“Survive for what?” Camilla said, almost frantic. “To revert to savagery, survive as farmers, barbarians, with nothing that makes life worth living? We’d do better to die in a last effort!”
“I don’t know why you say that, my love. After all, the first humans started with less than we have. Their world, maybe, had a little better climate, but then we have ten or twelve thousand years of human know-how. A group of people that Captain Leicester thinks capable of repairing a starship, ought to have enough know-how to build a pretty good life for themselves and their children–and all the generations after that.” He tried to draw her into his arms, but she wrenched away, white and furious.
“I’d rather die,” she said harshly, “any civilized human being would! You’re worse than the New Hebrides group out there–Moray’s people–that damnfool back-to-nature crew, playing right into his hands–”
“I don’t know anything about them–Camilla, my darling, please don’t be angry with me. I’m only trying to look at both sides–”
“But there is only one side,” she flung at him, angry and implacable, “and if you don’t see it that way then you aren’t even worth talking with! I’m ashamed–I’m ashamed of myself that I ever let myself think you might be different!” Tears were running down her face, and she angrily flung off his hands. “Get out and stay out! Get out, damn you!”
MacAran had the temper usually associated with his hair. He dropped his hands as if he had been burned, and spun on his heel. “It will be a positive pleasure,” he said between his teeth, and strode out of the dome, slamming the reinforced door until it rattled on its hinges. Behind him Camilla collapsed on a bench, her face in her hands, and cried herself sick, weeping frantically until a wave of violent nausea racked her, forcing her to stagger away toward the women’s latrine area. At last she crept away, her head pounding, her face flushed and sore, aching in every nerve.
As she returned to the computer dome, a memory struck her. This had happened three times now–in a surge of violent fear and rejection, her hands went up to her mouth, and she bit at her knuckles.
“Oh, no,” she whispered, “Oh, no, no…” and her voice trailed off in whispered pleas and imprecations. Her grey eyes were wild with terror.
MacAran had gone into the combined recreation area-refectory, which had quickly become a center for the huge and disorganized community, when he noticed on an improvised bulletin board a notice about a meeting of the New Hebrides Commune. He had seen this before–the colonists accepted by Earth Expeditionary had consisted not only of individuals like himself and Jenny, but of small groups or communes, extended families, even two or three business companies wishing to extend their trade or open branch offices. They were all carefully screened to determine how they would fit into the balanced development of the colony, but apart from that they were a most heterogeneous crew. He suspected that the New Hebrides Commune was one of the many small neo-rural communes who had drawn away from the mainstream society on latter-day Earth, resenting its industrialization and regimentation. Many such communities had gone out to the star colonies; everyone agreed that while misfits on Earth, they made excellent colonists. He had never paid the slightest attention to them before; but after Camilla’s words he was curious. He wondered if their meeting was open to outsiders?
He vaguely remembered that this group had occasionally reserved one of the ship’s recreation areas for their own meetings, they seemed to have a strongly knit community life. Well, at worst they could ask him to leave.
He found them in the empty, between-meal refectory area. Most of them were sitting in a circle and playing musical instruments; one of them, a tall youth with long braided hair, raised his head and said, “Members only, friend,” but another, a girl with red hair hanging loose to her waist, said, “No, Alastair. It’s MacAran, and he was on the exploring team, he knows a lot of the answers we need. Come in, man, make yourself welcome.”