Devil’s Waltz. By: Jonathan Kellerman

bET. STURGIS: Is that why you killed him?

MR. JONES: Don’t be tedious, Detective. Chad died of sudden infant

death syndrome.

bET. STURGIS: How can you be sure?

MR. JONES: Textbook case. I read up on it SIDS-after the little guy

died. Trying to understand to work it through. It was a horrible time

for me. He wasn’t my flesh and blood, but I still loved him.

bET. SrvRGIS: Okay, let’s move on. Your mother. Why’d you kill

her?

MR. TOKARI~: I object!

MR. JONES: YoufuckbET. S’rI’RGIS: See, I did some studying, too MR.

JONES: You fat fuMR. TOKARIK: I object! I most strenuously object to

this bET. STURGIS: trying to understand you, Prof. Talked to people

all about your mom. You’d be amazed at how willing people are to talk

once someone’s down MR. JONES: You are stupid. You are psychotic

and… and egregiously stupid and ignorant. I should have known better

than to bare my soul to someone like MR. TOKARIK: Chip bET. STURGIS:

One thing they all agree on was that old Mom was a hypochondriac.

Healthy as a horse but convinced she was terminally ill. One person I

spoke to said her bedroom was like a hospital room-that she actually

had a hospital bed. With the little table? All these pills and syrups

lying around. Needles too. Lots of needles. She stick herself, or

get you to do it?

MR. JONES: Oh, God…

MR. TOKARIK: Take my handkerchief, Chip. Detective, I demand that you

cease this line of questioning.

DET. S’rURGIS: Sure. Bye.

MR. JONES: She was the one who did the sticking! Herself and me-she

hurt me! Vitamin B-12 shots twice a day.

Protein shots. Antihistamine shots, even though I wasn’t allergic to

anything! My bottom was her fucking pincushion!

Antibiotics the minute I coughed. Tetanus shots if I got a scrape. I

was the Azazel goat-cod liver oil and castor oil, and ill threw it up,

I had to clean it up and to take a double dosage. She could always get

hold of medicine because she used to be a nurse-that’s how she met

him.

Army hospital, he was wounded at Anzio-big hero. She took care of him,

but to me she was a sadistic maniac-you have no idea what it was

like!

bET. STURGIS: Sounds like no one protected you.

MR. JONES: No one! It was a living hell. Every day brought a new

surprise. That’s why I hate surprises. Hate them. Detest them.

bET. S’rURGIS: You prefer everything planned out, huh?

MR. JONES: Organization. I like organization.

bET. S’rURGIS: Sounds like your dad let you down.

MR. JONES: (laughs) That’s his hobby.

bET. S”rURGIS: So you go your own way.

MR. JONES: Mother’s the- Necessity’s the mother of invention.

(laughs) Thank you, Herr Freud.

bET. S’rURGIS: Getting back to mom for a minute MR. JONES: let’s

not.

bET. S’:rURGIS: The way she died-Valium O.D plastic bag over the head

guess we’ll never prove it wasn’t suicide.

MR. JONES: That’s because it was. And that’s all I have to say about

that.

bET. S’rURGIS: Want to say anything about why you hung two pictures

she painted in your house but really low to the ground? What was that,

a symbolic demeaning or something?

MR. JONES: I have nothing to say about that.

bET STURGIS: Uh-huh. .. yeah. . . So what you’re trying to tell me

is, you’re the victim and this is all a big misunderstanding.

MR. JONES: (unintelligible) bET. S’rURGIS: What?

MR. JONES: Context, Detective. Context.

DET. STURGIS: New lens.

MR. JONES: Exactly.

DET. STuRGis: Your reading up on sudden infant death was because you

were trying to understand your . . . Chad’s death?

MR. JONES: Exactly.

bET. STURGIS: Did you read up on Munchausen syndrome by proxy because

you were trying to understand Cassie’s illnesses?

MR. JONES: As a matter of fact, I did. Research is what I’m trained

to do, Detective. All the experts seemed to be baffled by Cassie’s

symptoms. I figured I’d learn what I could.

bET. STURGIS: Dawn Herbert said you were once pre-med.

MR. JONES: Very briefly. I lost interest.

bET. STURGIS: Why?

MR. JONES: Too concrete, no imagination involved. boctors are really

nothing more than glorified plumbers.

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