Christian Science by Mark Twain

obscurities now.

Those of us who are not in the asylum, and not demonstrably due there,

are nevertheless, no doubt, insane in one or two particulars. I think we

must admit this; but I think that we are otherwise healthy-minded. I

think that when we all see one thing alike, it is evidence that, as

regards that one thing, our minds are perfectly sound. Now there are

really several things which we do all see alike; things which we all

accept, and about which we do not dispute. For instance, we who are

outside of the asylum all agree that water seeks its level; that the sun

gives light and heat; that fire consumes; that fog is damp; that six

times six are thirty-six, that two from ten leaves eight; that eight and

seven are fifteen. These are, perhaps, the only things we are agreed

about; but, although they are so few, they are of inestimable value,

because they make an infallible standard of sanity. Whosoever accepts

them him we know to be substantially sane; sufficiently sane; in the

working essentials, sane. Whoever disputes a single one of them him we

know to be wholly insane, and qualified for the asylum.

Very well, the man who disputes none of them we concede to be entitled to

go at large. But that is concession enough. We cannot go any further

than that; for we know that in all matters of mere opinion that same man

is insane–just as insane as we are; just as insane as Shakespeare was.

We know exactly where to put our finger upon his insanity: it is where

his opinion differs from ours.

That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and

unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any

question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious

matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the

Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually

insane. I cannot prove to him that he is insane, because you never can

prove anything to a lunatic–for that is a part of his insanity and the

evidence of it. He cannot prove to me that I am insane, for my mind has

the same defect that afflicts his. All Democrats are insane, but not one

of them knows it; none but the Republicans and Mugwumps know it. All the

Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats and Mugwumps can perceive

it. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are

insane. When I look around me, I am often troubled to see how many

people are mad. To mention only a few:

The Atheist, The Theosophists, The Infidel, The Swedenborgians, The

Agnostic, The Shakers, The Baptist, The Millerites, The Methodist, The

Mormons, The Christian Scientist, The Laurence Oliphant Harrisites, The

Catholic, and the 115 Christian sects, the Presbyterian excepted, The

Grand Lama’s people, The Monarchists, The Imperialists, The 72 Mohammedan

sects, The Democrats, The Republicans (but not the Mugwumps), The

Buddhist, The Blavatsky-Buddhist, The Mind-Curists, The Faith-Curists,

The Nationalist, The Mental Scientists, The Confucian, The Spiritualist,

The Allopaths, The 2000 East Indian sects, The Homeopaths, The

Electropaths, The Peculiar People, The—-

But there’s no end to the list; there are millions of them! And all

insane; each in his own way; insane as to his pet fad or opinion, but

otherwise sane and rational. This should move us to be charitable

towards one another’s lunacies. I recognize that in his special belief

the Christian Scientist is insane, because he does not believe as I do;

but I hail him as my mate and fellow, because I am as insane as he insane

from his point of view, and his point of view is as authoritative as mine

and worth as much. That is to say, worth a brass farthing. Upon a great

religious or political question, the opinion of the dullest head in the

world is worth the same as the opinion of the brightest head in the

world–a brass farthing. How do we arrive at this? It is simple. The

affirmative opinion of a stupid man is neutralized by the negative

opinion of his stupid neighbor no decision is reached; the affirmative

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *