Crusader. Novel by Sara Douglass

fabric she’d chosen to don.

The fact that StarLaughter had a reasonable hike before her did not deter her from donning such

finery. She would manage. She had to.

StarLaughter picked up her bag, lifted her skirts, and set out on her conquest.

She had a quest, one that was right and true and good, and she was happy. WolfStar would realise

his true love for her, and then, united, they could rescue their son.

DragonStar had been right, StarLaughter had finally, reluctantly, decided, when he’d said that

WolfStar and those he was with (who could surely be discarded once their purpose was done)

would head south rather than swing west along the Icebear Coast. WolfStar’s companions would want

the south’s relative warmth — and StarLaughter’s mouth smiled sarcastically whenever she thought about

what they’d find there — rather than a continuance of the northern icy wastes.

Stars knew how they’d cope with the Skraelings in the tundra, StarLaughter thought. But they had

WolfStar to aid them, and he would surely protect them.

StarLaughter’s mouth relaxed into warmth as she contemplated how her magnificent lover had

undoubtedly driven back the Skraelings with his powerful enchantments.

Somehow StarLaughter had managed to forget that WolfStar’s power had been lost along

with that of the Star Dance. In her mind, he was as powerful as he had always been, and in her mind, he

was as anxious to resume their love affair as she was. Undoubtedly he was already dreaming of the new

son they would make between them.

“Ah!” StarLaughter murmured as she carried her pack up the stairwells and corridors towards the

surface. “What a life we have before us! WolfStar, me, and our son. What a happy, happy family we

shall make!”

StarLaughter could no more contemplate the fact that WolfStar might not be particularly

pleased to see her again, nor

want to resume their relationship, than she could contemplate a future world without herself in it.

She was immortal, and her and WolfStar’s love would last for all time.

Hadn’t it thus far?

By dawn StarLaughter was picking her way over the debris of the glacier that had run between Star

Finger and the Icebear coast. Despite the relative difficulty of the terrain, and the freezing wind that was

hurrying south over the icebergs of the Iskruel Ocean, StarLaughter was humming happily. She did not

appear to mind, or perhaps even notice, that the wind tore the fabric of her robe, or that the fine

needles of ice it contained ruined her makeup. She was not apparently aware that her hair had

been torn loose from its carefully contrived moorings, or that the wind had ruffled her wing

feathers into chaos.

She was on her way to WolfStar, and she was contented. Nothing could go wrong.

By mid-morning, StarLaughter had reached the clearer ground of the beach itself, and she

turned due east. As she strode along the grit, unmindful of the crashing waves that sent

dampening spray all over her, StarLaughter used the kernel of power that the Demons had given her to

speed her progress. For every step she took, five paces of ground flew by underneath her sandalled feet.

StarLaughter did not fly, for every instinct told her that the sky was a very, very dangerous place this

day.

But there were a few who were brave enough to dare the air, and StarGrace was one of them. She’d

watched over Leagh all night (wondering, puzzling, frowning) as the woman had curled up against a

tree stump, and she had then spent the dawn hour thinking.

Once the sun crested the ridge above the Fernbrake crater, StarGrace had lifted into the air.

She needed to talk a while with StarLaughter.

It took StarGrace several hours to find her quarry, and when she did, StarGrace had to circle a few

minutes, trying to come to terms with what she saw below her.

StarLaughter, striding along the beach of the Icebear coast.

That, in itself, was not enough to pique StarGrace’s curiosity. It was what StarLaughter looked like

that had, for the moment, stunned the Hawkchild.

She was hideously made up with face paint (smudged and streaked since the elements played with

her), as she was also hideously garbed: for whatever reason, StarLaughter had chosen a vivid yellow

gown draped over with lurid pink and silver brocade. She had dyed her wings orange and red.

She looked ghastly.

StarGrace was self-aware enough to understand that her own mind spent too much of its time

twisting in maddened circles and frustrating dead ends. StarGrace was also sane enough (just) to realise

that StarLaughter’s mind had tipped over the crumbling edge of whatever cliff it was they had all clung to

these past few thousand years.

