Christian Science by Mark Twain

Christian in one common brotherhood of–”

She broke in with an irritated–

“Peace! The cat feels nothing, the Christian feels nothing. Your empty

and foolish imaginings are profanation and blasphemy, and can do you an

injury. It is wiser and better and holier to recognize and confess that

there is no such thing as disease or pain or death.”

“I am full of imaginary tortures,” I said, “but I do not think I could be

any more uncomfortable if they were real ones. What must I do to get rid

of them?”

“There is no occasion to get rid of them. since they do not exist. They

are illusions propagated by matter, and matter has no existence; there is

no such thing as matter.”

“It sounds right and clear, but yet it seems in a degree elusive; it

seems to slip through, just when you think you are getting a grip on it.”

“Explain.”

“Well, for instance: if there is no such thing as matter, how can matter

propagate things?”

In her compassion she almost smiled. She would have smiled if there were

any such thing as a smile.

“It is quite simple,” she said; “the fundamental propositions of

Christian Science explain it, and they are summarized in the four

following self-evident propositions:

1. God is All in all.

2. God is good. Good is Mind

3. God, Spirit, being all, nothing is matter

4. Life, God, omnipotent Good, deny death, evil, sin, disease.

There–now you see.”

It seemed nebulous; it did not seem to say anything about the difficulty

in hand–how non-existent matter can propagate illusions I said, with

some hesitancy:

“Does–does it explain?”

“Doesn’t it? Even if read backward it will do it.”

With a budding hope, I asked her to do it backwards.

“Very well. Disease sin evil death deny Good omnipotent God life matter

is nothing all being Spirit God Mind is Good good is God all in All is

God. There do you understand now?

“It–it–well, it is plainer than it was before; still– ”

“Well?”

“Could you try it some more ways?”

“As many as you like; it always means the same. Interchanged in any way

you please it cannot be made to mean anything different from what it

means when put in any other way. Because it is perfect. You can jumble

it all up, and it makes no difference: it always comes out the way it was

before. It was a marvelous mind that produced it. As a mental tour de

force it is without a mate, it defies alike the simple, the concrete, and

the occult.”

“It seems to be a corker.”

I blushed for the word, but it was out before I could stop it.

“A what?”

“A–wonderful structure–combination, so to speak, of profound thoughts–

unthinkable ones–um–”

It is true. Read backward, or forward, or perpendicularly, or at any

given angle, these four propositions will always be found to agree in

statement and proof.”

“Ah–proof. Now we are coming at it. The statements agree; they agree

with–with–anyway, they agree; I noticed that; but what is it they prove

I mean, in particular?”

“Why, nothing could be clearer. They prove:

1. GOD–Principle, Life,

Truth, Love, Soul, Spirit, Mind. Do you get that?”

“I–well, I seem to. Go on, please.”

“2. MAN–God’s universal idea, individual, perfect, eternal. Is it

clear?”

“It–I think so. Continue.”

“3. IDEA–An image in Mind; the immediate object of understanding.

There it is–the whole sublime Arcana of Christian Science in a nutshell.

Do you find a weak place in it anywhere?”

“Well–no; it seems strong.”

“Very well There is more. Those three constitute the Scientific

Definition of Immortal Mind. Next, we have the Scientific Definition of

Mortal Mind. Thus. FIRST DEGREE: Depravity I. Physical-Passions and

appetites, fear, depraved will, pride, envy, deceit, hatred, revenge,

sin, disease, death.”

“Phantasms, madam–unrealities, as I understand it.”

“Every one. SECOND DEGREE: Evil Disappearing. I. Moral-Honesty,

affection, compassion, hope, faith, meekness, temperance. Is it clear?”

“Crystal.”

“THIRD DEGREE: Spiritual Salvation. I. Spiritual-Faith, wisdom, power,

purity, understanding, health, love. You see how searchingly and co-

ordinately interdependent and anthropomorphous it all is. In this Third

Degree, as we know by the revelations of Christian Science, mortal mind

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