yet, I said and really
meant it.
Something made me feel confident that she was all right. I
went outside, picked up a stick and walked to my car. The
dog growled. He was still curled up on the seat. I told him to
get out. He meekly jumped out. There was something differ-
ent about him. I saw his enormous shape trotting away in the
semidarkness. He went to his corral.
I was free. I sat in the car for a moment to deliberate. No, I
was not free. Something was pulling me back into the house.
I had unfinished business there. I was no longer afraid of
dona Soledad. In fact, an extraordinary indifference had taken
possession of me. I felt that she had given me, deliberately or
unconsciously, a supremely important lesson. Under the hor-
rendous pressure of her attempt to kill me, I had actually acted
upon her from a level that would have been inconceivable
under normal circumstances. I had nearly been strangled;
something in that confounded room of hers had rendered me
helpless and yet I had extricated myself. I could not imagine
what had happened. Perhaps it was as don Juan had always
maintained, that all of us have an extra potential, something
which is there but rarely gets to be used. I had actually hit
dona Soledad from a phantom position.
I took my flashlight from the car, went back into the house,
lit all the kerosene lanterns I could find and sat down at the
table in the front room to write. Working relaxed me.
Toward dawn dona Soledad stumbled out of her room. She
could hardly keep her balance. She was completely naked.
She became ill and collapsed by the door. I gave her some
water and tried to cover her with a blanket. She refused it. I
became concerned with the possibility of her losing body heat.
She muttered that she had to be naked if she expected the wind
to cure her. She made a plaster of mashed leaves, applied it to
her forehead and fixed it in place with her turban. She wrapped
a blanket around her body and came to the table where I was
writing and sat down facing me. Her eyes were red. She
looked truly sick.
There is something I must tell you, she said in a weak
voice. The Nagual set me up to wait for you; I had to wait
even if it took twenty years. He gave me instructions on how
to entice you and steal your power. He knew that sooner or
later you had to come to see Pablito and Nestor, so he told me
to use that opportunity to bewitch you and take everything
you have. The Nagual said that if I lived an impeccable life
my power would bring you here when there would be no one
else in the house. My power did that. Today you came when
everybody was gone. My impeccable life had helped me. All
that was left for me to do was to take your power and then
kill you.
But why would you want to do such a horrible thing?
Because I need your power for my own journey. The
Nagual had to set it up that way. You had to be the one; after
all, I really don’t know you. You mean nothing to me. So why
shouldn’t I take something I need so desperately from some-
one who doesn’t count at all? Those were the Nagual’s very
words.
Why would the Nagual want to hurt me? You yourself
said that he worried about me.
What I’ve done to you tonight has nothing to do with
what he feels for you or myself. This is only between the two
of us. There have been no witnesses to what took place today
between the two of us, because both of us are part of the
Nagual himself. But you in particular have received and kept
something of him that I don’t have, something that I need
desperately, the special power that he gave you. The Nagual
said that he had given something to each of his six children. I
can’t reach Eligio. I can’t take it from my girls, so that leaves
you as my prey. I made the power the Nagual gave me grow,
and in growing it changed my body. You made your power
grow too. I wanted that power from you and for that I had to
kill you. The Nagual said that even if you didn’t die, you
would fall under my spell and become my prisoner for life if
I wanted it so. Either way, your power was going to be mine.
But how could my death benefit you?
Not your death but your power. I did it because I need a
boost; without it I will have a hellish time on my journey. I
don’t have enough guts. That’s why I dislike la Gorda. She’s
young and has plenty of guts. I’m old and have second
thoughts and doubts. If you want to know the truth, the real
struggle is between Pablito and myself. He is my mortal
enemy, not you. The Nagual said that your power could make
my journey easier and help me get what I need.
How on earth can Pablito be your enemy?
When the Nagual changed me, he knew what would even-
tually happen. First of all, he set me up so my eyes would face
the north, and although you and my girls are the same, I
am the opposite of you people. I go in a different direction.
Pablito, Nestor and Benigno are with you; the direction of
their eyes is the same as yours. All of you will go together
toward Yucatan.
Pablito is my enemy not because his eyes were set in the
opposite direction, but because he is my son. This is what I had
to tell you, even though you don’t know what I am talking
about. I have to enter into the other world. Where the Nagual
is now. Where Genaro and Eligio are now. Even if I have to
destroy Pablito to do that.
What are you saying, dona Soledad? You’re crazy!