StarGrace circled lower, her face now creased in speculation.

StarLaughter heard the slight noise behind her and spun about.

“Oh!” she cried, and then laughed.

StarGrace was hobbling towards her, half-Icarii, half-Hawkchild. Her face was that of the

golden girl, StarGrace, as was her left arm and leg. But the rest of her was still black Hawkchild, and she

hobbled and stumbled alarmingly as she walked from foot to claw, and back again.

Twisted wings dragged on the ground behind her, useless in her current state of mal-transformation.

“Why, StarGrace!” StarLaughter cried brightly, and set a welcoming expression on her face. “What

do you here?”

“Come to speak with you,” StarGrace said, and made a stupendous effort to manage the final

transformation from Hawkchild to young Icarii woman.

Her features ran, blurred, and then set themselves into that of the beautiful woman.

“Oh?” StarLaughter said, and clutched her hands before her, managing to look extremely guilty and

extremely irritated at the same time.

“Mmmm,” StarGrace said. “And what do you do here? Why hurrying east? Is east where Wolf Star

lies?”

“Well …” StarLaughter said, looking over her shoulder as if there might be a salvation hurrying over

to meet her. “Well…”

StarGrace’s mind twisted with distrust. StarLaughter did know where WolfStar was. Then

why had she not called the Hawkchilds? What was StarLaughter up to?

“I’m up to living my own life,” StarLaughter snapped, and strangely that display of ill-temper eased

StarGrace’s mind a little.

“Is WolfStar east?” she asked again.

“Yes,” StarLaughter admitted. “There is a convoy east, escapees from this Sanctuary that

DragonStar has muttered so much about.”

“And WolfStar is among them!”

“Wait!” StarLaughter cried as StarGrace’s features blurred once again and she made as if to lift into

the air.

“Wait for what?” StarGrace said. Her features were still twisting and turning, and her voice was

horribly muffled and thick.

“Well, the convoy is heavily protected! Thick enchantments!” StarLaughter had no idea of the truth

she actually spoke. It was simply the first thing that sprang to mind.

“And?” StarGrace had completed her transformation back into Hawkchild, and now she

hopped a pace closer to StarLaughter, her head tilted suspiciously.

“And the enchantments are too thick for us to break through. Dangerous. I,” and now StarLaughter

had grown enough in confidence to square her shoulders, and shake her hair out, “am endeavouring to

tempt WolfStar out from his bolthole. Once he is out from under his protective enchantments, then we

can do what we will.”

StarGrace looked StarLaughter over once again. “And you are going to tempt WolfStar out dressed

like that?”

“I shall need to recomb my hair and wing feathers,” StarLaughter said, and then she smiled

indulgently, “but he will not be able to resist me.”

StarGrace thought that WolfStar would manage a resistance very easily, but she said nothing. In

truth, StarGrace did not quite know what to make of the situation. Once, she and her

companion Hawkchilds had felt such a oneness of purpose with StarLaughter that StarGrace could have

trusted her through death and beyond. Indeed, she had done so.

Now?

Now StarGrace suspected StarLaughter’s mind had gone completely insane, and StarGrace did not

know what twists and

conundrums it had decided to present to StarLaughter as utter reality.

StarGrace shifted uncertainly.

“When I get within a day’s march of WolfStar, I shall let you know,” StarLaughter said.

Still StarGrace said nothing.

“Truly,” StarLaughter said, and StarGrace finally nodded.

“Make sure that you do,” she said, and lifted into the air. StarGrace had trusted StarLaughter

through four thousand years, and the woman had not let her down once during this time. StarGrace could

surely trust her for a few more days.

StarLaughter smiled and waved as the Hawkchild soared high into the sky, circled twice, then flew

south again.

She did not realise that StarGrace did not believe a word of what she’d said.

Chapter 44

The Heart Incarnate

At dawn, Urbeth and her daughters reappeared. They were patently exhausted, and Axis and Azhure

wondered at the exertions, both physical and magical, they must have undergone in order to draw the

Demons away from the fleeing convoy, and then to escape the Demons’ wrath themselves. Urbeth and

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