DAVID A. GEMMEL. SWORD IN THE STORM

‘No you cannot. She is dead. Her spirit has flown.’

Conn glanced at her.

‘You think it is just about Tae? Do you know what happened at Shining Water?’

‘You killed the men responsible. Everyone knows that.’

‘Oh, Eriatha, if only that were true. Why did you come here. Tell me truly.’

‘Your mother came to me. She thought that you and I . . .’ Eriatha sighed, then gave a shy smile. ‘She thought we might have a bond.’

‘And we do,’ said Conn. ‘You are one of my dearest friends. And even with you I am finding it hard to speak the truth. I do not want you to hate me.’

Eriatha sat very still. ‘I think you had better just say what is in your mind, Conn.’

‘I burned the village. And worse. I can scarce remember how I felt as I rode to the Fisher Laird’s hall. It was as if all the anger and the hurt, the loss and the shame turned me to winter. I went into the hall and killed the Laird and his sons. Flames were all around me. The hall was burning. I cannot remember how it started. But when I left I carried a lantern and set fire to nearby houses. There was a roaring in my head, and then there were people running around me, screaming and shouting. I lashed out at them. I killed them, Eriatha. When dawn came I walked through the ruins. I saw the bodies. Two were children. But there were women too.’

‘You killed women and children?’ Eriatha was aghast. ‘Oh Conn! That was evil.’

‘I know.’ He looked away from her face. ‘I didn’t know what to do, so I came here, to try to think. Yes, it was an evil deed, and I know this is no excuse, but I truly did not know what I was doing. When I saw their bodies it was like a spear was being thrust through my heart. If I could bring them back – even with my own death – I would do it. Without hesitation.’

‘But you cannot bring them back,’ she said, coldly. ‘No-one can. And you cannot make amends, Conn. These deeds have stained your soul. And they will haunt you – as they should haunt you – till the day you die. I thought you had learned a lesson when you fought the Perdii. I thought you had come to realize that hate leads to vileness and evil. I hope, for all our sakes, that you have learned that lesson now.’

‘Aye,’ he said. ‘It is burned into my heart.’ He looked at her stern face, and noted the coldness in her eyes. ‘Do we still have a bond?’ he asked.

‘I’ll not lie to you, Conn. I think the less of you. I thought you were stronger than this. Oh, I always knew of the violence in your soul, but I believed – foolishly – that you were in control of it.’

‘Then we are friends no longer?’

‘We will always be friends, Conn,’ she said, softly. ‘There is much that is good in you, and much that I admire. And, as your friend, I am more sorry than I can say that Tae has been lost to you. Tell me this, though: how is it that if you loved her so well you could rut with a stranger?’

‘It was no stranger,’ he said. ‘It was Arian. I did not know she lived close to Old Oaks. I rode in to speak to the herdsmen who tend the Laird’s cattle. She was there. Alone. I thought I had put her behind me. I do not love her, Eriatha. But when I am close to her…

‘Hah!’ she said, scornfully, ‘that, at least, I understand. It is the call of the flesh. Men are cursed with it.’ Her expression softened. ‘But you did love Arian desperately, Conn. I remember the night you told me of her. Love made your eyes shine like lanterns.’

She looked at his eyes now and saw that they were haunted, and bloodshot. ‘How long since you slept?’

‘Several days, I think. When I sleep I dream of Tae. Then when I wake – just for a moment – I think she is still alive. Waiting for me.’ He shivered. ‘Better not to sleep.’

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