“Look away,” Maxine said again, this time more urgently.
The urgency got through to Tammy. Maybe I should do as she says, she thought; maybe this little picture-show isn’t as innocent as it seems. Maybe I’m going to be stuck in this loop with the door and Jessica and the shadows coming through the sycamore forever.
A little spasm of panic rose in her. She made a conscious effort to avert her eyes, thinking of what Todd had said. But her mind’s eye had become glued to the scene the angel had conjured, and she couldn’t shake herself free of it. She forced herself to close her eyes but the loop was still there behind her eyelids. Indeed it carried more force there because it had nothing to compete with. She began to shake.
“Help me … ” she murmured to Maxine.
But there was no answer forthcoming.
“Maxine?”
There were beads of brightness in the image she could see in her mind’s eye, and they were getting stronger. In spite of her panicked state, Tammy didn’t have any difficulty figuring out what they signified. The angel was getting closer to her. It was using the cover of the looped memory to approach her, until she was within reach of it.
“Maxine!” she yelled, “Where the hell are you?”
In her mind’s eye, the green door on Monarch Street was opening for perhaps the eleventh or twelfth time: smiling Aunt Jessica appearing to beckon and speak-
“Maxine?”
“Your papa’s at the fire station — ”
“Maxine!”
She’d gone; that was the bitter truth of it. Seeing the angel approaching, and unable to pull Tammy out of its path, she’d done the sensible, self-protecting thing. She’d retreated.
The light in the scene on Monarch Street was getting brighter with every passing moment. She could feel its corrosive energies on her skin. What would the angel’s luminescence do to her if it touched her? Cook her marrow in her bones? Boil away all her blood? Oh, God in Heaven. This wasn’t a game: it was life or death. She had to find something to break the loop, before the light of the angelic projector got so hot it cremated her.
There was to be no help from Maxine, that was clear; so she was left with Todd. Where had he been the last time she’d seen him? Her thoughts were now so chaotic she couldn’t even remember that.
No, wait; he’d been upstairs, hadn’t he? She couldn’t picture him (the loop was too demanding, the brightness too sickeningly strong: it overwhelmed every other image in her head, real or imagined) but she remembered that he’d been up in the master bedroom.
Oh, and he’d been naked. She remembered that too. Todd the naked ghost, slapping his hard dick around as though it was a toy that he’d suddenly discovered was unbreakable. For a moment the image of Jessica on the doorstep juddered, as though the sprockets had become caught in the gate for a moment. Her mind had found a tool to thrust into the mechanism. Actually, Todd’s tool, bobbing at his groin, giving her its slit-eyed gaze.
Yes! She could almost see it-
Aunt Jessica’s smiling image juddered a second time, then the brightness behind the picture started to press through her eyes, burning away the pupils, making her look momentarily demonic.
“Yoyo yoyo you-your-Papas-as-as-as-atat-atat-atat-the-the-the-the — ”
The woman was jerking round like a puppet being manipulated by someone in the early stages of a grand mal. The loop flipped back, and she was beckoning again, with the first syllable of her speech caught on her tongue.
Tammy ignored it. She had Todd’s beautiful rod in her mind’s eye, and it was strong enough to break the Angel’s back.
“Go away,” she told Aunt Jessica.
“Yo-yo-yo-yo — ”
“I said: Go away!”
There it was now: Todd’s erection, clear as day. She made an intellectual assessment of it, to give solidity to the memory. It was a good eight inches long, circumcised, with a slight left-hand drift.
The light behind Aunt Jessica grew blindingly bright, burning away not only the old lady’s figure, but the stoop and the summer tree. The image of Todd’s manhood was getting stronger all the time, as though Tammy’s pulse beats were feeding it blood; fattening it, glorifying it.