Nick entered the ocean coordinates of the dive site into the navigation processor and put the boat on autopilot. He saw Carol yawn again. It was infectious. As he opened his mouth for a long, relaxing yawn, Nick realized how exhausted he was. He walked around behind the canopy and found two light air mattresses in a jumbled pile of supplies. He started inflating one of them by blowing into a valve at the end.
Carol came around to the back of the boat when the first mattress was almost inflated. The light on top of the canopy gave her face a glow. She’s even beautiful when she’s tired, Nick thought. He motioned to the other mattress. Carol bent down to pick it up and started inflating it. And very capable. I’ve never met a woman who was so good at so many things.
Nick finished with his air mattress and laid it down on the bottom of the boat. Carol was tiring, so he helped her inflate the rest of her mattress. He grabbed some towels and wadded them up like pillows. “We all have to sleep some,” he said to her as an explanation. “Otherwise we’ll be punchy when we try to dive.”
Carol nodded and walked back to the edge of the canopy. “Is it all right with you if Nick and I take a short nap?” she said to Troy. He smiled his assent. “Wake one or both of us in an hour,” she continued, “if you want to use one of the air mattresses.” She turned around and started to leave. “Uh, Troy,” she asked, before she left the side of the canopy.
“Yes, angel?” he answered.
“Do you know where they came from?” She pointed at the sky. Not too many stars were visible because of the brightness of the gibbous moon. It was well past its zenith and already into its western descent.
Troy looked up at the heavens and thought for almost a minute. “No, angel,” he responded at length. “I think they’ve tried to tell me, maybe even twice, but I can’t understand what they’re saying. But I do know that they come from another star.”
Troy now walked over beside Carol and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite,” he said. “And maybe you can ask them yourself after you wake up.”
Where do you come from? Carol was thinking. And why did you land here, in this place, at this time? She shaded her eyes from the glare of the moon and concentrated her attention on Sirius, the brightest true star in the sky. Do you have a home there, around another star? With mothers and fathers and brothers? Do you have love and oceans and mountains and music? And longing and loneliness and fear of death? For reasons she could not understand, tears found their way into Carol’s eyes. She dropped her gaze and walked back to the air mattresses. Nick was already stretched out on one of them. He was on his back and his eyes were closed. Carol lay down on the mattress beside him. She reached out and put her hand in his. He pulled her hand to his lips, kissed it softly, and dropped it on his chest.
Nick’s dream was confusing. He was in the main lobby of a huge open library with twenty floors of books. He could see the spiral staircases ascending to the stacks above him. “But you don’t understand,” he said to the clerk standing behind the long counter. “I must read all these books this weekend. Otherwise I won’t be ready for the test on Monday.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” the diffident clerk replied quietly after scanning Nick’s list a second time. “But all copies of these books are currently checked out.”
Nick started to panic. He looked up at the enormously high ceiling and the floors of shelved books above him. He saw Carol Dawson up on the third floor, leaning against the railing and reading a book. His panic subsided. She’ll know the material, he thought to himself in the dream. He raced over to the staircase and bounded up the two flights of curving stairs.
He was out of breath when he reached Carol. She was reading one of the books that had been on his list. “Oh, good,” he said between gasps, “I knew as soon as I saw you that there was no worry.”
She looked at him quizzically. Without warning she thrust her hand down into the top of his jeans and grabbed his penis. He responded immediately and leaned forward to kiss her. She shook her head and backed up. He pursued her, pushing her against the railing. She fought him. He pressed hard against her body and succeeded in kissing her. The railing gave way and they were falling, falling. He woke up before they hit the floor in the lobby of the library.
Nick shuddered himself awake. Carol was watching him intently. Her head was resting on her hands, propped up by her elbow. “Are you all right?” she asked as soon as he opened his eyes.
It took Nick a few seconds to acclimate after the vivid dream. His heart was still racing out of control. “I think so,” he said. Carol continued to stare at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Well,” she began, “I woke up because you were talking. I even thought I heard my name a couple of times. Maybe I imagined it. If you don’t mind my asking, do you often talk in your sleep?”
“I don’t know,” Nick answered. He laughed a little. “Nobody has ever mentioned it to me before.”
“Not even Monique?” Carol said. Her eyes did not leave Nick’s. She could tell that he was trying to decide what kind of answer to give to her question. You’re pushing again, a voice inside her said. Let the man do things at his own pace.
Nick looked away. “We did not sleep together that much,” he said softly. There was a long pause. “Besides,” he said, now turning back to Carol, “that was ten years ago. I was very young. And she was married to someone else.”
While they had been sleeping Troy had switched off the light on the top of the canopy. The only light on their faces now was the reflection from the moon. They continued to look at each other in silence. Nick had not said very much to Carol about Monique, but it had been more than he had ever told anyone else, including his parents. Carol knew how much of an effort it had been for him to answer her question honestly. She rolled over on her back again and extended her hand to Nick.
“So here we are, Mr. Williams. Two solitary voyagers on the sea of life. Both of us are now past thirty. Many of our friends and classmates have already settled down into that house in the suburbs with the two kids and a dog. Why not us? What’s different about us?”
The moon was accelerating its downward arc through the sky above them. As it descended, more stars could be seen on the opposite horizon. Nick thought he saw a shooting star. There would be no way to hide from feelings. Nick was jumping ahead of the conversation, imagining for the moment that he was going to be involved with Carol. She would not permit it. At least I would not have any doubts about where we stood.
“When I was over at her house on Friday morning,” Nick finally replied to her question, “Amanda Winchester told me that I’m looking for a fantasy woman, someone absolutely perfect. And that mere mortals always come up short in my estimation.” He propped his head up and looked at Carol. “But I think it’s something else. I think maybe I’m not willing to make a commitment because of fear of rejection.”
Did I really say that? wondered Nick, shocked at himself. Instantly he felt as if he never should have shared the thought. His defenses began to build and he braced himself for a flippant or insensitive reply.
But it did not come. Instead Carol was quiet and thoughtful. At length she spoke. “My protection is different from yours,” she said. “I always play it safe. I pick men I admire and respect, intellectual pals if you will, but for whom I do not have any passion. When I meet a man who sets off the banjos and bells, I run the other way.”
Because I’m afraid, she thought. Afraid that I might love him as much as I did my father. And I could not survive if I were abandoned like that again.
She felt Nick’s hand on her cheek. He was caressing her gently. She reached up, took his hand, and squeezed it. He pulled himself up on his side where he could see her better. She could tell that he wanted to kiss her. She squeezed his hand again. Slowly, tentatively, he dropped his mouth on hers. It was a tender, adoring kiss, without pressure or overt passion, a subtle, artful question that could have been either the beginning of a love affair or the sole kiss exchanged between two people whose paths just happened to cross in life. Carol heard banjos and bells.