Davis, Jerry – Wall Of Delusion

“I

I don’t understand.”

“You are where you perceive you are.” Dr. Kline tapped on his desk with his finger. “If you perceive you are here, this is where you are.”

“But if the space/time continuum is a thing and not a flow, how can I change it?”

“I don’t know. That’s one of the things I’m trying to find out.” Dr. Kline stood up. “Since you didn’t commit your murder, I advise you to go out and make your life a better place. If you show up again here, or start telling people your story, I’ll have you committed in a mental institution and perform a lobotomy on you. Do we have an understanding?”

Scott slowly stood up, his eyes on Dr. Kline. The man was serious – he could see it. “Yeah, we have an understanding.”

“Good. I’ll escort you to the door.”

#

Terri showed up later that night. The house was dark, and Scott had all the windows open so there was a breeze blowing through the rooms, fluttering the curtains. He could hear the wind chimes on the back porch. When she showed up and said, “Hi Scott,”

he didn’t know what to say. It was suddenly all different. He had a question to ask her but he didn’t want to just blurt it out.

“John’s not here,” she said. “I came to see how you’re doing.”

There was just enough light for him to see her; a diffuse glow that flowed and ebbed as the wind moved a tree branch in front of a street light. She was wearing a familiar white summer dress. Her hair was up, exposing her long graceful neck. I killed her, Scott thought. I blew her face right off. I wish I could edit my memories, I could cut that whole scene out and forget it.

Of course, it’s still possible that I am – even now – behind a wall of delusion. But if I can’t tell the difference, why worry about it?

“Are you okay?” she asked him.

“I’m better,” he said. “I guess I went over the edge there for a while, but I’m back.”

“I really didn’t want this to happen,” she said. “Things just got out of control.”

Here it is, Scott thought. An opportunity. He composed his question for the moment, hoping it wasn’t too out of left field.

“I need to know something,” he said to her. “Is there a mistake I made, or something I did wrong, that caused this? Something that happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Think,” he said, unable to keep the tension out of his voice. “Remember when you told me the moment you fell in love with me? Was there a moment when you fell out of love with me?”

“I never fell out of love with you,” she said. “I just succumbed to temptation.”

“Is there something I could have done to prevent that?”

“It never was something you did or didn’t do.”

“Nothing at all?”

“It’s more that you have a day shift and I have a night shift.” She gave a low laugh. It sounded sad. “I’m late for work as it is right now.”

“I remember,” Scott said. “I remember the discussion we had, when we decided it would be okay for you to take a night shift.”

“Yes,” Terri said. “I guess that was our mistake.”

He suddenly grabbed her, startling her, but he gave her a big kiss. “That’s it!” he said. “We’ll give that a try!”

“I don’t understand,” Terri said.

“It’s okay,” Scott told her. “You don’t need to understand.” He had his eyes closed, picturing the phantom spring in his head, and as he did he willed it to turn counter-clockwise.

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[Oh man, that was awful! Get me out of here!]

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