Castaneda, Carlos – The Second Ring of Power

Lidia would be the west, Josefina, the east, Rosa, the south and

she, the north. The other alternative was for us to change our

direction and face the south but without turning around. That

was the alternative of power, and it entailed putting on out

second face.

I told la Gorda that I did not understand what our second

face was. She said that she had been entrusted by the Nagual

to try getting the second attention of all of us bundled up to-

gether, and that every Toltec warrior had two faces and faced

two opposite directions. The second face was the second at-

tention.

La Gorda suddenly released her grip. All the others did the

same. She sat down again and motioned me to sit by her. The

little sisters remained standing. La Gorda asked me if every-

thing was clear to me. It was, and at the same time it was not.

Before I had time to formulate a question, she blurted out that

one of the last things the Nagual had entrusted her to tell me

was that I had to change my direction by summing up my

second attention together with theirs, and put on my power

face to see what was behind me.

La Gorda stood up and motioned me to follow her. She led

me to the door of their room. She gently pushed me into the

room. Once I had crossed the threshold, Lidia, Rosa, Josefina

and she joined me, in that order, and then la Gorda closed the

door.

The room was very dark. It did not seem to have any win-

dows. La Gorda grabbed me by the arm and placed me in what

I thought was the center of the room. All of them surrounded

me. I could not see them at all; I could only feel them flanking

me on four sides.

After a while my eyes became accustomed to the darkness.

I could see that the room had two windows which had been

blocked off by panels. A bit of light came through them and I

could distinguish everybody. Then all of them held me the

way they had done a few minutes before, and in perfect

unison they placed their heads against mine. I could feel their

hot breaths all around me. I closed my eyes in order to sum up

the image of my gazing. I could not do it. I felt very tired and

sleepy. My eyes itched terribly; I wanted to rub them, but

Lidia and Josefina held my arms tightly.

We stayed in that position for a very long time. My fatigue

was unbearable and finally I slumped. I thought that my knees

had given in. I had the feeling that I was going to collapse on

the floor and fall asleep right there. But there was no floor. In

fact, there was nothing underneath me. My fright upon real-

izing that was so intense that I was fully awake in an instant; a

force greater than my fright, however, pushed me back into

that sleepy state again. I abandoned myself. I was floating with

them like a balloon. It was as if I had fallen asleep and was

dreaming and in that dream I saw a series of disconnected

images. We were no longer in the darkness of their room.

There was so much light that it blinded me. At times I could

see Rosa’s face against mine; out of the corner of my eyes I

could also see Lidia’s and Josefina’s. I could feel their fore-

heads pressed hard against my ears. And then the image would

change and I would see instead la Gorda’s face against mine.

Every time that happened she would put her mouth on mine

and breathe. I did not like that at all. Some force in me tried

to get loose. I felt terrified. I tried to push all of them away.

The harder I tried, the harder they held me. That convinced

me that la Gorda had tricked me and had finally led me into a

death trap. But contrary to the others la Gorda had been an

impeccable player. The thought that she had played an im-

peccable hand made me feel better. At one point I did not

care to struggle any longer. I became curious about the mo-

ment of my death, which I believed was imminent, and I let

go of myself. I experienced then an unequaled joy, an exuber-

ance that I was sure was the herald of my end, if not my death

itself. I pulled Lidia and Josefina even closer to me. At that

moment la Gorda was in front of me. I did not mind that she

was breathing in my mouth; in fact I was surprised that she

stopped then. The instant she did, all of them also stopped

pressing their heads on mine. They began to look around and

by so doing they also freed my head. I could move it. Lidia,

la Gorda and Josefina were so close to me that I could see only

through the opening in between their heads. I could not figure

out where we were. One thing I was certain of, we were not

standing on the ground. We were in the air. Another thing I

knew for sure was that we had shifted our order. Lidia was to

my left and Josefina, to my right. La Gorda’s face was covered

with perspiration and so were Lidia’s and Josefina’s. I could

only feel Rosa behind me. I could see her hands coming from

my armpits and holding onto my shoulders.

La Gorda was saying something I could not hear. She enun-

ciated her words slowly as if she were giving me time to read

her lips, but I got caught up in the details of her mouth. At one

instant I felt that the four of them were moving me; they were

deliberately rocking me. That forced me to pay attention to

la Gorda’s silent words. I clearly read her lips this time. She

was telling me to turn around. I tried but my head seemed to

be fixed. I felt that someone was biting my lips. I watched la

Gorda. She was not biting me but she was looking at me as

she mouthed her command to turn my head around. As she

talked, I also felt that she was actually licking my entire face

or biting my lips and cheeks.

La Gorda’s face was somehow distorted. It looked big and

yellowish. I thought that perhaps since the whole scene was

yellowish, her face was reflecting that glow. I could almost

hear her ordering me to turn my head around. Finally the

annoyance that the biting was causing me made me shake my

head. And suddenly the sound of la Gorda’s voice became

clearly audible. She was in back of me and she was yelling at

me to turn my attention around. Rose was the one who was

licking my face. I pushed her away from my face with my

forehead. Rosa was weeping. Her face was covered with per-

spiration. I could hear la Gorda’s voice behind me. She said

that I had exhausted them by fighting them and that she did

not know what to do to catch our original attention. The little

sisters were whining.

My thoughts were crystal clear. My rational processes, how-

ever, were not deductive. I knew things quickly and directly

and there was no doubt of any sort in my mind. For instance,

I knew immediately that I had to go back to sleep again, and

that that would make us plummet down. But I also knew that

I had to let them bring us to their house. I was useless for

that. If I could focus my second attention at all, it had to be on

a place that don Juan had given me in northern Mexico. I had

always been able to picture it in my mind like nothing else in

the world. I did not dare to sum up that vision. I knew that we

would have ended up there.

I thought that I had to tell la Gorda what I knew, but I

could not talk. Yet some part of me knew that she understood.

I trusted her implicitly and I fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

In my dream I was looking at the kitchen of their house. Pa-

blito, Nestor and Benigno were there. They looked extraordi-

narily large and they glowed. I could not focus my eyes on

them, because a sheet of transparent plastic material was in

between them and myself. Then I realized that it was as if I

were looking at them through a glass window while somebody

was throwing water on the glass. Finally the glass shattered

and the water hit me in the face.

Pablito was drenching me with a bucket. Nestor and Be-

nigno were also standing there. La Gorda, the little sisters and

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