Christian Science by Mark Twain

carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and

sword, and I believe that the new religion will conquer the half of

Christendom in a hundred years. I am not intending this as a compliment

to the human race; I am merely stating an opinion. And yet I think that

perhaps it is a compliment to the race. I keep in mind that saying of an

orthodox preacher–quoted further back. He conceded that this new

Christianity frees its possessor’s life from frets, fears, vexations,

bitterness, and all sorts of imagination-propagated maladies and pains,

and fills his world with sunshine and his heart with gladness. If

Christian Science, with this stupendous equipment–and final salvation

added–cannot win half the Christian globe, I must be badly mistaken in

the make-up of the human race.

I think the Trust will be handed down like Me other Papacy, and will

always know how to handle its limitless cash. It will press the button;

the zeal, the energy, the sincerity, the enthusiasm of its countless

vassals will do the rest.

CHAPTER VIII

The power which a man’s imagination has over his body to heal it or make

it sick is a force which none of us is born without. The first man had

it, the last one will possess it. If left to himself, a man is most

likely to use only the mischievous half of the force–the half which

invents imaginary ailments for him and cultivates them; and if he is one

of these–very wise people, he is quite likely to scoff at the beneficent

half of the force and deny its existence. And so, to heal or help that

man, two imaginations are required: his own and some outsider’s. The

outsider, B, must imagine that his incantations are the healing-power

that is curing A, and A must imagine that this is so. I think it is not

so, at all; but no matter, the cure is effected, and that is the main

thing. The outsider’s work is unquestionably valuable; so valuable that

it may fairly be likened to the essential work performed by the engineer

when he handles the throttle and turns on the steam; the actual power is

lodged exclusively in the engine, but if the engine were left alone it

would never start of itself. Whether the engineer be named Jim, or Bob,

or Tom, it is all one–his services are necessary, and he is entitled to

such wage as he can get you to pay. Whether he be named Christian

Scientist, or Mental Scientist, or Mind Curist, or King’s-Evil Expert, or

Hypnotist, it is all one; he is merely the Engineer; he simply turns on

the same old steam and the engine does the whole work.

The Christian-Scientist engineer drives exactly the same trade as the

other engineers, yet he out-prospers the whole of them put together.

Is it because he has captured the takingest name? I think that that is

only a small part of it. I think that the secret of his high prosperity

lies elsewhere.

The Christian Scientist has organized the business. Now that was

certainly a gigantic idea. Electricity, in limitless volume, has existed

in the air and the rocks and the earth and everywhere since time began–

and was going to waste all the while. In our time we have organized that

scattered and wandering force and set it to work, and backed the business

with capital, and concentrated it in few and competent hands, and the

results are as we see.

The Christian Scientist has taken a force which has been lying idle in

every member of the human race since time began, and has organized it,

and backed the business with capital, and concentrated it at Boston

headquarters in the hands of a small and very competent Trust, and there

are results.

Therein lies the promise that this monopoly is going to extend its

commerce wide in the earth. I think that if the business were conducted

in the loose and disconnected fashion customary with such things, it

would achieve but little more than the modest prosperity usually secured

by unorganized great moral and commercial ventures; but I believe that so

long as this one remains compactly organized and closely concentrated in

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