we would not have survived. I was a boy, strong for my age, skilled in weaponry, and loyal, but I had nothing, Marjorie. Nothing. I had to make my own way, you know that. Even when I returned, it was to find my lands devastated. I still had little enough. Were it not for the king and Lord Graelam de Moreton, I would not now be the Earl of Oxborough.”
“You still love me.”
“I thought that I loved you when I was a boy, but I have learned it is folly to believe in such a thing. There is lust. That commodity flourishes everywhere. It is what makes men behave like fools, witness what Sir Roger did at Langthorne. He betrayed me because of his lust for this girl. Aye, there is nothing more than lust. It can be controlled if a man manages not to forget who and what he is. And there is responsibility and duty. There is rarely peace at Oxborough, but then again, there is rarely boredom either.”
“It is because of her that there is no peace.”
“Aye, you’re right about that. I am married to her, Marjorie. It is done. Why did you tell me that Hastings had begun her monthly flux?”
“I did not. I merely told you that she complained of belly cramps and said she had to change her gown. It is obvious, is it not?”
“Evidently not. Hastings is with child.”
“So,” Marjorie said very slowly, looking out over the sea, glimmering bright green today beneath a golden sun, her hand shading her eyes, “that is how she plans to hold you. That is why you are withdrawing from me.”
Severin leaned forward to pat his war-horse’s neck. “I do not believe that Hastings has any particular wish to hold me at the moment. Nor did I ever believe that a woman could make herself pregnant just by wishing it so.”
“Ah, but she could seduce you to her bed and that is what she has done.”
Severin only stared at her, remembering those precious few times Hastings had come to him, kissing him, telling him how she wanted him. There had been too few times.
“She is jealous of me. She knows that it is I you would prefer to have as your wife.”
“Aye, she is jealous of you. Once you return to Sedgewick she will forget. As to her being with child, why, that is one of my responsibilities. I must have an heir.”
“Will you visit me at Sedgewick?”
He stared at her, remembering when he had been deep inside her body. He remembered those moments as vividly as any in his entire life. She’d trusted him, loved him, given herself to him. Now she was alone. She was still so very beautiful, so soft, so gentle. He shook with the thoughts. “It is time to return to Oxborough,” he said.
She threw back her head and laughed aloud. Her incredible silver hair rippled down her back. She wheeled her palfrey about, kicking her in her sides and calling out to him over her shoulder, “I have not forgotten the boy in the man, no more than you have forgotten the girl in the woman. You will come back to me, I know it.”
When Severin finally returned to the castle, Hastings was sitting on the top step leading into the great hall. Her arms were wrapped around her knees.
They had been home for eight days. She was mending well. The wound hadn’t become poisoned. Trist was stretched out on his belly beside her, watching his master approach.
“It is time,” she said when Severin reached her.
“For what?”
“For the Sedgewick people to return home.”
“I forgot to tell you. There were more cases of the sweating illness. A messenger came two days ago to tell me. It still is not safe. I fear it will be an empty keep once the illness is past. However, Sir Alan still thrives, thank God.”
Hastings cursed.
“I believe I heard an animal part.”
“Aye,” she said, and rose slowly and very carefully.
“I would that you go rest now, Hastings. Alice told me that you have been on your feet for four hours now.”