‘I’m not likely to forget. But suppose – just suppose – that he hadn’t asked you. Would you have volunteered?’
‘I can answer that truthfully: No. It would never have occurred to me. President Mordecai’s call was the biggest shock of my life. But when I thought it over, I realized he was perfectly right. You know I don’t go in for false modesty. I am the best-qualified man for the job – when the space docs give their final okay. And you should know that I’m still in pretty good shape.’
That brought the smile he had intended.
‘Sometimes I wonder if you’d suggested it yourself.’
The thought had indeed occurred to him; but he could answer honestly.
‘I would never have done so without consulting you.’
‘I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t know what I’d have said.’
‘I could still turn it down.’
‘Now you’re talking nonsense, and you know it. Even if you did, you’d hate me for the rest of your life – and you’d never forgive yourself. You have too strong a sense of duty. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I married you.’
Duty! Yes, that was the key word, and what multitudes it contained. He had a duty to himself, to his family, to the University, to his past job (even though he had left it under a cloud), to his country – and to the human race. It was not easy to establish the priorities; and sometimes they conflicted with one another.
There were perfectly logical reasons why he should go on the mission – and equally logical reasons, as many of his colleagues had already pointed out, why he should not. But perhaps in the final analysis, the choice had been made by his heart, not his brain. And even here, emotion urged him in two opposite directions.
Curiosity, guilt, the determination to finish a job that had been badly botched – they all combined to drive him toward Jupiter and whatever might be waiting there. On the other hand, fear – he was honest enough to admit that – united with love of his family to keep him on Earth. Yet he had never had any real doubts; he had made his decision almost instantly, and had deflected all of Caroline’s arguments as gently as he could.
And there was one other consoling thought that he had not yet risked sharing with his wife. Though he would be gone two and a half years, all but the fifty days at Jupiter would be spent in timeless hibernation. When he returned, the gap between their ages would have narrowed by more than two years.
He would have sacrificed the present so that they could share a longer future together.
5
Leonov
The months contracted to weeks, the weeks dwindled to days, the days shrivelled to hours; and suddenly Heywood Floyd was once more at the Cape – spaceward-bound for the first time since that trip to Clavius Base and the Tycho monolith, so many years ago.
But this time he was not alone, and there was no secrecy about the mission. A few seats ahead of him rode Dr Chandra, already engaged in a dialogue with his briefcase computer, and quite oblivious to his surroundings.
One of Floyd’s secret amusements, which he had never confided to anyone, was spotting similarities between human beings and animals. The resemblances were more often flattering than insulting, and his little hobby was also a very useful aid to memory.
Dr Chandra was easy – the adjective birdlike sprang instantly to mind. He was tiny, delicate, and all his movements were swift and precise. But which bird? Obviously a very intelligent one. Magpie? Too perky and acquisitive. Owl? No – too slow-moving. Perhaps sparrow would do nicely.
Walter Curnow, the systems specialist who would have the formidable job of getting Discovery operational again, was a more difficult matter. He was a large, husky man, certainly not at all birdlike. One could usually find a match somewhere in the vast spectrum of dogs, but no canine seemed to fit. Of course – Curnow was a bear. Not the sulky, dangerous kind, but the friendly good-natured type. And perhaps this was appropriate; it reminded Floyd of the Russian colleagues he would soon be joining. They had been up in orbit for days, engaged in their final checks.
This is the great moment of my life, Floyd told himself. Now I am leaving on a mission that may determine the future of the human race. But he did not feel any sense of exultation; all he could think of, during the last minutes of the countdown, were the words he had whispered just before he had left home: ‘Goodbye, my dear little son; will you remember me when I return?’ And he still felt resentment toward Caroline because she would not awaken the sleeping child for one final embrace; yet he knew that she had been wise, and it was better that way.
His mood was shattered by a sudden explosive laugh; Dr Curnow was sharing a joke with his companions – as well as a large bottle that he handled as delicately as a barely subcritical mass of plutonium.
‘Hey, Heywood,’ he called, ‘they tell me Captain Orlova’s locked up all the drinks, so this is your last chance. Ch�teau Thierry ‘95. Sorry about the plastic cups.’
As Floyd sipped at the really superb champagne, he found himself cringing mentally at the thought of Curnow’s guffaw reverberating all the way across the Solar System. Much as he admired the engineer’s, ability, as a travelling companion Curnow might prove something of a strain. At least Dr Chandra would not present such problems; Floyd could hardly imagine him smiling, let alone laughing. And, of course, he turned down the champagne with a barely perceptible shudder. Curnow was polite enough, or glad enough, not to insist.
The engineer was, it seemed, determined to be the life and soul of the party. A few minutes later he produced a two-octave electronic keyboard, and gave rapid renderings of ‘D’ye ken John Peel’ as performed successively by piano, trombone, violin, flute, and full organ, with vocal accompaniment. He was really very good, and Floyd soon found himself singing along with the others. But it was just as well, he thought, that Curnow would spend most of the voyage in silent hibernation.
The music died with a sudden despairing discord as the engines ignited and the shuttle launched itself into the sky. Floyd was gripped by a familiar but always new exhilaration – the sense of boundless power, carrying him up and away from the cares and duties of Earth. Men knew better than they realized, when they placed the abode of the gods beyond the reach of gravity. He was flying toward that realm of weightlessness; for the moment, he would ignore the fact that out there lay not freedom, but the greatest responsibility of his career.
As the thrust increased, he felt the weight of worlds upon his shoulders – but he welcomed it, like an Atlas who had not yet tired of his burden. He did not attempt to think, but was content to savour the experience. Even if he was leaving Earth for the last time, and saying farewell to all that he had ever loved, he felt no sadness. The roar that surrounded him was a paean of triumph, sweeping away all minor emotions.
He was almost sorry when it ceased, though he welcomed the easier breathing and the sudden sense of freedom. Most of the other passengers started to unbuckle their safety straps, preparing to enjoy the thirty minutes of zero gravity during the transfer orbit, but a few who were obviously making the trip for the first time remained in their seats, looking around anxiously for the cabin attendants.
‘Captain speaking. We’re now at an altitude of three hundred kilometres, coming up over the west coast of Africa. You won’t see much as it’s night down there – that glow ahead is Sierra Leone – and there’s a big tropical storm over the Gulf of Guinea. Look at those flashes!
‘We’ll have sunrise in fifteen minutes. Meanwhile I’m rolling the ship so you can get a good view of the equatorial satellite belt. The brightest one – almost straight overhead – is Intelsat’s Atlantic-1 Antenna Farm. Then Intercosmos 2 to the west – that fainter star is Jupiter. And if you look just below that, you’ll see a flashing light, moving against the star background – that’s the new Chinese spacestation. We pass within a hundred kilometres, not close enough to see anything with the naked eye -,
What were they up to? Floyd thought idly. He had examined the close-ups of the squat cylindrical structure with its curious bulges, and saw no reason to believe the alarmist rumours that it was a laser-equipped fortress. But while the Beijing Academy of Science ignored the UN Space Committee’s repeated requests for a tour of inspection, the Chinese only had themselves to blame for such hostile propaganda.