“Think it’d change your mind?”
“No. Not necessarily. But I think it says something about no trust.”
“First name’s Sandor.”
A lift of both dark brows. “Not Ed, then.”
“No.”
“Just—no. Nothing further, eh?”
He shrugged. “You’re right. It’s not dockside, is it?” He looked into dark eyes
the same that he had seen one night in a Viking bar, and he was as lost, as
dammed up inside. “Can’t break things up when they get tangled.”
“Can’t,” she said. “So you understand it: I might sleepover with you when we get
to Venture. I might sleepover with someone else instead. You follow that? I
came. But if you reckon I came with the loan, figure again.”
“I never,” he said, “never figured that.”
She nodded. “So we take this a little slower, a lot slower.”
“So suppose I say I’d like to take it up again at Venture.”
She stared at him a moment, and some of the tenseness went out of her shoulders.
“All right,” she said. “All right. I like that idea.”
“Like?”
“I’m just not comfortable with it the other way.”
“Might change your mind someday?”
“Ah. Don’t push.”
“I’m not pushing. I’m asking whether you might see it differently.”
“The way you look at me, Stevens—”
“Sandor.”
“—makes me wonder.”
“I understand how you feel. About being on the ship. Maybe my talking like that,
in front of the others back there—is a good example of what you’re worried
about. I didn’t think how it went out. I know you know what you’re doing. I just
had my mind full… I’ve just got some things with the ship I haven’t got straight
yet. Things—never mind. I just have to get over the way I’m used to doing
things. And dealing with the kind of crew I’m used to getting.”
She tightened her mouth in a grimace that looked preparatory to saying
something, exhaled then. It seemed to have slipped her. “All right. I understand
that too. You mind fixing comp in my quarters while we’re at it?”
His heart did a thump, attack from an unexpected direction. “I’ll get it
straightened out. Promise you. After jump.”
“Security locks?”
They seemed like a good thing when I had unlicensed crew aboard.”
“Well, it’s a matter of the comp keys, isn’t it?”
It was not a conversation he wanted. Not at all. “Look, we haven’t got time for
me to get them all down or for you to memorize them. We’re heading up on our
exit.”
“Is there something I ought to know?”
“Maybe I worry a bit when I’ve got strangers aboard. Maybe that’s a thing I’ve
got like you’ve got attitudes—”
Her back went stiff. “Maybe you’d better make that clear.”
“I don’t mean like that. I’m dead serious. That’s all I’ve got, those keys,
between me and people I really don’t know that well. And maybe that makes me
nervous.”
The offense at least faded. The wariness stayed. “Meaning you think we’d cut
your throat.”
“Meaning maybe I want to think about it.”
“Oh, that’s a little late. A little late. We’re on this ship. And we’re talking
about safety. Our safety. If something goes wrong on my watch, I want those
keys. None of this nonsense.”
“Look, let’s get through jump first. I’ll get you a list then.”
“Through jump, where we’re committed. I don’t consider the comp a negotiable
item.” She jabbed a thumb toward her cabin door. “I want my comp in there
operative. I want any safety locks in this ship off. I want the whole system
written down for all of us to memorize.”
“We haven’t got time for that. Listen to me. I’m taking Lucy through this jump;
I don’t want any question about that. I’ll see how you handle her; and then
maybe I’ll feel safe about it. You look good. But I’m reckoning you never
handled anything but sims in your life. And I’m sleeping on the bridge if I have
to, to see no one makes a mistake. I’m sorry if that ruffles your pride. But
even I haven’t a good notion of what Lucy feels like loaded.”
“Don’t you?” Suspicion. A sudden, flat seizure of attention.